It's Whatever

This update took TOO long

2010-04-30T00:06:00.006-05:00

I have heard from many of you about updates on Kendall and why I stopped writing the blog. Truth is....I felt like if I wrote something, then things might be over. But isn't that what we want...for it to be over. The last 8 months of my life has been turned upside down. Not to mention what it has done for Kendall...for Tammy, Whitney, Bragan and Dylan and many..many other people in her life. It has been "a journey". Today is
May 12. I'm gonna post in this post, what I wrote when we got home......

"Today is April 29, around midnight, and I am going to write the last official entry into the journey of Kendall Thomas. I know that its been a couple of weeks since the last post, I just couldn't find the words to write to you to truly express how I feel. I'm gonna give it my best shot though:

Kendall and me went to the doctor on that next Tuesday, 13th. We meet with them and she was cleared to go home. Kendall was so excited and wanted to go right then, which we couldn't, we still had to have her PICC line removed and finish gathering a few things at the apartment. None the less we did leave that same day, she was determined to get moving. And as usual, I did it to make her happy. Its been a while since she has been that happy. And knowing this in the back of my mind, I was not ready to go. I became scared about what could and can happen. How are we gonna fix it if we're in Gardendale. The doctors are in Houston and I wanted to stay around them. Kendall would have no part in it. She was ready to go. So we did.

Kendall is home now and wont go back for three months. She is still going to be tested for blood work every month. We pray that all the test show good positive things."

.....so, that's as far as I got before I had to quit. Writers block or facing reality of what is going to happen next. I just took some time to try and become normal again...with my family. It was hard to do. Me and Tammy have not hardly been together in some time and we keep getting into each others way. She had developed her routine as had I. And it didn't seem to mesh anymore. Work was hard to go back to, not knowing where Kendall was every minute of the day and wondering if she was ok. That took some time to adjust. Dylan, my baby boy.... that has grown up too fast and I feel like I missed the last moments of him being a child. He is turning out to be quite a teenager. Very independent and doesn't need his daddy anymore..or as much. Whitney and Bragan have their own families now and are not as needing anymore either. Everybody grew up...but not apart. We do feel stronger as a family. The family has even grown. Our neighbors have become closer, more like family and we have all developed a special bond during this journey. People we have meet in Houston have become family, doctors, other patients and even strangers.

Out of all of this, Kendall is fixing to return to school. Getting ready to move next week. I keep telling myself that a move to Montgomery is a lot better than a move back to Houston. Kendall has started back training and exercising for school. I know she knows I am having a hard time with it but she always tries to make me laugh by saying that she has been with me every day for 8 months and she doesn't have to see me every day anymore. She has saved them all up.

We go back to Houston in July for our first three month check up. That should be a pleasant trip. I don't know if I will ever get Kendall on a plane again.

Me and God have spend a lot of time together lately. Mostly me giving him thanks for his miracles. I never gave up on him and never will. It's easy to see how we need God when things are not going our way. He is easy to talk to and always listens. It did make me feel better trying to find scripture that would give me hope, faith and encouragement...and love. Now that things are returning to normal around, I want to keep God around more. I know he has always been there, but like the other people, neighbors, strangers and family that we have made stronger bonds with...God is one of those..too. I know I can't always get my way, but as long as I can keep God with me...it doesn't really matter
"which way" it is.

PS. This is not really the last entry...that was a little dramatic on my part!

May 13, 2010

Is This Our Final Week?

2010-04-09T09:39:00.003-05:00

Well, I thought that we might be packing up and getting ready to drive home. Kendall went to the doctor today to have her blood work checked. The doctor said they were starting to improve but that they were not where they wanted them to be at before she goes home. So instead of packing we have one more weekend to spend in Houston. Kendall did not need any blood or platelets today and her white blood cells are really starting to climb. Some of it may have been due to Kendall being sick the last 3 days. Nothing but laying in the bed with headaches and being nauseous. When I got up this morning I noticed that she had gotten up sometime during the night and fixed popcorn, so I knew she was feeling better.

Kendall goes back to the doctor Tuesday and that might be the day we can come home, as long as her blood counts are still improving. But the doctor wouldn't say for sure. Kendall was a little upset, I know she's ready to come home. She didn't have to say anything, her facial expressions said it all. When we were in the car on the way to the apartment we talked about it a little. She was looking forward to packing up today and heading home. But she said she guessed she could stand a few more days but not many more. I'll find us something to do to take her mind off of it. But it ain't going to be easy.

We have to go back to a physical therapy session this afternoon to start Kendall's road to complete physical recovery. They're gonna show her how to start off slow and work into a regular training routine for exercise. Kendall is really excited about that visit. I still can't get her to go walk with me outside. I can't really blame her though. The last time I made her walk outside with me, she threw up in the parking lot and she reminds me of that every time I ask her to walk.

Kendall's going to get a nap to rest up for the appointment this afternoon. Maybe by Tuesday I will telling you that we are driving home.

Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness

The Verdict Is In

2010-03-30T21:17:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting at work today doing some paperwork. My cell phone rings and it is MD Anderson hospital. A million things begin to go through my mind as I answer the phone. It's one of Kendall's PA's(physician assistants)calling to tell me some news about Kendall. She says that Kendall no longer needs to have anymore lumbar punctures or chemotherapy. Kendall is 100% tumor free and she has 0% leukemic cells. Speechless! All of Kendall's test results from last week were very good. At this point, I don't seem to hear anything else. The last 7 1/2 months flash before my eyes. Is it really over. Can Kendall come home to stay this time? I didn't know what to say. I hang up the phone and almost instantly get a phone call from Kendall. I will never forget the excitement in her voice as she begins to tell me what the doctor told her today. I tried so hard to reach through the phone and hug her. This is almost over and we can make that final journey back home. Then I talked to Tammy and the excitement continued. Tammy was crying so much I could barely hold mine back.

After several hours of the news sinking in...it was such a relief to finally just say out loud that Kendall's cancer is gone. Can she now resume her life before it was so abruptly changed?

Dylan and myself are going out to Houston this weekend for one last visit. Then Dylan and Tammy will come home while I finish out Kendall's journey in Houston for the next couple of weeks. It will be so great to load up the apartment and head for home.

I can't wait!!!!!!

John 16:32
But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.

The Official Last Round of Chemo

2010-03-18T03:10:00.002-05:00

Once again, I take Kendall and Tammy to the airport for their final journey back to Houston for Kendall's last round of chemotherapy. I dropped them off this even and gave each of them a long hug and kiss and told them that I loved them. Letting go still remains hard for me to do as I know the day nears when Kendall is off to college again. That is already storing a supply of tears to fall. Kendall has been so anxious this last two weeks and is also so confident about getting started. They made it back about 7pm and safely entered the cozy surroundings of the "apartment". I am so looking forward to packing it up and moving back home.

Kendall will be at the doctor early this morning to get things started. I pulled up her schedule and the next 30 days is filling up quick with things to do. I will make sure over the next couple of days to post the last reports of her doctors visits and procedures as they happen. God has performed such a miracle already and I want to make sure that to God be the glory. He has been with my family extremely close over the last 7 months and we all have been truly blessed and touched by his power.

I always meet someone around Gardendale that asks about Kendall or the family and it is another blessing that we have received from all of you and your prayers and thoughts. I mean it when I say that you have meant a great deal to Kendall and my family as well and I hope to be able to personally thank and hug each of you and touch you as you have touched my heart.

Well as you can see by the time stamped post, its past 3:30am and I can't sleep. Anxious, nervous and praying that this goes well one more time. Good night.

Romans 15:13
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Catching Up To Do

2010-03-07T03:10:00.002-06:00

In just over a short week, so much has happened in the way of Kendall's schedule, I wasn't sure what I needed to write because things changed so fast.

On that Friday, February 26, Kendall did have to have platelets again that morning at the hospital. But we did manage to make the late afternoon flight to come home. Wasn't sure we were even going to get to come home. Kendall has had several more infections come up and that has caused her blood counts to really be out of line. But we did come home. Kendall was still really tired and she didn't do much while we she was home. The only thing she really wanted to go and do was to see her team play softball on that Friday. They were playing at 1:00pm, nut we were late coming in. So I wanted to tell Coach we're sorry we couldn't make it but maybe we can catch one soon.

Kendall and Tammy flew out on Tuesday afternoon headed back to Houston. Kendall has to have another lumbar puncture with chemo in her spine and also have a bone marrow aspiration. I especially couldn't wait to get the results of the bone marrow aspiration. This test was going to assure us that Kendall was still in remission. Her last test showed that she had around 3% blasts cells (leukemic cells) in her body. They want that number to of course be at zero(0). But anything under 5% and she is still in remission. Even a lower number than the previous will shoe=w that her treatment is still working. That test was giving on the March 3rd and she had to meet with her doctor on March 4th to get the news.

On Thursday, March 4th, we received the results for the aspiration and it showed around 1% blasts cells. Which was GREAT news! It could still go a little lower and maybe when the next treatment is over it will be lower. But around 1% is just what we all needed to hear. Kendall could have left the doctor's office that day and everything would have been a great day. But then she received some other news about her blood counts, The doctor said her blood counts were too low to start the next round of chemo. She said the blood was working on its on now but that they were just not recovering enough to go through the next round. Tammy said Kendall's face turned red as they told her it would need to be post poned for a week. Then I think Kendall had steam coming from her head as the doctor told her that she needs a two week break instead and told her to go back home to rest. I knew Kendall was furious as she was so ready to start the next round to get through. Tammy called me to tell me all of this news and and I felt like I was back on the roller coaster, up and down up and down.

I booked Kendall and Tammy a flight home for Friday, March 5th and anxiously awaited their return. I spoke to Kendall later on that day and she was a little better. She was still upset and disappointed that she couldn't start chemo but was instead dealing more with being sick from the lumbar puncture. So we had a reunion on Friday only though Kendall was gone for just a few days but we still celebrated the results from the blast cells. Kendall is still in remission.

Over the next few days, we will look over her schedule on exactly what day Kendall and Tammy will be going back out. But for now I will enjoy my family all together for a short week or so. And Tammy wasn't even mad that I had not done anything on my "to do list" that she gave me because they weren't gone long enough for anything other than me to read it. I of course was working on a game plan to tackle the lists. But now that list is gone as Tammy has already revised it for a newer one.

Sleep, Rest...we need it

2010-02-25T01:21:00.004-06:00

I thought I would be writing this post from Gardendale tonight but Kendall and me are still in Houston. Kendall and myself spent 3 wonderful nights in the hospital with Kendall's fever. Running test and drawing blood. Well her fever broke but she still had a slight infection but we were able to go back to the apartment. Although she is having to take IV antibiotics for the next 13 days. Every 6 hours. Try sleeping with that routine. The medicine is refrigerated and had to be room temperature prior to giving it, then after running for an hour it has to be unhooked and the lines flushed so they won't clog. Midnight and 6am are the toughest but so far it has been ok. An hour of sleep here and an hour of sleep there. Not to mention that Kendall has all of her other medication that she is taking twice a day.

Back to being home. The lab showed that her platelets are not recovering very fast and she is having to have them transfused every other day. Some of it was due to the fever and infection. It leaves her really tired and doesn't have a lot of energy to do anything. She has also been bleeding more than normal from her mouth as the result of low platelets. They have been low before but not for this long. The doctor said Kendall needed to stay around close because of the way her platelets keep dropping so fast. She goes back Friday for another check and maybe by then we will be able to go home. They want to start the last round of treatment next week. So much has to happen before she can start again. For now, I make sure she is resting and eating some hoping that her body pulls itself together for this last cycle.

Fevers Means Larger Hospital Rooms

2010-02-18T22:42:00.003-06:00

Back in the hospital for those long nights,no sleeping and general discomfort. Kendall ran a fever that could not be avoided so we made the trip to the Emergency Room. 3pm till 2am is not as bad as it seems. Really, we were able to sit in the er with lots of people that even somelooked to be in more pain that Kendall. I tried to be patient>The nurse told me that she was putting us in a wing that nobody is using. I said you will forget about us and we'll be here forever. She assured me that, that would not happen. Well it did, we didn't see a nurse for hours. Finally got in the roomabout 2am and Kendall slept a little but I could not. The nerses where in her room every 39 minutes now. So I stayed up and are now feeling the affects of no sleep.

Kendall hasreceived two units of blood and 6 units of platelets and on all the antiobiodics anyone could imagine. She's doing fine,just notreal social causeshe is tired so much. Won'tkeep you long just wanted to give the quick update.

Steady Is The Path

2010-02-16T21:52:00.002-06:00

I don't know how this past week has slipped by me. It just seemed liked yesterday that Kendall was starting her chemo and we were getting settled in. Kendall has had, so far a good beginning. This past week, Kendall hasn't done a lot because she has been tired. She did give me a scare last night when she started to run a fever but it came down and we avoided a hospital trip. She told me that she was due a trip to the emergency room and had already packed an overnight bag to go. She is starting to become more comfortable with the realization that she has leukemia. She knows what she has do and has no problem in getting it done. I know she still gets upset about it, but I have begin to see how much she has grown through this experience. And she has handled it extremely well. I am very proud of her for the strength and courage she has shown throughout this.

Kendall's blood counts have been really low this week and haven't begun to recover yet. Hopefully by the end of the week they will start to recover. She has had to get platelets every other day. But even though she's recovering slower that usual, she has more upbeat days than down days.

We meet some new people this week at the hospital. We were laughing at how we can tell what people are new to MD Anderson and what people have been around for a long time. The new people we met are from Kentucky and have only been out here for a month. Kendall and me felt like regulars as they were asking how to get around the hospital and about things around Houston. As I carried on my conversation with them, I couldn't help but think how familiar I have really became with the hospital and even with the city of Houston. Then I began to think about how much I missed our home, our family and our neighbors. I began to get sad thinking about that so then I began to think about how close Kendall is to being through with her treatment and we can get back to all those things that we miss.

Psalm 68:13
Even while you sleep among the CAMPFIRES, the wings of my dove are sheathed with silver, its feathers with shining gold."

Gods Miracle Opportunity

2010-02-08T19:23:00.002-06:00

How many mornings do you wake up and realize that each day is a miracle. That every day you have an opportunity to shine in Gods eyes. I was reminded of that this morning when Dylan called me at 6:45am. I was laying in the bed thinking about all the reasons why I shouldn't get out of it. Dylan's voice was so full of life, excitement....opportunity! He was walking out to catch the school bus and wanted to call me not only to see what I was doing but also to specifically ask how was Kendall doing. His voice reminded me of some of the reasons why I should get out of bed.....

....so how is Kendall doing? She has had a rough weekend. Filled with not eating or drinking anything and not having the energy to move around. She didn't run a fever or anything but was just.....tired. I was worried because she wasn't eating or drinking and I would constantly be trying to give her something. She would politely smile at me and say...no thank you. I didn't find any new hobbies or interests, I just calmly sat in the living room listening out for her to call me. I started reading a couple of different books, but Tammy knows I never finish them, I just start them. Kendall did start to stir around a little bit on Sunday and began to eat a little....and it was very little.

Kendall had a doctors appointment this morning for labwork. Her energy level was better than Sunday and she was eating more and even drinking more. She is at day 6 of treatment and I didn't think she would need blood by the way she was feeling, but she is at day 6 which is usually time for a blood transfusion. But I was right, she didn't need any. Her white blood count was at 0.1, which is really low this early but Kendall was in good spirits. She even started wearing her mask without me even having to remind her. I'm beginning to think that she don't need me anymore because she's been through so much it's almost like routine to her. Kendall doesn't have to go back until Wednesday and I'm sure she will have to have blood and/or platelets by then.

I know some mornings when I get up it's like routine to me. I go through the motions day after day without taking time to do what's really important. To take the time to thank God for the opportunity. The opportunity to care....to laugh....to cry...and to love. I've often talked about things that refer to Gods plan for the future and how it will turn out...His way. But tonight I want to take the time....the opportunity to thank him for the things in my life today. For the opportunity to live each day pleasing God. I know that some days I probably don't please God as much as other days. But I thank him for the opportunity.

Colossians 4:5-6
Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Round and Round We Go.....

2010-02-04T11:42:00.004-06:00

Days 1 and 2 are in the books. Kendall has finished two or her three days of chemo this week and we are fixing to tackle day three. This treatment had the extra drug in in and Kendall has been so worried that it was going to make her sick. She was right.....it did. She went through the chills, the fever, the nausea and the pain the whole night. And she wasn't through. Chemo ran until 3am that morning. Most of all the symptoms happened while we were still at the hospital and the nurse took very good care of her. Every time Kendall moved, the nurse was there to help. When we got to the apartment, Kendall went straight to bed. She slept until the next day of chemo. So back to the hospital we go. By now she was feeling a little better and the hospital wasn't crowded at all. We went right in and she started chemo. It was now time for Grey's Anatomy. That's all she likes to watch on tv so it felt like we watched all of one season. Back to the apartment and Kendall went to sleep. I feel like we are either at the hospital or trying to catch up on sleep. One would think that after 6 months of this it would surely ease up. Sometimes I think it's getting harder for Kendall. Her body falls down quicker and it takes longer for her to recover. While she's having chemo, she stays so tired. But somehow, she presses on and wants to keep going. Some days I feel like I have to drag her to the hospital but she is so looking forward to the end of the tunnel.....

....So now we're back from day 3 and wait on the blood transfusions. By day 6 she will be needing blood and platelets. It's scary sometimes to think that I know all of this. Six months ago seems like an eternity. How much in the dark I was about this. Well, not going to go through all of that now. I'll wait until next month to do that.

2 Corinthians 5:7
We live by faith, not by sight

Rounding Third

2010-02-01T20:59:00.002-06:00

Well, back at it. Kendall and me flew back in to Houston on Sunday night to start the next round. Two more. I told her it was like rounding third and heading home. She didn't think that was funny. Kendall was able to spend another week at home trying to be normal. For the most part she did really good. She hasn't had much of an appetite this past month but started to eat better this past week. Her energy level was really good. She was able to get out and do a lot this week. I still worry about her being out by herself. She tells me I'm paranoid but I can't help it.

We had a visit with the doctor today and got the green light to start. Her white blood count was down a little and was in discussion about whether or not to wait a few more days to start. Kendall didn't say anything but I could tell that a decision to delay would not make for very pleasant conversation around the apartment. But the doctor said she was good to go so we dropped that discussion as quick as it came up. So we left the hospital knowing that the next few days of chemo are going to be tough because the doctor said her bone marrow is not recovering as well as it has been. We'll just take it one day at a time and everything should be fine.

ALMOST THROUGH

2010-01-22T06:55:00.002-06:00

Kendall and Tammy are getting to come home tonight. Kendall has a doctor's appointment this morning and should be able to catch their flight home tonight. Kendall has done really well this past week. A few times where she was not feeling good, but mostly was very upbeat. I called her one night and she sounded like she was having way too much fun. Her blood levels have recovered nicely and are higher than they have been the last couple of treatments. Maybe her body is working harder knowing that she is almost through. This had been a hard month for me. Working long hours and little time with the family. So I'm really looking forward to the mini reunion tonight. I'm sure Kendall will be non stop, full of things to do while she is here. She has to be back at the end of the month to start her next round of chemo. Wow! cant believe it's already down to just two left. Tammy did say that I wouldn't recognize Kendall because her hair has began to grow in really thick. I know Kendall is looking forward to family and friends and can't wait to see everyone.

Proverbs 2:11
Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

Waiting...Listening...Hearing!

2010-01-13T21:00:00.003-06:00

Have you ever stopped and looked back at how fast time REALLY moves. It's already been a week since my last post. Since then the road to recovery has been really hard for Kendall. She continues to struggle through this round of chemotherapy. I talk to her every day and even though I can't see her facial expressions, I can tell that she doesn't feel well. The chemo has really taken it out of her this time. They seem to be getting harder for her every time. She has not been eating very well and doesn't have the energy to do a whole lot. Tammy said she had a hard time going to the doctor today. Her levels were very low today. She had to get 2 units of blood and 2 units of platelets. Tammy said that her color came back a little today after the blood transfusion. As with every treatment, she has always fought back and continues to do so this time. Her schedule is starting to run behind though as her body slowly heals back. Kendall said she is determined to get through the next couple of rounds so she can come home for good. One day at a time seems to be running into weeks. It's all going by so fast, yet sometimes during the day I don't think I will ever get to see the day come to an end.

It's been so cold in Gardendale lately, we don't get out but to go to work or school. Plus, with Tammy and Kendall in Houston, it makes for long nights. Dylan and me have been good. The house isn't a disaster and we are managing to do homework, wash clothes and make dinner. What more can you ask for.

We still aren't sure when Kendall will try and make a trip home after this treatment. With the schedule running behind, it's harder to try and plan anything. Over the next week, we should be able to firm things up. Although we know that everything can change on a moments notice. We have at least adapted to that.

Tammy is holding up alright. She does tell me though that it's hard out there when Kendall is sick. But Tammy has plenty of puzzles that occupy her time. Well, now I'm just rambling so I'll just say thank you for thinking of Kendall and we appreciate all of you more than you know.

Job 32:11
I waited while you spoke, I listened to your reasoning; while you were searching for words,

I do that alot...waiting...listening...and understanding...trying to understand what has happened in the past 5 months. I could name a ton of important stuff that has happened in the past 5 months, but probably everyone would forget in the next 5 months. The things that I choose to mention are the love for my family, the warmth from our friends and the faith from God above.

Just a Post, No Title

2010-01-06T06:41:00.002-06:00

Is it not normal to assume that the more you do something the easier it becomes to do? That as you develop a routine or a pattern in your life, that you get better at it. Well....this was not the case this past Sunday as Dylan and I came back home from Houston. Kendall was at the hospital starting her chemo. As the time drew near for us to go I could tell by Kendall's facial expression that this was not going to be an easy goodbye. I went to hug her and felt her tears fall on my arm. It was almost more than I could handle. I told her that it's almost over and that she will be home soon. I didn't want to let go because now, I once again felt like I was helpless. She told me she would be ok and to go. I did manage to leave the room before my tears began to fall. I quickly wiped my eyes before I met Tammy and Dylan in the lobby.

Dylan and me caught a cab to take us to the airport and as we pulled away I saw Tammy standing on the second floor lobby waving goodbye. This is that part of not getting any easier. It gets harder. But Dylan was excited, this was his first cab ride. And was he ever excited. He watched in amazement as we winded through Houston to the airport. Not only was this his first cab ride but his first airplane ride. We went through check in ok and then boarded the plane. He sat in the window seat and could not have made his smile any wider. He was bouncing around and I had to tell him to be still. The trip was smooth, no bumps and Dylan said from now on that's how he wants to travel...is by plane.

Kendall finished up her treatments and is now settling in for the recovery part. She was not feeling good the first couple of days but started feeling a little better last night. I hope this part of it is easier for Tammy and Kendall this time. I still can't help but worry about both of them, though.

Dylan and I will have a chance to bond some more with his new Christmas present that Santa brought him.....so Chase...all I can say is "game on". We also will get a chance to enjoy this cold weather for a change...maybe it will snow in Gardendale this time.

1 John 4:18
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... "

Happy New Year!!!

2010-01-01T14:37:00.002-06:00

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. As I try and catch you up with Kendall, I also want to thank you for everything you have done for Kendall and our family during this time. The holidays was even more of an opportunity to spend time with family, friends and loved ones.

Kendall, Tammy, Dyan and myself made the long drive back out to Houston on December 30th. Kendall was able to spend Christmas and her birthday at home. Which is what she wanted. She was constantly on the go. But her blood counts and energy level were good so she was able to do a lot. None of us were looking forward to the long drive. But Kendall was a little anxious to get started so she can be through. Dlyan is still out of school so what better way than to bring in the new year than in Houston. Ok, so I can think of several things that would be better than having to be in Houston,but we were all together.

Kendall did her blood lab workup on New Years Eve and everything is fine. Everything has about returned to normal. We were able to clear up some confusion about the remainder of Kendall's stay. Is it 6 treatments or 7 treatments......well it's both. It's 6 consolidation treatments with 1 induction treatment for a total of 7. So Kendall will have to be out here for another month or so taking it to late March for her treatments to be through.

Tammy is going to stay out here with Kendall for the next round so I can be home with Dylan for a while. Besides, I told Kendall that she could no longer be in the bald club unless she cuts her hair. Her hair has started growing in really thick now and I was feeling lonely because she could now brush her hair and I still could not. I guess I really noticed it on her birthday. I had went to work that day and when I got home, I went in her room to see how her day had went. I looked at her and noticed that she had "fixed" her hair. It was brushed down. It was beautiful. Those eyes were so big and bold and she was glowing with her smile. I could tell she was really excited that she was able to "fix" her hair.

Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Home For The Holidays

2009-12-21T06:48:00.003-06:00

I know it's been a few days since I've updated everyone, so I wanted to let you know that Kendall and I drove back in to Gardendale on Friday night. We got home around 3:30am in the morning. This drive was really hard to do. Traffic was terrible. We had a Christmas party at 10:00am so there wasn't much room for sleep.

Kendall is feeling really good right now. Her levels are up and she should be able to enjoy Christmas and her birthday. We have to leave on December 30 to go back to Houston. We all are going to go to experience a New Year together. Not too much going on the rest of the week. I will give some updates if anything should change and post again in a few days. I have to get ready to go back to work today. God Bless each one of you.

Thy Neighbor

2009-12-16T12:11:00.003-06:00

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Kendall and her journey. How much it has affected her life...our lives...the life of others. And...life...is what it affects.

Kendall's doctor appointments this week have all been good reports. The MRI reports that the tumors are 99% gone. Her blast cells are at 3%, still good enough to be considered in remission. And the physical pain is almost all but gone, with the exception of certain procedures she is still having. Kendall's doctor said she can home this weekend and not have to return until December 30. So Kendall will be able to spend Christmas and her birthday at HOME...with family and friends. That leaves her with just two more treatment cycles to go...January and February. Hopefully after that, Kendall will be healthy enough to come home for good....minus the repeated trips back out to Houston for follow-up testing. But Kendall is ready to move forward and finish strong.

The last couple of months have been very hard, physically and emotionally for Kendall. Still she remains dedicated to get through this. Don't get me wrong, there have been some MOMENTS to where I didn't know how we were going to get through it. But we have. And we continue to fight as long as it may take.

I read some literature at the hospital over the last couple of weeks and there was one certain question that kept coming up. The question was, "Where is God in all of this?" I read the the responses in their literature but have come up with my own version of where He is. I have heard about God for my entire life. I have been to church. I have been to Sunday school. I have been to all the programs that the church has to get one acquainted with God. I have been Saved. I have been Baptised. But for some reason, God has always been to me....more like the next door neighbor that you occasionally see. They're always there, but you don't always acknowledge it like you should. Since Kendall's journey has begun, it has helped me to start a new renewed relationship with God. I have opened my doors to the neighbor. I have invited Him into my home...into my life. It's a relationship that I have wanted for a long time. Everyone deals with it in their own way and I don't know that any one way is better than another. But I for one am excited about my neighbor. Am I the perfect neighbor? Well, no. But I do enjoy trying to be better every day.

What does that have to do with Kendall's journey, well I don't know. But when I look at her, knowing what she has to go through and face every day, it helps to give me strength to be the person...the Godly person...that God wants me to be. It helps me be the better person that Kendall may want me to be.

Kendall has one more appointment this week and that is on Friday. She has blood work and a lumbar puncture that afternoon. After that, we plan on driving home for the holidays. Can't wait to see everyone and enjoy your company.

Luke 10:27
He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

Adventure's In Houston

2009-12-09T19:38:00.003-06:00

Well those two days sure did go by fast. Kendall has been feeling really good. I've had her up and moving around and even took an exploration around Houston. I wouldn't dare say it but Kendall says we were lost. But we ended up at the Bass Pro Shops and I told her that was exactly where I was taking her. Somehow I don't think she believed me. But we had a good couple of off days anyway.

Kendall has a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood work and a checkup. I'm hoping that since her energy level has increased some over the last couple of days that she won't need any platelets. I even told her that since she doesn't have another appointment until Tuesday, that I would bring her home for the weekend. So we will be driving in late tomorrow night or by Friday, as long as everything goes well at the doctor. We meet the doctor again next week to find out our Christmas schedule and how long she can stay home for the holidays, before she starts the next round.

Psalm 105:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

Monday Can Be A Good Day

2009-12-07T16:44:00.002-06:00

Who said Monday's aren't good days. Today was a really good day for Kendall. We went to the doctor first thing this morning for blood work. We even got the results back really fast. Her counts are on the way up. Her white blood cells are coming up the fastest. She still needed platelets, but even they were beginning to improve. Kendall had a lumbar puncture scheduled for tomorrow but the doctor said she could have it done today so we can have a free day tomorrow. The procedure went really smooth and no pain. So now we don't have to go back to the doctor until Thursday. After that, if all is still good, Kendall and me are going to take a weekend trip. We thought we would pop in on Gardendale for the weekend and surprise everyone but Kendall let that out of the bag last night. But we are still excited to get a weekend trip. I know its a lot of driving for the weekend, but Kendall has had a hard week and I told her we could do whatever she wanted to do.

We didn't do much over the weekend. Kendall hasn't been sleeping well, which causes me not to sleep well. We stayed around the apartment, watched Alabama play football on Saturday and managed to clean up a little. Wow! What excitement. Who am I kidding, we had fun. We even made it to a movie.

....Somethings go without being said, but sometimes things need to be said. No matter how hard they are to say. Both parties share an equal hurt and pain. Pain that comes from having to hear the truth. Why does the truth hurt sometimes. Nobody wants to be hurt. Whether your on the giving or receiving end of it. But it doesn't mean that love is gone. It means that love is stronger, stronger than it has ever been. Some of the hardest times we are having to go through are having to say the truth. Truth knowing that it brings pain. Pain knowing that it hurts someone I love. And love....love knowing that it will always be there.

John 14:26
The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

Snow Is Falling

2009-12-04T12:18:00.002-06:00

Thursday came and went so fast, I don't know what happened. We went to the doctor first thing Thursday for blood work. Kendall's counts were improving a little but still not as fast as they have been. Her white blood cells doubled to .6 which is still not very good but at least it's on the way up. Kendall had to have platelets so we were able to spend the day at the hospital. So much fun!!! Hopefully this should be the last time she receives blood for this cycle. We went back to the apartment and Kendall took a nap. She has been having some pain over the last couple of days. Kendall stayed in bed the rest of the night except when I had her watch the Gardendale Christmas Parade with me on the internet. Someone had posted a live internet feed to watch it. I really missed being there this year. This is the first parade I have ever missed. I'm usually working the parade at an intersection. I love the parades but am glad I got to see it.

So I wake up this morning to snow falling. Can you believe it, snow in Houston? Been snowing all morning and still snowing hard right now. Don't think it's sticking though, the ground is too warm. I ran and got Kendall out of bed and she was excited for about 3 minutes and then went back to bed. Maybe the snow will work its way to Birmingham. I know Dylan wants to see some snow really bad.

The doctor called this morning and we talked about Kendall's schedule for the holidays. They don't want to postpone her treatment for too long but it looks like we will be home for Christmas and most likely for her birthday. That's of course still under draft but that's what we're hoping for. Kendall is very excited about that but then she will probably be receiving chemo during the New Years holiday.

I'm gonna get Kendall out to the grocery store after while and maybe a trip to Walmart to walk around. Nothing other than that so she can be rested for the big game tomorrow.

John 8:12
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

Plans Are MadeTo Be Broken

2009-12-02T15:37:00.002-06:00

One thing is for sure, that if we try and make plans....they always change. Kendall had a plan yesterday to be in and out at the doctors office and then to do some things around the apartment. Well, after spending all morning checking her blood, she was a few quarts low again. Back to the infusion center where she received another 2 units of blood and 6 units of platelets. I think everyone had the same idea....because the hospital was packed. After it was all said and done, it was about 1:30am when we got back to the apartment. We did watch a movie while we were there, but mostly listened to the tv from the other room because it was so loud. It wasn't so bad except that it was in a foreign language and we couldn't understand it.

Kendall has slept most of the day today. She has eaten a little but not much. Me, I haven't done to much except clean up. I can't stop cleaning. I know, Tammy probably wishes I was home while I'm in cleaning mode. Who knows, it may carry over a few weeks.

2 Corinthians 1:12
Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to worldly wisdom but according to God's grace.

As I continue to learn about my growing relationship with God, I strongly believe that with His help, my plans will always be changing...... for God's grace.

A Better Day

2009-11-30T22:54:00.002-06:00

Today was an amazing show of strength by Kendall as she continued that good feeling towards the journey's end. Kendall went from not having strength enough to walk or hold her head up to defying to get in the wheelchair and proudly displaying her smile no matter where we went today.

We started off by a doctors visit for blood work. Her levels were better with the help of all the blood she received the day before. And being the Monday after the holiday, it was very crowded. We spent 4 hours there today. After that, Kendall wanted to go to Hobby Lobby to look around. So off we went. She looked at scrap booking stuff while I shopped for a Christmas tree. I told her we might as well put a tree up to enjoy while we're here. It's only a 3 foot table top tree but it has lights and Kendall found us some ornaments to paint and put together for it. It should make for a nice little addition to the apartment. Tammy and I put up our Christmas tree at the house after Thanksgiving and her and Dylan put on the ornaments last night.

We went back to the apartment after our Hobby Lobby trip and decided to take a nap. Kendall did anyway. She was beginning to look a little tired and besides, I don't want her to use all that blood at once. She needs to save a little to spread out over the next couple of days. Other than that, we spent the rest of the night inside watching tv or movies.

We have to go back to the doctor again in the morning to check her blood. Then we should get a break until Thursday. She sure was ready to start the day today after she got up.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Holiday Blues

2009-11-29T22:01:00.003-06:00

Kendall and I arrived back in Houston on Saturday night. It was after 9pm before we got back to the apartment. Kendall was tired and went straight to bed. I stayed up a little while to try and familiarize myself with the apartment again. I know I haven't been gone too long but still, I wanted to make sure everything was where I had left it. I knew I wouldn't have much of a chance for the next day or so. Kendall had to be at the doctor first thing Saturday morning.

Saturday morning, around 7:30am, I pulled into the parking lot of MD Anderson hospital. I was hoping that we never had to see it again. But Kendall's almost through with only two more treatments to go. We went to the lab for them to draw Kendall's blood. I felt like the results were going to be low and that she was assured to get a blood transfusion. After 2 long hours and the lab having to run the blood twice, I was right. The lab said they ran the blood work again to make sure the numbers were not an error because they were so low. Her platelets were at a 3. Normal range according to the lab are in the 150's. So they whisked us to the transfusion room where we began the long day of Kendall receiving blood. She received 6 units of platelets and 3 units of whole blood. I then watched Kendall slowly rejuvenate as the blood went into her body. Her color began to show, her conversation become longer than yeah or whatever and her appetite increased. I knew she was better when she began asking me to go get her something to eat.

While all of these improvements were being made, her temperature also started to increase. It came very close to that magic number of 101. It actually got to 100.8 for a couple of hours. I started making sure she was drinking more water and it also began to drop. An ER trip was all she needed now. Well, for now we have avoided that. As we were leaving the hospital, she asked if we could go to Burger King to get something to eat. Appetite is good! Very Good! She always does real good when she has an appetite.

So another 14 hour day at the hospital in the books. Kendall sure did break me in quick. No time to settle in or anything. The only thing I need to do is straighten out the stuff at the apartment that Tammy moved on me. I'll have it straight by tomorrow. Not sure of a coming home time yet. Surely over the next week it will lay itself out so we can plan on her next trip home.

I have said it before and I will say it again, patience is a constant struggle with me. I am continually working to improve it. Sometimes God shows us the time table he is working with and it doesn't always have the same time as my watch shows. I continue to go through the bible, looking for ways to deal with somebody else's time table. It's always there, I always find something......it's just up to me to look.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Internet Down!

2009-11-24T18:54:00.002-06:00

What did we ever do without the Internet? How lifestyles have changed over the years. I have felt so helpless with the internet down, I have had to find things to do. Anyway.....

Kendall has finished her next round of chemo and so far, things have been well for her. No fevers and mild sickness. Tammy has been doing really well out there, except for missing me. I'm proud of both of them, they have done really good.

As Kendall continues her journey, she must again endure another hurdle. Her father, Keith passed away this week. She will be flying home on Thursday so that she can attend his funeral. Unfortunately, she will have to fly back on Saturday after the funeral. She is right in the middle of her lowest point during treatment and will need a blood transfusion by the end of the week. I will be going back with her this time for the remainder of her treatment. If all goes well, we should be back before Christmas.

As this week has began to unfold, I can't imagine how Kendall begins to find the strength to finish the treatments. Yet, she does. Not only Kendall, but Whitney and Bragan and the rest of Keith's family. All of this has been so hard to deal with for everyone. I know that God is out there and that he loves us. No one said that life was going to be easy, and if they did, they were wrong. But we all continue to move in a direction that will give us grace...that will give us peace...and that will give us mercy.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Here We Go Again

2009-11-17T21:52:00.002-06:00

I took Kendall and Tammy to the airport on Monday and had to watch them leave again. I was going to post on Monday but I figured I would wait until tonight to let you know how her blood tests went. Kendall is ready to get started with her next round of chemo. The doctors said that Kendall can start so they're going to start Wednesday. Kendall's liver enzymes are still are little high and they're going to have to watch them alot closer but they feel like they can control them. As far as Kendall, she is feeling alright. A little tired but doing rather well and ready to continue her journey. I hope that this round goes smoother than the last one. With Tammy being there it will probably go without any setbacks. I'm gonna keep it short tonight but will try and keep you updated a little better now that I have settled in to work. I didn't know that you could pile up so much on a desk. Anyway....thank you for continuing to think about Kendall during her journey and as always...you are in our thoughts and prayers as well.....

1 Corinthians 3:16
"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?"

Is Normal Back?

2009-11-10T21:04:00.006-06:00

What a week! And it's only Tuesday. Kendall and Tammy came home today from MD Anderson. I couldn't wait to pick them up from the airport. It's like I haven't seen them in months, when in reality it's only been a little over a week. Kendall came home because her body is not ready to handle another treatment yet. The doctors feel like some extended rest at home for a week will allow her to rebuild her blood cells.

This past week has been more difficult for me than I thought it would be. I went back to work and did I have so much to catch up on. It was good to see everybody at work. But I do admit, my mind wasn't there for the first couple of days. I would often find myself wondering what Kendall and Tammy were doing. How was she feeling, was anything wrong, is there something I need to be doing. As the week passed and this week began, I found myself falling back into my routine, Me and Dylan were bonding. Hasso began to remember me. But I still had an empty feeling and became sad every time I talked to Kendall or Tammy. Of course I couldn't let them know how bad I felt, but now that they're at home, I guess it's ok. I'm tired of changing life styles and want normal again. Knowing that it won't be normal for a long time.

In many of my conversations with Kendall, I did begin to notice a stronger Kendall emerging from the bad month we had with the last treatment. Kendall began to want to do the treatment and was ready to go. Much like she was at the beginning of her journey. Her positive attitude helped me get through some tough nights without them. And Dylan was very "mature" with me as I noticed how much he has grown over the last few months. I hate to think that I have missed the last few months of his young childlike demeanor. He's a teenager now and I seemed to have missed the transition. We have spent a lot of time together though this week and it has been nice. He still does love me. My little boy is so grown up.

I don't know what the next few days will have in store for Kendall or us, but I will enjoy every minute that I have to spend with my family. If it's one thing I've learned, it's to really enjoy the time you spend with loved ones. The week will go by fast and I once again will be without Kendall and Tammy as they make their way back to Houston to finish Kendall's treatment.

During this past week since Kendall and Tammy has left, I find myself somewhat lost and confused. The emotions I feel have been turning over so fast and I get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I need some guidance and direction and I feel my heart race. So...I listen.....

Job 37:1-2
At this my heart pounds
and leaps from its place.
Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice,
to the rumbling that comes from his mouth.

There Will Be Rain Delays

2009-11-05T19:28:00.002-06:00

Writing tonight doesn't seem the same because I can only tell you what Tammy tells me. I know she probably tells me everything but it's not the same. Well, here goes. Kendall won't be getting her next round of chemotherapy right now. Her blood levels are still too low and her body is not ready to handle it yet. She's having a few other minor problems but the doctors feel like she needs a little longer break. She has a few more tests to go through on Monday and we are looking for her to come back home on Tuesday. We will know more next week but as of now, thats the plan. But we all know how plans can change.

Tammy assured me that this is not a bad thing. Kendall will get a chance to get some more rest and we will get a chance to bring our family closer together by being together. Even the doctors said it would be good for Kendall to get some more rest. I still can't help but think about how this may knock us around a little bit more. It makes me dig even deeper into the words, wisdom and comfort of God. I myself feel as if I was knocked around this last time and need to do more to trust...to follow..to guide..to lead...and to love.

Matthew 7:24-25
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

A Lot to Catch Up On

2009-11-03T20:33:00.002-06:00

I begin to think about what I was going to tell you tonight and realized that it has been several days since my last post. To start with, we did make the trip to Gardendale and have had a wonderful time visiting with all of our family and friends. Kendall was really energized about the visit. I hope it will last her enough to make it until the next trip home.

As you know, this past month was a really hard month for Kendall. She struggled more this last treatment than most of all the treatments. She fought through it and is now back in Houston ready for another round. I am staying in Gardendale this treatment to catch up on things as Tammy will continue with Kendall in Houston

Kendall and Tammy flew back into Houston today. I took them to the airport this morning to catch an early flight. Kendall has several appointments today before she meets with the doctor on Thursday. As we got out of the car today at the airport..it really hit me that I wasn't going with her. I have not left her side since the beginning, so today has been very hard for me. I know Tammy will do a wonderful job taking care of her...but still...it was a hard day for me. I hugged and kissed them both by..and then had to get in the car to leave so they wouldn't see me cry. I know, I know...I cry alot...alot! I kept looking at my phone all day thinking that I missed a call from them. Wondering what they were doing. Then Tammy called to tell me they landed in Houston. TWO HOURS...two hours is all they have been gone. I can't stand it.

I went to work and tried to stay bust to keep my mind off of what they were doing next. Tammy then called to tell me that the blood results were in. They were low. Not at all what we thought they were going to be. Her platelets had actually dropped from what they were on Friday. Still, they were ok enough for Kendall to have her Bone Marrow Aspiration. Don't know the results of that until Thursday. Now will be just waiting... where to go and what to do next.

I took an online bible quiz tonight to help me find a suitable verse for the day. You'll never guess which one they recommended.
Only our favorite:

Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

This next treatment cycle is going to be hard for Kendall. Probably going to get harder from here on out. But I know that God gives us the strength and I know that Kendall has God on her side. I really do like that verse!

I Gotta Feeling

2009-10-29T20:25:00.003-05:00

I gotta feeling that tomorrow we will be on a plane headed home. That's the plan anyway. Kendall has a doctors appointment in the morning to check her blood levels. If all goes as expected, we should be back that afternoon. Kendall has felt better today which is, I hope, a sign that her blood is recovering. This has been a rough month for her. In the hospital, twice, and her body taking a big hit by not recovering as easy as she has in the past. She still is very tired and there probably won't be a lot of activity this weekend but it is a much needed trip home.

There's so much more I want to say but right now I'm just going to leave it at this. We do thank all of our friends and family for keeping us in your prayers and thoughts. It's nice to feel the warmth of love pouring over us as we struggle to make the best out of all of this.

2 Tim 3:16
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

To this date, I continue to believe in this. For this is where I need to be....

The Path Is Still Here

2009-10-27T21:12:00.004-05:00

How things change every day. Kendall was able to leave the hospital today and was she glad. Tammy and me too. They had to put her on some IV antibiotics so I'll be hooking her up for the next 8 days. We all should rest a little easier now that we're out of there. Kendall was also able to have a little recovery of her white blood cells. They are at 0.1 now instead of zero. Not a lot but it is a start. The rest of her levels are still really low and it may delay our trip home by a few days until they can recover more. But she is still looking forward to a few days at the house before the next cycle.

While Kendall's journey to me is very close at heart, I realize that she is not the only one having to go through this. There have been people before her that have faced the same journey. And that there will be people after her that will also face a journey similar to hers. At times, this journey that I watch is almost too much to handle. I often tell myself how can people go through this and make it out ok. I have talked to people that have lived through a journey and are now living a miracle. One of these people was BJ Green. I have not personally talked to BJ but I have read his journey and have spoken to his dad about things. Remarkable. It gives me hope that they are still able to talk passionately about their experiences and share them not only with Kendall but also with me. I pray that I may be strong through this and share with you as well.

At the very beginning of Kendall's journey, I could not tell you hardly anything about Leukemia, much less AML t8;21, Kendall's diagnosis. But only 3 months in...frankly I know more than I would normally care to know about. Every day is a training day and it keeps getting worse. There are lights shining at the end of some of the tunnels, but just the knowledge of this has brought me sorrow...grief...pain. It's also brought me love...family strength...and closer to God.

Ecclesiastes 1:9
What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:18
For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

HE Continues To Amaze Me

2009-10-25T21:35:00.003-05:00

Day by day, hour by hour, we can see the improvements that Kendall's body is making. She had an amazing day today as she slowly recovers from her infection. I can tell you, that these last few days have been a continued struggle to watch Kendall. One by one, I watched as the doctors and nurses attacked each symptom Kendall had. It was a coordinated effort to bring back the smile and laughter that Kendall displays. Having Tammy here has surely helped make this happen.

Kendall still has the infection but is healing up nicely. She is almost back to her normal self. We're still not sure how long she is going to have to stay in the hospital. The doctor said that she is going to slowly reduce the medication to Kendall as she recovers. Once she is at a safe level, she will get to leave. Kendall received another blood transfusion and platelets today as her counts are not recovering as fast as they have in the previous treatments. Kendall has not had a fever all day today which was very good news considering how high it was the last few days.

I've had a chance this afternoon to reflect back over the last couple of days and realize how scared I was going through this. So scared to the point where I didn't sleep for several days wondering what was going to happen next. I was becoming angry at the very people that were trying to help us because I didn't think it was enough. I didn't feel like they were doing everything possible to help Kendall. But they are. They have taken good care of her and continue to do so. God continues to show me how good HE can be. He shows me through the care of the doctors and nurses. He shows me through the love and support of family and friends. And He shows me through the smile and laughter that Kendall brings.

Psalm 68:9
You gave abundant showers, O God;
you refreshed your weary inheritance.

Grace......

2009-10-24T15:21:00.002-05:00

Making our way through each day has become filled with so much emotion, there is not any more room to do anything else. Sitting here not knowing what is causing Kendall's fever and why it remains high has become the new mystery novel of the day. Kendall is still in the hospital with a high fever. The pain is very evident in her face that things are not as they should be. We were able to find out that the blood cultures are positive for an infection. Not sure what type yet. We think we've narrowed it down to last week when her platelets dropped so low that we had to go to the emergency room. She has become consistently worse since we arrived to the apartment after that trip.

Kendall has slept almost the entire time we have been here. She hasn't eaten or drank anything very much. Kendall has times when she is up for a little while but is still really tired. Tammy flew out last night to be with us. I know she was glad to see Kendall, just not in this shape. Tammy stayed with Kendall overnight at the hospital and they told me to go back to the apartment to rest. I didn't get much rest. Actually I think I rested better at the hospital. At least I could keep an eye on Kendall.

Kendall is on antibiotics and other kinds of medication. The doctors are keeping a close watch on her. For now, that's all we can do is be patient with the doctors. I have tried to be good with them but you know I don't have any patience when it comes to Kendall's care. This is really the first time Kendall has become really sick. She has had a few bad days but nothing like this. For now, we will wait on the medicine to take effect and hope that Kendall's body adjusts.

Luke 2:40
And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

Roller Coaster Returns

2009-10-22T19:55:00.003-05:00

Ok..Ok..Ok..back on that dreaded roller coaster ride we go. Any more than one day at a time would really be more than anyone could handle. As quick as Kendall climbed up from the last hospital trip, the faster she landed back in the emergency room. Wednesday night, Kendall's fever went to 102.2 degrees F. She started feeling bad after she had her lumbar puncture. Kendall's eyes told me the rest of the story. They were watery and red, her face was real flush and her skin was hot to the touch. Around 10:30pm, I took her to the emergency room. The official temperature of the ER was also 102.2. That bought her a bed. The doctor came in and the tests began. Blood work, chest x-rays and blood pressure. Kendall was so tired she layed down and slept most of the night. Her fever at one point rose to just over 103F. Thursday morning was filled with the same excitement as the night before. Kendall tried to sleep as her fever bounced around between 100 to 104 all morning. I nervously sat there watching her struggle with the fever. I know the nurses were probably glad to see me go today as I was dragging them back to Kendall's room every 15 minutes to check on her. That was all I could do is make sure they were there to help her. I know they were patient with me and would always tell me that they would take care of her.

They were able to get us into a room on the Leukemia floor. You have to wear the bootys and the gown to enter the floor. Yellow is not my color. Kendall continues with the fever as they put antibiotics and fluids in her. I imagine tonight will be as eventful as last night. Maybe the both of us can get some rest tonight.

Tomorrow, hopefully the doctor can give us some better news about Kendall. Until then, we will just be quiet and stay cool.

New Slideshow

2009-10-21T00:36:00.001-05:00

Finally posted the new slideshow of Kendall's 1st Trip Home. Hope you like it.

Back On Course

2009-10-20T20:22:00.003-05:00

Ecclesiastes 1:6
The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

Back on course is where we're at. The last couple of days have been really rough. I last wrote when we were in the emergency room with Kendall. We finally made it back to the apartment about 6:30am that morning. We then had to turn around and go back for another appointment and was there most of that day. Kendall is doing a lot better. I guess you really do need blood, huh. Kendall returned to normal as the blood worked itself back into her body. She has been really tired but has managed to make all the appointments that they have scheduled for her. We go back in the morning to check her blood work and will probably end up having to get blood one more time. She's also scheduled to have a lumbar puncture with chemo. She was able to sleep alot today and I feel like she has almost caught up with it. Her appetite is also getting better as she wanted me to cook tonight, so I did. Taco salad.

We met with a stem cell transplant team today. It was an Introduction to Stem Cell. Kendall thought, great...I feel like we're going to class. And, that's about what it was, several people gave a presentation on stem cell transplant. Wow, there's really a lot there to learn. As of right now, Kendall is not having stem cell transplant but the doctor's felt like we needed to understand a little about it in case Kendall were to have a relapse. It's a long process and takes several months to prepare for it. Better to be ahead in the game so we don't get caught up in a rush again like we did the first time. They gave us a lot of reading material and I'll have to say that I have been doing a little reading on it already.

These last few days have really been hard on Kendall. They've been hard on me. I know they have been hard on Tammy and the rest of the family. But know, we are very thankful to our family and friends who have been supporting us. You really do mean a lot to us and it feels good to know that you are there. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers and all that you have done for Kendall. God Bless You, God Bless All Of You.

Happy Birthday Tammy

2009-10-19T00:02:00.003-05:00

The atmosphere here in the emergency room is not the same at the apartment. Yes, the emergency room. Kendall had some problems today with bleeding. She also started showing some blood spots on her arms and face. I made a call to the doctor and she said that Kendall's platelet counts were probably really low and that she possibly needed some blood and platelets. She advised us to go to the emergency room at MD Anderson to get treated. So that's what we did. And...the doctor was right. Kendall's platelet count was very low. The lowest they have ever been. I wasn't expecting them to drop again until sometime this next week, especially since Kendall just received blood and platelets on Friday. The nurse at the emergency room hooked Kendall up to an iv and told her that she will be getting 6 units of platelets and 2 units of blood. They didn't admit her in the hospital but they did tell us that it will be early in the morning before she is through receiving all the blood. Kendall curled up on the bed as I tried to get comfortable in the chair. Going to be a long night...or morning. Other than all of this, Kendall is doing fine. She has been tired most of the day.

On a brighter note...I want to tell Tammy Happy Birthday! I know I'm not with you but I miss you and wish you were with us. I Love You, Tammy....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Something Committed

2009-10-17T23:08:00.002-05:00

The low numbers are in. Kendall's doctor appointment Friday went as planned that morning. Blood work went smooth and the results came back as expected, LOW. Everything really low. Her white blood cells dropped to 0.1, lower than we thought they would go for day 8 after treatment. The lab actually thought the first tests were wrong so they ran them again. Same number. So Kendall had to get some blood and platelets so she could have a little energy this weekend. Friday night at the hospital. What else would you expect. Not like we had so many other things to do.

Kendall is still sleeping alot. This round has made her really tired. I'm pouring on the pampering, but it's not doing much for her mood. I was able to get her to go out for a little bit today while I ran some errands. I think she was glad as well to get out. Somewhere other than the hospital. After that we settled in, ordered a pizza and watched football.

I know I feel like night after night I talk about the same things as far as how I'm feeling. I've talked about the pain that I see in Kendall but how strong she is to be handling this the way she has. I also talk about how much Faith and Trust in God are important, not only in times like this but also in everyday life. Even in my job as a policeman, there are things that happen that no matter how much you train, it's hard to do. But they have to be done. Looking into your childs face.....tears rolling down their cheeks.....fear in their eyes...and pain..pain all around wondering why she has been chosen to go through this. How do I do it. I'm a physically strong person and can take a lot. But I can not prepare myself for the emotional strain that I feel right now from watching my child feel this way. How do I answer her and how do I know it's the right answer. Fighting off my own tears, I grab her and place my arms around her. I tell her that she has made the first half of her journey. I tell her that we are going to get to go home again for a few days. I then tell her that I love her, her family loves her and her friends love her. I can only tell her things that I know will make her feel better. I tell her to trust..to believe..

Exodus 4:4
Then the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand.

...trust can hurt, trust can heal, trust can be given, trust can be earned..no matter what part of trust I am at, it is a part of me. I do place my trust in Him, no matter how bad the pain gets...I trust that the healing comes..I trust that the love will remain..I trust that the laughter will stay.

Doctors Orders

2009-10-15T21:16:00.002-05:00

Rest..relaxing...and plenty of pampering was the doctors prescription today for Kendall. Kendall followed it word for word today. The pampering part was something I threw on the prescription just for good measure. Kendall did well today. She slept for the most part of the day but her smile had its motor running today. Well...only when Chase called. All I can say is keep doing what your doing Chase, it seems to be working. Kendall would be laying on the couch today, very quite as we watched tv and then I could hear her giggle or see the shine from her smile. I would ask her if it was Chase and she would just grin. She ate a little better tonight, probably because I opened up Chef Sutton's kitchen. She couldn't resist the cooking. No fevers today and so far the prescription has held up.

I called Tammy last night only to find out about the party they were having without us. Whitney, Chad and Karsyn; Brett and Bragan; Dylan; Chase and Emily all had dinner last night. They were all laughing and cutting up when I called. I hated to drag Tammy away from all of that with my phone call. But I am glad that they are looking after Tammy, I know she is having a hard time not being here with us. I feel like the more time that passes the harder it gets for her. I will find that out next month as I stay home and Tammy comes out here. I probably won't be very happy either from missing them. The most important thing right now is keeping the family strong and together.

I've discovered that there is so much to life and that people are important. I know sometimes I feel like I need to be alone to just work through it but it sure feels good to come out from that with the love, care and support from friends and family. And the confidence knowing that God has His arms wrapped around me so tight that it takes my breath away sometimes. I've always heard that maybe tomorrow will be better. Sometimes they are. But what if I don't have a tomorrow. I want that person to know today that I love them today..I want God to know that I love Him today...I'm going to work with what I have today and make the most of it. Each day I find myself asking God if I am pleasing Him today.

I challenge myself to be a loving husband...a caring father...a good son...a giving neighbor and a faithful servant to Him. Kendall's life has forever changed and the challenges she now faces throughout her life will test her strength and her love. I know she will face each of them with courage and attitude. As she fights through her journey, the good and the bad, I pray that she always keeps HIM close.

Let's Make It Manageable

2009-10-14T22:54:00.003-05:00

Having a child become sick is hard for any parent. How much time and attention we take to make sure everything is alright for them and that they have everything they need. We make them comfortable to try and help ease the pain that they are having to endure. Today was one of those days. Kendall didn't feel well today. She has not felt well all day. It started early this morning at the doctors office. I really saw it this morning when she woke up. As beautiful as her eyes are...they were sad today. She could tell a story with those eyes. I tried to do what I could to help her but there really wasn't anything more I could do than to be there for her if she needed me. Even the doctors and nurses were commenting to me about how they hoped that Kendall would start feeling better. Kendall is usually the life of the party around the hospital. They always talk about how much she smiles. Her smile was worn down today as the chemotherapy has taken its toll on her. Her blood levels were really low, low enough that she started wearing the mask again. They dropped really low, really fast this time. And she has been feeling the effects the last few days.

Tomorrow, Kendall has an off day. No appointments, nothing to do and no where to go. I rented some movies so we could watch them as I feel that she won't be far from the couch. I figured that she would be in the bed most of the day, but no...she was in the living room talking to me when she could. A day of rest tomorrow will hopefully help her feel better. She still is not eating very much but is making an effort to eat a little.

The doctor said that if her levels are doing ok that it would be ok for us to make another trip home possibly on the 29th. That would be a good day because it's mine and Tammy's anniversary. It will be good to see Tammy then since I'm going to miss her birthday this month. I'm excited about the neighborhood Halloween party. It sounds like it is shaping up to be quite a gathering.

I know Kendall has had a lot of good days during her journey and we knew that there would possibly be some days that were going to be hard. Taking them one day at a time hopefully will make them be a little more manageable. Even on the hard days I know that God is watching over her and will make sure that she has the strength to get through the day. While Kendall may change from day to day, I realize that the one thing that will remain with us on everyday...that will treat us the same each day...that will always be here for us....is God.

Hebrews 13:8
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

....Amen

Little Debbie is Our Friend

2009-10-13T22:20:00.002-05:00

We are approaching the half way point in Kendall's journey. We finished up her chemotherapy this morning around 1am. We now, again, begin the period of blood monitoring. Hard to believe Kendall has already had three rounds of chemo. Not that I will ever know everything about Leukemia, but I often find myself reading about other people that have had Leukemia and their experiences. I compare how different everyones experience has been. I know about medical issues that I never dreamed of having to know about. I don't know what healthy levels for blood is supposed to be. I didn't know how chemotherapy worked. I can say that at least now when the doctor is talking to me, I at least can understand what they are talking about. Scary, huh? And yet, the learning still continues. We are scheduled to meet with some doctors from Stem Cell Transplant next week and start learning about that. Not that Kendall is having that. But the doctor wants us to know about what is involved with it in case we ever have to go that direction. The more we know now, the better we will be able to help the doctor take care of Kendall.

Kendall has been sleeping alot this past week with her chemo. Except at night when I'm having to change the bag or check her lines to make sure they are working. The visits to Kendall's room all through out the night for the past four days have been really hard. Because we usually had to be at the doctor the next day. Sleep deprivation. Kendall has not had any fevers this week. She hasn't been eating as much as I would like her too but she has been eating a little. I haven't been able to get her back to the gym although she did promise to go walking with me. Gotta start somewhere. It's funny, when I leave to go the gym, she always tells me to be careful and don't get hurt. That she is going to stay behind and keep the couch company. And then what's really funny is her laughing at me when I come back from the gym and the first place I go is the cabinet to get myself a Little Debbie snack cake. I tell her its protein. She rolls her eyes at me and says "Whatever".

At night, I lay in the bed wondering about how tomorrow is going to be. Is it going to be the day that Kendall gets a fever...or gets sick...or has a bad day. I play all this through my head for hours and then something reminds me to say a little prayer or read something out of the bible. After that I can finally go to sleep. One of the verses I read the other night was this....

Deuteronomy 1:29-30
Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes

Let Me Carry It

2009-10-11T23:38:00.004-05:00

JOB 32:8
But it is the spirit in a man,
the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding.

Understanding that Kendall's chemotherapy went well today. Understanding that we miss our family and friends. Understanding that God's breath gives us life. Not understanding why Kendall should have to bear the pain. Give it to me...I'm ready to receive.

Placing Trust Where It Belongs

2009-10-10T23:02:00.003-05:00

Today wasn't so bad. Kendall slept late today from me checking on her through most of the night. She hasn't had much of an appetite either. We watched Auburn today...I was very disappointed by the way...and then got ready to go to the hospital. We went a little early today with the hopes that she may actually get seen on time. And she did. We didn't have to wait today very long before they called her. We did however had to wait after she got in her room. They were about an hour and a half late starting her chemo so that means I have to stay up even later tonight to make sure the chemo pump runs ok. We were only there today for about 4 hours. A lot better than yesterday. We made it back in time to watch more football. I was excited, I'm not so sure Kendall was. But we did watch the Florida / LSU game. I think she has watched about all the football she wanted to today. I think she only watched it because I wanted to. Kendall did eat a little bit more tonight and hasn't been asleep in the last 3-4 hours. She has felt ok tonight as she was a little nauseous this morning. But overall, it has been a good day for her.

I spoke to Dylan several times today and he was still really excited that Gardendale won their football game last night. That's all he talked about. I talked to Tammy today as well and she said she really misses me. I hope so. It has been hard without her here but I know Dylan is glad to have one of us home for a little while. Tammy talked to Kendall today for a while and I think she got upset a little. Don't worry baby, I'm taking care of her and we will hopefully be home in a few weeks. I can't wait and Kendall is already working out a schedule to come home. We will have to wait until the end of this treatment before we can plan anything but hope that all goes well. We have a couple of dates in mind but will see how things work out for her.

Sometimes I forget that Kendall is 19 and very capable of making her on decisions. I still want to jump in and handle everything for her. As a parent, I will always want to express my feelings about what I think is best for her. I always will. But I do want her to make decisions and I trust that the decisions she will make will be right...for her. As I have grown in my relationship with God, especially over the last couple of months...I now place importance on trying to know and understand God. I will never know or understand everything that God does but can only place my faithfulness in Him as I place it in Kendall. All I want is what is best for Kendall...for my family...for my friends...and for God.

Philippians 1:9-10
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,

Patience, again........

2009-10-09T22:48:00.003-05:00

A new record was set today as an out patient for the hospital. Kendall and I arrived at 8am for lab work and to start chemotherapy at 10am. Well...it got started a little late. We got back to the apartment tonight at about 10pm. 14 hours long. That kind of put a whole new meaning to the word patience. What seems to happen on Fridays is that everyone apparently shows up early, whether or not they have an appointment, to get through for the weekend. There were people there at 8am that were telling me that their appointment was not until 3:30, 4:30 or even Saturday, but they wanted to get it over with. So....we waited...for a long time...and some other things happened but...now we are through...until tomorrow. Have to do it all over again. Hopefully it will not be as long tomorrow. I'm just glad we don't have to go while Auburn is playing...

Kendall didn't sleep well last night. She said she couldn't get comfortable. She slept a little while we were at the hospital but I'm sure it wasn't very restful to her. Even though she has been sleeping a lot during the day, she still looks tired. I was able to get her down to the exercise room for a walk on the treadmill yesterday. The doctor said it would be good to get her strength built back up. We'll do it a little at a time until she is able to actually do some jogging or running. You know how much she likes to run. I have to tell her I'll take her to Dairy Queen if she goes for a walk, even if it's on the other side of town.

Kendall still has one more dose of chemo running in a take home bag until about midnight. They said she might start running a fever with this or even have chills or sweating. I will keep a close check on her every hour through the night just to be sure. I can get some sleep tomorrow while she is back at the hospital.

While in the hospital, I was not very patient. I did some reading to help pass the time. I know this verse is describing something other than what I am saying...but it had some meaning behind it that I had to apply to myself today.

Job 33
But if not, then listen to me.
Keep silent and I will teach you wisdom!

What's A Good Example

2009-10-07T22:44:00.003-05:00

I didn't expect that being out here with Kendall would be so hard without Tammy. I can handle just about anything that comes up with her. I am more familiar and comfortable with dealing with the issues that may arise during her treatment. I am prepared to get that right. However, I didn't realize that I would be so lonely.

Kendall slept really late today and only got up close to time to go to the doctor. When we got back to the apartment, she went back to sleep. I know she was tired. Maybe she is just catching up on all the sleep she didn't get while we were home. Her fever went up a little tonight, but nothing to really worry about. It went back down as quick as it went up. She hasn't ate much today and was a little sick tonight. But she was better in about an hour. Like nothing was ever wrong. She went back to sleep kind of early because we have to be back at the doctor at 8am. The schedule is going to be really busy this week.

So while Kendall was asleep, I tried to catch up on some reading. Watched a little tv. Then called Tammy to let her know that I was bored and had nobody to talk to. Of course she couldn't talk because she was at work. So I was quite most of the day today. Kendall told me that she would let me go walk around Walmart tomorrow if she was feeling better. That's ok...I'm good as long as she is feeling alright.

I had a hard time trying to find a verse today that fit. So I went with a good example.

Ephesians 5:1
Follow God's example in everything you do, because you are his dear children.

Sometimes following a good example is harder than it seems. It just takes practice and focus.

What Is My Reason

2009-10-06T22:13:00.005-05:00

....as the sun shines through the window this morning, I slowly awake to the life of Houston. Realizing that I am no longer in Gardendale or that my wife is not with me. I am attempting to take care of Kendall during her journey by myself. We joked about me taking care of all of Kendall's needs but it was Tammy that kept everything together. I think she really sat back and watched me to make sure that I knew what I was doing. I'll admit..I didn't catch on until now. Tammy was really training me. Not that Kendall needs my help...she is so independent and could probably do this all by herself, showing no fear. I also think Kendall is letting me take care of her so I don't lose my mind.

We went to the doctor today and are expecting to start round three of chemotherapy treatment by Friday. The doctor confirmed that the masses in and around her spinal cord are "dramatically" shrinking. Dramatically was the word the doctor used, not mine. We will continue with the lumbar punctures (chemo in the spinal cord) weekly. Her blood has recovered as well, not as quick as it did the first couple of times, but it still recovered enough in less than a month. All the doctors were pleased that Kendall is having a speedy recovery. Kendall has still not had hardly any bad side effects thus far. The doctors were very pleased with this as well. It appears that we will be visiting the hospital every day this week and Friday is shaping up to be an all day affair. We are already mapping out our next trip home hopefully by the end of the month. I know everything can change still very quickly, but we are wanting to have something to work towards.

Kendall was very tired today and has slept most of the day. She took a long nap when we got home from the doctor. She will have plenty of time to rest to get ready for the next trip home. I'll make sure of it. We started the same routine as before...I ordered a pizza and we watched a movie tonight. I did miss seeing Dylan and Tammy for the movie though. Dylan called me about 10 times today to make sure I knew that he was taking care of the house and Tammy and the dogs. I just hope that he doesn't grow up to fast and don't need me anymore.

There have been alot of people that have expressed their love to Kendall and to us since the beginning of her journey. I want you all to know that your expressions have enlightened us when we were sad, kept us warm when we were cold and picked us up when we fall. And most of all...have shown Kendall how great love can be. People say that they don't see God but do believe in Him. I say that I see Him everyday. Everyday in the things that we do.... and in the things that we say.... and in the things that we show.......everyday. To me, that's God working and being visible to me...everyday.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Back to Houston

2009-10-05T21:28:00.003-05:00

What can I say? Refreshed! Renewed! Energized! That's how I feel after a few days at home. Kendall is much better now that we have completed a successful trip home. We flew into Birmingham on Wednesday afternoon and spend the next 5 nights soaking up as much as we could. The weekend was filled with many many visitors and we enjoyed all of you. Kendall enjoyed all of you.

Where to begin. Arriving home for the first time in almost two months was exciting. I forgot where everything was. Tammy's brother, Ronnie, picked us up at the airport. Our first stop was to Tammy's mother and daddy's house. They had fixed spaghetti for lunch and we all were hungry. This is where all the crying begins. The first of many crying sessions for the home reunion. We visited there for a while and then it was off to the house. Our neighbors had decorated the yard with balloons and signs and it was a very warm welcome home. We were met with screams, hugs and tears all the way around. It was amazing. Thank you! Kendall's friends and family members slowly made their way to the house to welcome her home. We couldn't wait to see all the kids. Our little family was having a reunion.

The first night we were able to sleep in our bed, I sort of felt like I was a stranger. I have been away so long it felt different. But it didn't take long to feel at home. Life seemed to pick up where it left off. I awoke the next morning to help Dylan get ready for school and to get ready myself to go to work. Had this all been an awful dream. Was someone playing a trick on us. I quickly realized that it was not a dream as I saw Kendall's folder on the dresser. I have a folder that keeps up with all of her medical records, doctors appointments and names to MD Anderson Hospital. I began to look through it to remind myself of what we have to do next.

The next couple of days seemed to go by really fast. I hope that's a good sign that we are going to fly through the next round of treatment.

We all went to church Sunday and no, Kendall did not wear her wig. She now says that hair gets in her way. Or that she doesn't look right with hair. The service and all the singing was so inspiring and helped all of us get a better grip on this journey. I felt so much better about my changes after listening to Pastor Kevin preach. He made me feel like I'm on the right path and to keep going.

So here we are, me and Kendall, in Houston. Tammy stayed at home this time to take care of things there. I'm going to be with Kendall through this next treatment and then we will see where we go from there. We met with the doctor tomorrow and will get Kendall's schedule for the next month. Hopefully we can start to come home at the end of her next treatments. Coming home every 2-3 weeks instead of every 2 months is a much better idea. We will continue to pray and do what's best for Kendall.

Being at home, I had a chance to catch up on our life that was suddenly interrupted. Things that I always say I'm going to do, or I'll do it tomorrow. Spend time with my family and friends. Telling them that I love them and I'll miss them when I'm gone. Apologizing for the things that I have done. And most important...taking time for God.

Proverbs 6:4
Don't put it off, Do it now! Don't rest until you do.

Finally Home

2009-09-29T21:57:00.005-05:00

Finally Home! This is a song by Mercy Me that I have listened to daily since we left Birmingham. I told Kendall and Dylan that I was going to play this song every day until we were able to return home. Even so much as I downloaded it to my cell phone and made it my ring tone. Something to give me extra incentive to bring Kendall home. And as of this writing, we will be coming home on Wednesday. Although it will be just for the weekend, it's still a much needed trip home. Kendall is doing well enough that the doctor said to go. Kendall is still really tired but I don't think I could keep her here any longer. She is ready to see her family and friends and of course...Chase. Her blood counts are still low but they are starting to climb slowly.

Looking forward to the rest of this week...I can already see that the week is going to be nonstop. It's something Tammy and I can't wait to tackle. A little break from the daily trips to the hospital, especially for Kendall. I just hope that she is able to enjoy the next few days without any complications or any fever. We are going to try and leave all of that here in Houston.

We are so thankful and blessed to all of our family and friends who have taken time out of their life to think of Kendall and greatly appreciate everything you have done for us. Tonight I wanted to give a special thank you to all of Kendall's friends. People that she goes to school with, grew up with and shares her lifes experiences with. I read through the bible looking for something to lift you up....to remind you that someone is always there for you....and to renew your strength and faith , just as you have done for Kendall. The verse tonight is for you and I pray that it finds a place in your heart...........

Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

A Child' s Eye

2009-09-28T21:23:00.004-05:00

No one can mistake the love in a child's eyes. Children are no doubt the work of God. No matter what they do, we will always love them. No matter how old the children become, we are all children of God and I can only imagine what He sees when he looks at us. As tired as I may become. As homesick as I may get. As depressed and sad as I am that this is happening to Kendall.....I see so much love in her eyes every time I look at her. Her eyes tell the whole story. And that is the reason I believe has changed my life. I can see God through her. Shining and smiling so brite that I believe children are Gods greatest treasure.

As we sat in the living room of the apartment today we talked about what we were going to do when we get home. Hug family and friends...and the dogs and catch up on the past 6-8 weeks of their lifes. Of course this all depends on good reports tomorrow from the doctor. Kendall said she wasn't going to even start packing until she was cleared. We are all trying to down play a little bit. Don't won't to seem too anxious...but we are all ready.

Kendall's fever stayed down today and she has felt ok. We didn't want to do anything to chance making her fever going up. Me and Tammy sanitized the apartment one last time before the weekend trip home and washed up all the clothes...you know just in case.

Reading tonight, I came across this prayer. I took these two verses out to share as they seemed to make me think more about things. To be... "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" is where I want to be. I have never been the man of God that I have wanted to be. I can tell the confidence in a man that has "that fullness". It is something that I want to fill up on.

The other part... "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" is such a blessing to know that God is here to answer our prayers...all our prayers. We just need to pray.

Ephesians 3:19-20
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

What Do You Think About

2009-09-27T22:34:00.004-05:00

Thinking good thoughts, thinking about what is the right thing to do and thanking God for the chance to do all of this. Trying to be a little upbeat tonight as I write this. Another day in the journey with Kendall almost complete. We were a little sad today as we had to take Emily to the airport. We so enjoyed her being able to spend time with Kendall. They had such a good time but it seemed to go by really fast. But just a few more days until we are able to spend time at our home. Kendall is still trying to catch a fever. I'm just glad it's not getting to high. I spring into action when it goes above 99 degrees . Call it paranoid, but now is not the time to get a fever. We don't have to go to the doctor until Tuesday, so not much planned for tomorrow.

We talked to Dylan today and he was in better spirits about his arm. We will have to take him to the doctor this week to find out whether or not his arm is broke.

I hope this verse finds its way into your day tomorrow. Not only does it have 4:8 in it, it also has "whatever" in it. Everywhere I look, I find verses that seem to put meaning into my life. Hard to imagine that so few words have such an impact on my life.
Word of God, I hear you.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Pile It On

2009-09-26T22:28:00.002-05:00

These last couple of days, I have struggled to not think about the past 6 weeks or so. Kendall has done good for the most part. There were a couple of times that her fever went up and we were on pins and needles. Kendall still seems really tired to me but she doesn't want us to think she is. Her and Emily and Tammy have laughed and talked all week. I kinda feel left out because I often find myself being on the tail end of a conversation. And then we received a call Friday night that Dylan may have broke his arm at the football game. Dylan helps out Coach Myric on the sidelines during the High School football game and this happened right before the game. My mother ended up taking him to Childrens Hospital emergency room. The doctors couldn't say whether or not it was broken because of the swelling. But they put him in a cast so he couldn't move it. It is the same arm that he broke last year when he played youth football at Gardendale.

With all of this going on and several other issues, not pertaining to Kendall, I once again become overwhelmed. I have spread my arms as far as they can go. I will continue to stand my ground and fight this as long as I can. But how much can I accomplish from so far away. At times I feel so vulnerable to the surroundings. Today, even though things seemed to be going smooth, I looked into the bible to find help to accomplish all these things. To give me guidance to make it through each and every day.

Kendall is so looking forward to her trip home next week. She has already been planning what to do each day. Hopefully this can renew her already amazing strength to finish the treatments without any problems.

Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.

How Great Is Your Love

2009-09-24T23:10:00.005-05:00

Fever comes and fever goes. Well, we did not have to go to the emergency room today. Kendall's fever dropped about 3:00am this morning. Although it did go up and down all day but never reach the bad temperature. She was a little more upbeat today. We tried to get her to do something to get her moving around a little bit. So the girls went to get a pedicure. Tammy said Kendall had a good time. I did not go, I let that be a girls day out. They all came back feeling refreshed and smiling. That was our only outing for the day. Kendall's temperature starting to rise again so we made it watching tv and resting in the apartment. We managed to drop the temperature one more time and it hasn't been back. Let's hope it stays away.

It seemed like any show we watched today was dealing with some type of cancer. I don't know if it is that we are more aware of it now or what. Some times we can watch them and other times we change the channel. This far into her treatment and I still have tears pouring out of my eyes when I think about what is going on with her. How much it has affected her, our family, our friends. I'm supposed to be tough. Doesn't take much to bring me to my knees. I look around my new, temporary housing and I do mean temporary, and see so many people dealing with the same issues that I today deal with. How do they do it every day. How can I do it every day. I am beginning to realize your life is what you make of it and the choices that you make....now. The choices made now will forever change my life. I just pray that they are the right choices. The choices that will give me the strength to care for my family and keep us together.

I've been working on some new pictures to post. These pictures are very hard for me to post but Kendall wanted me to post them. She has so much courage and strength in herself and her faith that I feel like she also wants to share with you. Her smile is the only contagious thing about her. When you look at these pictures you will see the smile of angel. So bright that it would light up Gardendale and beyond.

Job 29:24
When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them.

The Number "48"

2009-09-23T22:22:00.005-05:00

It's funny how sometimes people become attached to different things throughout their lifetime. One of them I want to tell you about today is the number 48. To some, it's just another number. But to me it has special meaning. I first came across the number almost twenty years ago when I was hired at Gardendale Police Department. My "call" number, is 48. From there it kind of took off and began to pop up everywhere. Part of the number in our address is 48. And Kendall's softball number is 48. She took that number very earlier in her softball years. She carried it all through little league, high school and now in college . I feel like at least a part of me is always with her to protect her. And now I also look at it as the 4th day of the 8th month when we found out something was wrong with her. Go figure.

Kendall hasn't felt good today. I could tell it in her eyes this morning. I went to take her temperature and we talked as we usually do but she kept taking the thermometer out of her mouth. After a couple of times I finally got a good reading. It was 99.1. Not to bad but it steadily made a climb up throughout the day. She has taken it easy today and making sure she is drinking plenty of water. But now it's high enough that we may have to make an emergency trip run. Anytime it gets to 101, they advised us to go to the ER because of her blood counts being so low. It's not there yet and I hope that it will start to go down now. But we are close. I will keep a check on her all night to make sure the fever stays down.

So tonight while I'm looking through bible verses I found one that seemed to apply for today. Then I happened to look at the number. 48. Go figure.

Luke 8:48
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

What's Around This Corner

2009-09-22T21:44:00.004-05:00

A day of healthcare at its best. Sometimes you just know what to expect...but you just hope for it not to happen. Another 12 hour day in the books. First thing this morning, 8:00am, Kendall was having blood taken at the hospital. We assumed her counts were going to be low...but they were REALLY low. The doctor ordered platelets as well as 2 units of blood. And we had a Lumbar Puncture to go. Emily wanted to see first hand Kendall's fun filled day of excitement at the hospital. Me and Tammy let Emily hang out with Kendall while we went to the big lobby to sit in the big comfortable chairs. I'll give you one guess what they were doing when I went to check on them. That's right...sleeping. Both of them sound asleep with a blanket pulled over their heads. I don't think the day phased Emily any. Not much excitement at all. Just laying around in the bed.

We talked to the physician's assistant about Kendall's treatment and still everything is going as scheduled. She was a little surprised that Kendall hasn't been more tired than she has due to her blood counts being low. Other than that, we are trying to stay calm about making our brief trip home next week. Just to be sure everything goes well.

With all of that being said, I'm going to turn in early to get a good nights sleep. Neither me or Tammy slept any last night. We both were just thinking about the upcoming events with Kendall and her treatment. What to expect next and trying to explore and research all the possibilities of the next big step. Sounds alot like homework. I'm expecting to make an A.

Ephesians 3:12
In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Standing Still

2009-09-21T20:15:00.003-05:00

One day at a time is what we said we would do. This is how we are going to fight this. To date, Kendall is winning all the rounds in my opinion. She continues to improve and perform like a winner. Her strength has given her so much determination to accomplish this journey. And I have no doubt that she will.

Emily arrived Sunday and the two of them have not been separated since. The laughter and excitement going on around the apartment yesterday was loud. I can expect more of this to happen all week. We have a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood work and a Lumbar Puncture. I hope tomorrow goes smoother than this past Friday did. You never seem to know what to expect when we go. That's all the more reason to go one day at a time. Everything can change so quickly now.

Being still is where I feel I am right now. The last few days for me have been....odd. Several "fights" I have been in lately have left me feeling almost helpless. No matter what I seem to do...I can't seem to put the pieces together. So I'm going to just be still and let God work on a few things for me. Never before have I felt that prayer has worked more for me than this past couple of months. Tomorrow is another day and I'm going to finish enjoying today and not worry anymore about tomorrow. My faith, family and friends have become the biggest part of me....so....let's get to it.

Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Lord...I'm still....I lay this before you only to pick it up tomorrow with your blessing. Your love for Kendall is shinning so bright..I can see the way. Thank you..Amen

Continued Healing

2009-09-19T21:38:00.002-05:00

Sitting here tonight watching football, Kendall working on her scrapbook and Tammy working on a a puzzle....thinking about how much we miss being home. I didn't post Friday as we were at the hospital all day. What was supposed to be a routine blood work turned in to a 12 hour visit. Friday started off good with the nurses drawing the blood and even getting the lab work back fairly quick. Then we meet with the physician assistant. She told us Kendall's counts were low, which we expected and that she wanted Kendall to get 2 pints of blood. From that point on, confusion set in. The orders were wrote wrong and the communication between the lab and doctor just shut down. For about 3 hours, no one could tell us what we needed to do. Not to mention that it was Friday, the busiest day for the lab. after I got upset at the lab nurses, they figured out where the problem was and apologized to Kendall for the delay. From that point forward it went better but there was so many people. So about 9:30pm, we walked out of the hospital to go to the apartment. They said Kendall should be fine for the weekend but to watch her close due to the low counts. As soon as we got back, Kendall went to sleep. I stayed up and browsed through the Internet on AML and related research. I also started reading a book. I know...me reading a book, knitting...what else will happen to me. But the book is really good and keep me occupied while we were at the hospital.

Today, we sanitized the apartment...again. Me and Tammy went to the grocery store while Kendall rested quietly for her "alone time". We wasn't gone long, the grocery store is across the street. Back in time for the Auburn game. It was a nail biter for a little bit, but the best team won....of course. War Eagle!!!

Its getting late so I'll go but just to let you know, Kendall is doing amazingly well and getting plenty of rest. She did mention today that she is going to start getting back in the gym with me. I was glad to hear that. I have been looking for a batting cage to take her to, can't let her skills get down. She just smiled and said whatever.

Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Home???

2009-09-17T21:44:00.002-05:00

I began to realize today that whenever any one of us refer to where we are staying...we call it "the apartment" and not home. But the apartment is slowly becoming a home away from home due to the amount of time being spent here. But I don't want to recognize it as being home. I have a home and we all want to go there. Even though I have been taking this a day at a time, when I look back...there have been a lot of days gone by. Little by little the things that all of us have done on a daily basis are becoming lost in time. A few examples are with Dylan. We called each other a dozen times or so every day between us. Talking about our day and about Kendall. The phone calls haven't stopped...but have decreased on both sides. Seeing my K9 partner Hasso every day for the last 4 years to not at all. Small things like this go on and I know I shouldn't worry about them too much but I still think about them. But no matter where I am, at home in Gardendale or in Houston, I am at home with God. I have made him a daily concern in my life and that change has been good. There is a need to pray to Him every day for something or somebody and I will continue to do that on a daily basis.

Kendall has been "normal" today if you want to call it that. She has not been too tired or complained of any pain or discomfort...other than having Leukemia. Bragan and Candice left today so we were all a little sad. Kendall as well as Tammy and me enjoyed their company but the time went by so fast. Time spent with family and friends has really took on a new look. Everything is appreciated a little more.

Kendall has to have blood work done tomorrow to see where her counts are. I expect them to be really low, but Kendall has done so well the last few days they may surprise me. We are looking to make a trip home on September 30 if all goes as planed. So far we are on track for the trip. We will only be there through the weekend but I think it will do Kendall some good to be HOME for a few days.

I looked at this verse today that talked about being at home. Home seemed to take on another meaning instead of "the apartment". I think being Home with God is my choice no matter where I am.

Corinthians 5:8-9
We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

Beach Trip

2009-09-16T21:44:00.004-05:00

Pressing forward through another day of Kendall's journey continues to take us all on a new journey. We receive calls, letters, text messages and emails from people that are saying prayers for Kendall every day. Some of these people are sharing their own personal experiences dealing with Cancer or any other journey going on in their life. Let me tell you, Kendall as well as Tammy and me enjoy every bit of it. The encouragement and uplifting that people can give is unbelievable. This is by itself a "healing" that should be done more often by one another. The last 20 years of my life, I have been working as a police officer. I have worked in many areas of police work. I, more often than not, usually am dealing with people that are going through very difficult times and are at their worst. I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has troubled times, no matter who you are. And it is such a blessing for people to "lift you up" during those times. People we don't even know are praying for Kendall and sending her words of encouragement as well as me and Tammy. This is what is such a blessing to witness. As hard as this journey is for Kendall and myself, people have been carrying us through it. Not to mention my new energy for reading the bible and trying to apply scripture to everything I do.

2 Tim 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

We took Kendall to Galveston Island today. It was cloudy but that was probably better for her anyway. We drove the car out onto the beach and parked right in front of the water. Kendall and Tammy sat on a blanket while I waded in the Gulf. Bragan and Candice attempted to come out in the ocean until Candice said she stepped on something and it moved out from under her feet. That was all it took and I was alone in the ocean. The girls all laid on the blanket for a while why I just stared at the water. The beach there is not as beautiful as the Alabama coast, no sandy white beaches, but given the circumstance...it was an afternoon at the beach. We stayed for a few hours and then packed up and went to eat. We found a local restaurant to cool off.

Back to Houston we went, traffic by now was getting heavy so it took us a little longer to get back. But we made it, just in time to get a nap. Kendall laid down and rested while Tammy, Bragan and Candice dove into a puzzle. They had it out all over the table. All of them are so intense and determined to finish it before Bragan and Candice go home tomorrow. I read up on current events from the computer and listened to them laugh.

As things wind down, we prepare for tomorrow. Nothing really to do, no hospital, blood work or anything. Just have to be here for Kendall. Her medication has increased as well as me taking her temperature 4-5 times a day. I am beginning to watch her more closely as her counts start to drop lower. We will continue to handle things like we did the first round and hope that we do as good a job.

I really find this verse tonight to be my new drive. I find myself applying scripture to everything I do. And for me, that's a good thing. I had misplaced that part of me for too long.

I Love You Today

2009-09-15T21:24:00.003-05:00

1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

The things you do for your children are not always the popular choice. Sometimes the decisions are made based on what is better for them in the long road ahead. They may not see that far ahead and want to choose the shorter route. By choosing the longer road for them, our children often become mad because they don't understand. We all know how hard it is when our children are mad at us. I have done my share of giving in but sometimes I have to stay the coarse that I am on and weather the storm. My actions will hopefully come to a peaceful resolution during this journey and allow Kendall to once again have a normal life.

Kendall had some blood work done today and it showed that her counts are dropping. This is normal and we have been expecting them to start dropping really low over the next 4 days. A preliminary report on the last MRI Kendall had came back. A lot of medical language that I really don't understand but the doctor translated it to mean that the mass (tumor, lesion..whatever it's called) is almost resolved. Kendall does not have any more leg or lower back pain. Continued good reports. We were at the doctor for a long time today so when we came back to the apartment, Kendall took a nap. Me and Tammy cooked dinner and we all ate together. We settled into the night watching tv and talking. We talked about driving down to Galveston tomorrow to go to the beach. It's only about an hour away and it will get us out of the apartment for some recreational fun.

Today has been hard. I knew there would be days like this that we would experience and it doesn't make them a good day or a bad day...just a hard day.
Kendall, when you read this...know that I love you today!

Who's Teaching Who?

2009-09-14T21:32:00.004-05:00

Monday night comes to a close as does the finishing of the second chemotherapy treatment. I am beginning to see Kendall's fight stretch out toward what I feel is going to be her toughest battle. The fight is leaving her tired for the fourth day in a row. But I do believe that Kendall is pushing this fight beyond all limits. Her smile still shines even though I can see in her eyes how tired she has become. I want to push her like I did when I coached her in softball when she was little. Give her that extra word of encouragement that I know she can do it. Tell her that she CAN do ALL things through CHRIST , which strengthen her. All these things....I do, but it upsets me that I can not do any of them for her. All I have are words. This fight...she must accomplish with God at her side. I pray that I have given her all the training necessary that she needs to complete this. Kendall is very determined to complete this and I will be here with her throughout her journey.

Today after we finished her treatment, we took her for a surprise. Bragan and Candice had flown out here to see her. Kendall did not know they were coming. Even as I am pulling into the airport to pick them up, we didn't tell her who was coming. Bragan has not been able to see Kendall since her wedding. Hugs and kisses and tears were coming from everyone when we met up. We went back to the car and then to lunch.
Bragan had to work last night and has not been to sleep yet. We went back to the apartment where I was sure Bragan was going to take a nap. Didn't happen. We all sat in the living room and talked for hours. About 5:30pm, Kendall as well as Bragan, decided to take a nap and that's exactly what they both did. The rest of us stayed awake and flipped through the tv channels.

Kendall woke up long enough to eat something and then went back to bed. Probably for the night. We go to the hospital tomorrow for a lumbar puncture and to get some blood lab work done. It's not until 12:30pm, so we may get to sleep in a little late. Bragan and Candace will be here through the week so I'm sure Kendall will not be bored.

I talked tonight about whether or not I have given Kendall all the "necessary training" that she needs. I look back over the last 15 years of my life. Time that I have had with Kendall to teach her these things. I know that my relationship with God hasn't always been where I wanted it to be. Especially now looking back, there was always things that I could have done differently or applied a bible verse to a particular decision that I may have been struggling with. This is the one thing, even now, that I so desperately want to give to Kendall....and that is a relationship with God. God gives us choices and it is up to us to make the right choices in what we believe to be right...in Gods eyes. We talked about God the other night and Kendall told us that she has a relationship with HIM. That relationship is hers and I do believe she has the "necessary training" to deal with this in her own way. This bible verse I try and apply even now...no matter how old our children are.

Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Patience, we all have it in us.

2009-09-13T21:20:00.003-05:00

Coming to the end of Kendall's second chemotherapy treatment brings us one step closer to being able to bring her home. I can't say that this has been easy. I feel as if everything has stopped with us and the world continues to turn. I want to try and find a way to jump back into the main stream of things. Kendall is becoming more homesick every day. She has been real tired the last couple of days which we knew was going to happen. Tomorrow is the last treatment and we should find out where her blood levels are at. This treatment has been so different compared to the first one. I don't know if she is more tired because she walks around more or if her body is more tired. Either way, she has slept alot this weekend.

She was able to spend some time with Jessica and Sierra who were out here visiting. They went to the mall one day and walked around for a while. Mostly, we just stayed inside and watched tv. We were able to watch the Auburn and Alabama games Saturday. I was able to pull them up on the Internet. Kendall watched some of the Alabama game but really wasn't interested in football. We went to treatment again this morning and it all seems to be nothing more than routine now. Seeing a lot of the same nurses and other patients almost on a daily basis now. I cooked lunch today for everybody and as far as I know everyone liked it. Cooking at the apartment is better than having to eat out all the time. Now that we have settled in enough, me and Tammy are trying to cook more. Tammy talked to all the kids and other family and friends today on the phone. Minus us not being in Gardendale, it was alot like our normal Sunday from home.

Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father

Having read this verse, Kendall's Journey has started out very strong. All of us wanting it to be over, but knowing we must hang on. I didn't write about something the other night that happened between Kendall, Tammy and me. But now I want to share this. Kendall was having a rough time the other night about being out here. She wants to go home. Other than being a little tired and losing her hair, she hasn't experienced the immediate pain that she does when she has been physically hurt ...say...playing sports. Most of the pain is immediate and you know or rather Kendall knows what is wrong with her. This....this journey has not been like other injuries. It's been complicated, new, overwhelming and frankly, just don't understand it. This "injury" has affected all of us. I know Kendall is the one having to complete it. But we all are going through it. It has made this very emotionally painful on many levels. While Kendall has been extremely strong dealing with this, there comes a time when it is all going to get to her. She has had some little incidents along the way and will probably have a few more before we are done. But I feel that these little moments are helping to mold her to further understand what is happening with her and around her. This plan that God has for her....I know is the right plan. It has put me on a plan that I never expected either. That's why I pray for patience tonight to be with Kendall. SHE WILL be able to look back at this one day and appreciate Gods plan just as I do now for HIM allowing me to be in her life.

Act 2, Scene 1

2009-09-12T07:16:00.003-05:00

Act 2, Scene 1. Successful! Just like the movies. The chemotherapy treatment went as scheduled yesterday. Except we were able to go home a little early. As the nurse was hooking Kendall up on the IV's she asked if we wanted to go home and do the treatment. What does that mean, Kendall asked. The nurse said that Kendall could receive the first doses at the hospital and then can carry a portable pump to receive the second dose. Well, that one didn't have to have any second thought. As Kendall was receiving the first dose, the nurse explained to me how to operate the pump for Kendall. It wasn't really hard to do. Push a button. I thought I had enough experience to handle that. When 11:30am rolled around, we were out of there. It's a good thing, I guess, the waiting room was extremely crowded.

Back at the apartment, me and Tammy cleaned a little bit more and sanitized everything. Jessica and Sierra were flying in tonight for a weekend visit.

Sorry there's not much today, the Internet was not working last night when I got ready to post. We are leaving to go to treatment but I wanted to let you know how the first day went.

Stepping Forward

2009-09-10T20:56:00.003-05:00

Nobody really likes to go to the doctor, usually because there is something wrong. As much as we have been to the doctor with Kendall over the past month, I wouldn't have believed that we actually enjoyed the doctor visit today. This morning we took Kendall in early to have blood work done. The meeting after is what was the good part. Kendall is in "Bone Marrow Remission"!!!!! She has met every goal for the first part of the treatment that the doctors set for her. We are officially in part 2 of the treatment. CONSOLIDATION is what they call it. Kendall's bone marrow aspiration showed that the blasts were under 5. 5 was the magic number we were hoping for. Now, why this is very good news....we still have a long way to go to Complete Remission. She still has at least 5 more chemotherapy treatments to go spaced out over the next 4-5 months. Infection can still be very dangerous to her and we will still have to be careful with her when the counts are low. But still, it is exciting. The Physicians Assistant that was telling us this said that Kendall did extremely well and her counts recovered very fast. Kendall....I....we....owe this to God. I believe that God is with us for Kendall's Journey. To God be the glory.

It's hard for me to not get emotional over this...because I want to. But I know, it is still going to be a long road. It's like all the times I practiced with Kendall on pitching and hitting for softball. She kept working hard to improve herself to strive to be the best that she can be. I know that she believes in herself and is not going to quit "practicing" with this until she wins.

We were supposed to start the chemo today but the treatment was going to last about 6-7 hours, so the doctors changed it to tomorrow. We will start around 9:00am and go for the next 4 days. Then the repeat cleanliness begins. We've already sanitized the apartment.

I want to thank all of you again for your continued support and prayers for Kendall. You have meant more to us than you know. We owe alot of this success to you. It would not have been possible without you. At times I have struggled to write on here but I know that you have been as concerned for Kendall as we have been. I wanted to make all of you a part of this journey and hope that you continue with us. Kendall has expressed many times about how overwhelmed she has been for the love that you have shown her. I am praying for God to lay his hands on you and give you his blessings. That he continues to be with you at all times.

Deuteronomy 32:3
I will proclaim the name of the LORD.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!

Open Doors

2009-09-09T21:10:00.003-05:00

Bone Marrow, bone marrow, bone marrow.....How many Bone Marrow Aspirations can a girl have, was Kendall's question today. Her lower back looks like a pin cushion from all the needles they are sticking in there. Kendall was really upset today thinking she was having a biopsy instead of an aspiration. A biopsy they would actually remove part of the bone. Aspiration is when they take out just the fluid. Both of them are painful and Kendall was not looking forward to either of them today. However, when we arrived at the hospital and the nurse asked her if she was ready for the aspiration, a sigh of relief went over Kendall's face. She said at least they won't be grinding in my bones. As me and Tammy were sitting there, we began to talk to a couple from Louisiana that were there for treatment as well. Maxine Pharr has been having treatment for 11 years at MD Anderson hospital and said she has been through all of it. Mrs. Pharr has Lymphoma and it has been off and on in her body all this time. She would smile as Kendall and me aggravated one another in the waiting room. Mrs. Pharr began to ask about Kendall and then she began to tell us about some of her experiences. She talked about her children and grandchildren as well as friends of hers. Kendall went back for her procedure and we continued to talk to our new friends. When Kendall came out, ready to go, Mrs. Pharr asked if we would mind her putting Kendall on her prayer request at their church. We exchanged names and told her we would do the same and ask people we know to pray for her...

We went straight to the apartment this afternoon, no walking or anything. Kendall had been very quite this morning and said that she didn't sleep good. So I said, dinner and a movie. And that's what we did. Tammy had started a roast this morning before we left and your sure could smell it when we walked in the apartment this afternoon. Another lazy afternoon as Kendall caught up on some rest and we .....did the same.

We think they are going to start her treatment tomorrow afternoon. Kendall is on the schedule for 5:00pm. We will find out in the morning when we go for blood work. Chemo treatments will probably last 4-5 hours tomorrow, which will make out for a long day at the hospital.

We got to see Karsyn on the webcam tonight. Whitney and Chad and Emily too. Karsyn sure has grown and is even starting to roll over now. Can't wait to be able to hold her again. Dylan called as well to update me on his turtle. I got to see him last night. I'm thinking the turtle is small but when I saw it, it's alot bigger than I thought. The turtle will make a nice addition to the animals we currently have.

An early day as well as a long day expected at the hospital tomorrow so I want leave you with a quick prayer and verse.

Revelation 3:8
I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.

Lord, I'm asking for an open door to heal. Please place healing on our new friend, Mrs. Maxine Pharr.

John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

Lord, I'm asking for an open door to heal. Please place healing on Kendall.

Who You Looking At

2009-09-08T21:23:00.002-05:00

Today is a day that definitely had Kendall Thomas written all over it. We went back to the doctor today for another Lumbar Puncture (chemotherapy treatment) after a long weekend. By now, it's been a few days since I shaved all of Kendall's hair off. She has been sensitive around people most of the weekend. She did open up to Chase some but for the most part, had a hoodie or a toboggan on. So as we were leaving today to go to the doctor, I was a little shocked when Kendall came out of her bedroom and walked right past me with nothing covering her head. I said, Kendall, you forgot your toboggan. And she said I'm not wearing one. She strutted out the apartment down to the car. When we arrived at the hospital, she again was walking with so much confidence it was breathtaking. She was almost daring you to look at her. Of course she looked beautiful and I think everyone else who saw her was saying the same thing. It reminded me of that word Kendall and her friends would say, "swagger". She really had it today.

We went back to the apartment for a while before going to walk around Target. By now I could see that she was getting tired and ready to go back. We don't want to overdo it but I know she enjoys getting out some. Being couped up in the apartment all day is not good for anybody. Her physical strength is coming back more, knowing only to take another hit when we start round 2. I hope this next roller coaster ride is as gentle to her as the first one was. We don't know her completed schedule yet as we will have to wait on the results from today and tomorrows tests. But could possibly start round 2 as early as Thursday.

I have taken some more pictures over the last week and haven't posted them because some of them are with Kendall's head shaved. But she has said that it wouldn't bother her for me to post them. I'm not so sure so I'm giving her some time to think about it. Over the next few days I will work on putting them together and will post only with her permission.

One more thought, as Kendall was laying in the hospital bed today after her procedure she talked to me about the posts I've been making. She said that I have been really short with the last couple of them and asked if something was wrong. What was I supposed to say, No. After our conversation she fell asleep. All I could think about is how much I love her. Going through having Leukemia and all the accessories that it carries, she still has the time to ask me how am I doing. She seems to know me best when I'm not feeling right and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. Kendall has grabbed a hold of this journey and she knows what she has to do and is determined to do it. Kendall is becoming more the teacher and me the student.

1 Chronicles 25:8
Young and old alike, teacher as well as student, cast lots for their duties.

No matter how much I have taught Kendall in the past, I am never above learning even from her. She is taking me to school for this journey.

A New Week

2009-09-07T22:15:00.002-05:00

Today was the last day of a very restful weekend. Today was also the day that Chase left to go back home. This morning, as I tried to sleep in late, I laid in the bed and could hear Chase and Kendall laughing in the living room. They were having such a good time, I hated to spoil it by going in there. They were aggravating one another and laughing so loud like nothing else was going on in the world. We ordered pizza for lunch and watched tv until it was time to take Chase to the airport. I thought Kendall would go with me but she chose to stay behind. They said their goodbyes and off we went to the airport. Me and Chase talked about Kendall again and about her treatment. Chase was better this time around and I know he made Kendall feel better.

Back at the apartment we caught up on some sleep and watched a movie. Dylan called to tell me about his turtle that he got over at my mother's house. He was so excited telling me about it. And of course he wants to keep it inside.

Kendall has several tests scheduled this week and we hope to find out the results of the MRI and Bone Marrow Aspiration this week. Not much other than that going on.

Looking for Peace

2009-09-06T22:16:00.002-05:00

I've had a few days to think about what I want to say on here tonight. Kendall has been doing really good. Her energy level is increasing. Her mood has been great. And her confidence level is increasing daily about her losing her hair. I really expect her to not be wearing anything on her head in a few days only showing her ability of how strong she is. She is such an incredible young lady....

We have been out a few times around town. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings Saturday afternoon to eat before the football game. Then back to the apartment to watch football. I did learn one thing. Chase gets very excited about Alabama football. Me being an Auburn fan, the only Auburn fan here, had to sit by the computer to listen to Auburn because I could not overpower all of them for the tv.

We woke up early this morning to get ready to go to church. Kendall hasn't really been able to get out alot except for the past few days, so we decided to go visit a local church. We went to Houston's First Baptist Church and had a nice time at the service. We then picked up some KFC for lunch and went back to the apartment.

Kendall and Chase took a nap so me and Tammy had a chance to talk about everything going on. We had agreed not to talk about it until everyone has left but it came up anyway. So many questions and concerns. Today, being Sunday, is usually the day we come together and eat and Tammy's mother and daddy's house for lunch. Whitney took the laptop down there and we did get to webcam together. It still wasn't the same as being there but it was nice to see and hear all of them laughing and talking.

I guess I didn't write yesterday as it had been a month since we found out about Kendall having Leukemia. Almost been a month since I've been home. I know things are going good right now but I just want to take my family home. Being apart has been hard, not only for us but for the ones that were left at home. I hold my composure together on the outside knowing that I struggle every day on the inside. I'm not the only one who feels that way. Tammy was on the porch today for longer than normal. Kendall went to check on her and told me that she was having a moment. She came in and went to the bedroom. I went in there with her and layed down beside her on the bed. I could tell that she had been crying. We talked for a while and she said to me, "Don't you just have those moments where you want to cry?" I didn't say anything. I just got up and walked off.

John 14:1
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

As hard as I found it to write tonight I found these two verses that inspired me to continue. The last few days with Kendall have been great, she has felt good and no problems have came up. So why do I still feel the pain inside. I guess until this is over there will always be a troubled heart inside.

Beautiful,simply beautiful!

2009-09-04T23:50:00.002-05:00

Today is a day that will no doubt be remembered by me as Beautiful. We started out the day with a visit from Keith and Deb. They came over to the apartment today to spend the day with Kendall. They had to go home today and I could see the look of frustration in their faces knowing that neither of them wanted to leave. We sat around and talked and then decided to go to lunch. I assumed that Kendall and Chase would go and me and Tammy would stay behind so they could spend some time with her. But then they invited us to go as well. I was excited to go because I didn't want to miss out on any fun. Kendall wanted Mexican so we found another place down the street. It was really good and we all laughed and made jokes. For those of you that don't know. Keith and Deb and Tammy and me have bought Kendall a couple of "Cranial Prosthesis" which is the medical word for a wig. Kendall still has some hair but it has been coming out over the last few days. Kendall was wearing one, and honestly I can not tell the difference, because the cut is the same as her real hair. We were being seated at a table and none of us really payed any attention that there was a large fan right over the table. I wasn't even thinking when I went to the side without the fan, because I didn't want to sit next it. Then Kendall walked right over in front of it....and well.... the fan was blowing really fast. But Kendall was quick enough to make an adjustment and nothing went wrong. We all began looking at one another until Kendall started laughing and then we all started laughing as well. We had a good lunch. We then went to the apartment to get the rest of Keith and Debs stuff because they had to go to the airport to go home.

This is the part I was not looking forward to. They said their goodbyes, hugged and kissed and told each other they loved one another. I began thinking how hard this must be for both of them as they were walking out the door. How I am going to dread doing this myself or for Tammy when the time comes. I'm really glad Keith and Deb were able to come out, we really did have a great time together. I know Kendall is looking forward to the next visit.

So with the mood being a little bit down, what's the best thing to do....go get ice cream. So that's what we did. Chick-Fil-A and ice cream and shakes. That always make you fell better.

The rest of the afternoon goes by kinda fast. We watched a movie, I'm making an Auburn toboggan and we discussed cutting Kendalls hair. Kendall is ready to shave her hair off as it has really began to come out. I had brought a shaver, because that's what I use for mine...well the side of my head anyway. So Kendall is anxious to do this but doesn't want anyone to see it but me. So Kendall and me go in the bathroom and I began to shave her hair. Inside, I'm wanting to bust out crying because I know she is going to see what I've done to her and she is going to get upset. She said the razor felt good as I went over the top of her head. She said it was like someone scratching her head. But the more I shaved the more beautiful she became. She was already beautiful and the first thing I said is look at those big beautiful eyes. She has had her head down during most of the shaving. As soon as she looked in the mirror she placed her head down again and started crying. I got on my knees in all that hair on the floor and just held her. I wanted to cry with her but I needed to be strong, for her, for me. I told her how beautiful she was with or without hair and I don't how anyone could think anything other. I asked her to look at me and her eyes were filled with tears. She had tracks on her face from the tears falling. No mistaking those blue eyes for brown anymore. I told her that she was going to get through this. She shook her head and I wiped her tears away. She said she that she was alright. I told her to get a shower and wash all the hair off of her as I cleaned up the bathroom.

Chase, Tammy and myself were in the living room when she came out of her room. She had taken a shower and was ready for bed. As she came through the door, her smile was as big as I have ever seen it. She had a hooded sweatshirt on with her head covered. She was displaying so many emotions on her face. But one thing was for sure...is that she was beautiful.

1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

A Good Report

2009-09-03T22:07:00.002-05:00

Well, today was the day we have been waiting for. First round of chemotherapy is complete. We arrived at the hospital about 7:30am and went through the usual blood labs. We then went to eat a quick breakfast down in the cafeteria. Kendall had her usual, gravy biscuits. We were not due to see the doctor until 10:00am, but we went to her office anyway hoping they might have tell us something earlier. A little after 10:00am, the doctor came in to talk to us. She said that Kendall's "blasts" were down a little from the bone marrow aspiration test, but not to the level that they were hoping for. But they were down. They want to do another bone marrow aspiration next week, anticipating that the "blasts" will be down even more. The spinal fluid showed no signs of Leukemic cells at all. They want to start the second part of her treatment next week. Overall, it was a good report. The doctor said that Kendall has responded beautifully to the treatment with little side effects and that it was working. The doctor said that it would even be alright if Kendall wanted to take a trip home towards the end of her second cycle, provided it works as well as it has the first time. So if all goes well, Kendall can home for a visit at the end of the month for about 10 days. Kendall's blood levels have improved even more since Tuesday and are working on their on.

This first round has had both ups and downs. Has been difficult for Kendall learning how to deal with her new lifestyle. But it has been positive. Kendall has been overwhelmingly strong through this and I am so proud of her for being able to handle this the way that she has. Not that I had any doubts that she couldn't.

Kendall went with me to pick up Chase at the airport. She was really glad to see him. Chase talked about his flight and we made small talk but Kendall wanted him to herself so I walked up ahead a little bit, not that they were paying me any attention anyway. We went back to the apartment where we joined Tammy, Keith and Deb for dinner. Tammy had cooked Chicken and Rice for everybody. We ate, watched a little football and talked through the evening.

All in all the reports were good, a work in progress. We know this is going to take awhile. We're still looking at 6 months worth of chemotherapy treatments to go. But one day at a time we will deal with it the best way that we can. Now that we have been through this first part, and especially the way Kendall has responded to the treatment, me and Tammy have talked about one of us going home for awhile. How hard is that going to be, leaving one of your children with something like this. As sure as I have been with God leading our path, I trust in Him that he will guide us to the right decision.

John 8:16
But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.

What's Wrong with Me

2009-09-02T22:35:00.003-05:00

I'm reading through the Bible tonight looking for passages and verses that continue to keep me pressing through this Blog of Kendall's Journey. I playback the days events, the phone calls and the talks we have had today. I try and keep up with the world going on outside of Houston. And the world has not stopped. Everyone still has to live their life, moving forward. It bothers me sometimes to think how easy it is to get caught up in something and not take the time to see what's really important. My life is what I make it. Sure, I can mess up the plan that God has for me or I can continue to drive towards his light doing good for his purpose. Kendall's Journey is showing me what is really important in my life.....

....This family continues to work together for the purpose that has been placed before us. The love is shinning down at every minute of the day onto us. So much is happening around us, I wish you could see it as I do.

Friends and neighbors are supporting and loving our every need. How great is the love and friendship of neighbors. So great, that I long for the day to embrace each of you to try and express how much you have meant to all of us.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Kendall slept in a little late this morning from the long day at the hospital yesterday. Keith and Deb came over to the apartment to visit with her for a while. She was so happy to see them. That smile of hers continued to glow. We sat around and talked about Kendall and her doctors, normal hospital cancer treatment stuff. We talked so much that Kendall wanted to get out of the apartment for a while. Keith and Deb took her out for an afternoon on the town. Me and Tammy decided to go the grocery store while they were gone. They went to eat at Olive Garden, one of Kendall's other favorite places to eat. They also got some exercise walking around Houston.

Not much went on after that. A quite evening at the apartment and turning in early. Thursday we meet Kendall's doctor to hopefully find out the results from the test earlier this week.

What's wrong with me is I always seemed to know what a loving family we have. We have always been close. Our friends are dear to us and we talked often, even before all of us. Our neighbors have always looked out for us as we have looked out for them. In a sense you could say that even our friends and neighbors are FAMILY as well. But....to see what I'm seeing now, I don't know what I've done to deserve the blessings that you are showing to Kendall and to us. From the deepest part of my heart, I say thank you, I love you and God Bless You!

Working Through It

2009-09-02T00:12:00.002-05:00

We started out this morning with a change in the schedule. I called the doctors office to confirm the tests and they had been changed. We didn't have to be there until 3:00pm. They had reworked the schedule so we wouldn't have to be at the hospital all day. So what do you do when you doctor's appointment is changed. Go shopping! We drove over to a strip mall close to the apartment and walked around. This, of course, was after breakfast at IHOP. International House of PANCAKES, right. Well Kendall orders gravy biscuits and grits. But they were good, Kendall said. It reminded me of us going to the Mexican restaurant in Gardendale and Dylan always ordering a corn dog.

So we're walking around the strip mall and Kendall finds a toboggan. And she buys it! What about my toboggan? Just kidding, I know she still likes mine, even though the one she bought looked better. We walked around for about an hour an a half and went back to the apartment to get a nap. Kendall was tired, or was it me.

We went to the hospital a little early so I could give blood. They were having a blood drive and I thought I would give my pint. They even gave me a t-shirt for it. Kendall has her bone marrow aspiration and then we went to have more blood work done before the MRI. All of this would last until 9:00pm. Hopefully, we should know the results of these tests on Thursday.

Keith and Deb flew in tonight to Houston. I'm sure we will have a full day of activities for tomorrow as we do not have any doctors appointments.

Kendall was still losing some of her hair today and we mildly tried to laugh about it as she would usually be the one laughing first. Tonight before she went to bed, she became upset about it and is not really ready for it to come out. She said she hopes it stays in a little longer, at least until Chase is here. I know she is upset but has handled it rather well. She will continue to work through it, one day at a time.

John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Last of part 1 chemo????

2009-08-31T23:52:00.005-05:00

What do they say, Monday's is always hard getting back to work. Same goes for the hospital. Even though we didn't have to be there until noon. It was still hard to go back. We've been to the waiting room at the "Fast Track Lab" so much we have our own seats. Today we had three different appointments an hour apart from each other. I thought there is no way we are going to get all that done. And I was right. They rescheduled the visit with the doctor today because they were running behind with her Lumbar Puncture and last chemotherapy treatment of part 1. It was 5:00pm before we left the hospital. We still are doing the Bone Marrow Aspiration and MRI tomorrow. The doctor stated that she wants to meet with us after the results come back from these final two tests.

Good news today from the bloodwork. Her white blood cells jumped from 0.4 to 2.3 since Saturday. The other levels were also improving on there without having to give her blood. I hope thats a good sign that she is responding well.

We came back to the apartment and Kendall was tired from all the poking of needles in her so she took a nap. Me and Tammy watched a movie and did some chores around the apartment. We have to be at the hospital early in the morning and will probably be there all day. That might be it until Thursday.

I finally was able to get some pictures posted tonight. Some are from the hospital in Birmingham. It's not too long. I hope you like them.

Rom 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Angel For You

2009-08-30T22:24:00.003-05:00

Today....we had alot of time spent together. Kendall talked and texted on two phones at the same time. Tammy finished her 1000 piece puzzle and yes, I knitted another hat. Much of the day was spent doing something other than talking about Leukemia or how it has affected Kendall's life. It was good to "get away" for a while. I'm not going to write too much as I feel I will have much to talk about in the next few days as we get some much needed results for Kendall's first round of treatment.

Kendall is doing fine today, just as she has most of this journey. I did notice more today how Tammy starts to shine more when she is talking on the phone to family and friends. Not that I don't think she enjoys talking to me or Kendall but she has her outlet as I do mine. The shine is very noticeable when she is talking to Whitney, Bragan or Dylan. As I watched her today speak with all of them at different times, I realized that she has a channel for each of them. She remembers more things about what is going on in each of their lives and equally distributes her love among them. As isolated as we are from our family and friends, Tammy is more in tuned with her parents, family, friends, my parents, the kids and with Kendall all at the same time. Not too mention all the stuff she is doing out here. I feel deep down that with God and Tammy having it all together during this, Kendall is in really good shape.

So before I go on.... I again want to take time and say a prayer for someone out there who is hurting inside or is faced with a situation that they feel is impossible to handle...only to let them know that God for one is here for them and that I am here with them so they don't have to be alone.

Psalm 91:11-12
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

Amen

Saturday Night "Live"

2009-08-29T23:03:00.002-05:00

Acts 1: 7-8
He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you..."

As I was reading this passage today it reminded me of some of things I have talked about from the beginning of Kendall's Journey. This is Kendall's Journey, through my eyes. My day to day experiences with her have increased my Faith in God. I can help make her comfortable, console her when she is in pain and support her in her time of need. But this Journey, I cannot complete it for her. How and why we all wonder what made this happened to this young, beautiful person. A person who in my eyes has been very much loved by many wonderful family members and dear friends. I feel as some of that scripture is telling me that we will know when He wants us to. I cannot control this no matter how hard I try. No matter what I say or do. By writing this...I feel as all of you are right here with us. And believe me when I say that you are all needed. You have helped make this journey what it is.....

....As we approach the end of her initial treatments, I find myself thinking about how life itself has changed in just a little less than a month. We have several doctors appointments next week that will decide whether we can move on to part two of this treatment or having to repeat the first part again. Minus a few setbacks, we feel as if everything has been right on schedule. No doubt a learning curve day by day. Hoping that a quick trip home is right over the horizon. We still have a long way to go and are going to take every day as one of God's blessing. Thanking him for each and every day that we have to make a difference and follow the path that God has chosen for us.

Kendall's blood levels continue to improve in some areas and others we still are struggling to keep up. But her attitude and demeanor continue to amaze me throughout the day. I took Kendall and Tammy to the exercise room and had them on the treadmill today. Tammy continued to work on the puzzle as Kendall was waist deep in the scrapbook. As for me, I know you're thinking knitting, but I lost the needles and was unable to knit. I'm wondering if someone hid them. I didn't think the hats were all that bad. Well, I'm going to get a nice one tomorrow and continue the knitting of hats.

Don't want to be too long so I'll end it here. It's time to give Kendall her medicine for the night.

Normal

2009-08-29T01:39:00.002-05:00

Friday is going to be an easy day for us today. The doctors appointment was not to early today. We were in and out really quick today. Only to have scheduled several more visits. Kendall's pain in her legs has increased a little over the last couple of days which could be because of the medications she is currently on or because of the chemotherapy treatments or a combination of both. We scheduled to have another MRI to be done next week to check Kendall's progress. Hard to say until the bone marrow aspiration is done but the doctors feel as if everything is going as planned. Kendall was feeling rather well today so we decided to go to Hobby Lobby and walk around. She wanted to find some stuff to "scrapbook" with. I bought some stuff as well that I will go into later. We then picked up some lunch and went back to the apartment to hang out. Kendall worked on scrapbooking and Tammy began to work a puzzle that she picked up the other day. And I began to knit. Yes, I said knit. You see, this morning when I went to give Kendall her IV, I noticed a more than usual amount of hair laying around the dresser and on the bed. Kendall had said that it started coming out last night. It wasn't so much that you could tell by looking at her but it is definitely coming out. The doctors told us that it would and some said it wouldn't. But either way, Kendall has been preparing for it. Kendall doesn't wear hats to often but does like to wear toboggans.She has been looking for one but has not been able to find one that she likes. So I decided that I would make her one.

As I sat in the chair knitting her yellow toboggan, I did think it looked a might odd, me a 250 pound bald guy knitting a yellow hat. But I don't care. If it will help Kendall ease through the transition with losing her hair, it's well worth it.So when I finished it, it looked....ok. Kendall and Tammy thought it looked better than what it should since I did it. So the reviews were so good, I did another one.

After dinner, Tammy and Kendall wanted some ice cream and Kendall wanted Dairy Queen. The nearest Dairy Queen is on the other side of Houston. So...off we go. Nice little drive that took about an hour and a half to complete. So we get back to the apartment and settle in for the night. It's about time I give Kendall her night dose of antibiotics and her PICC Line is clogged. Nothing would go in. I'm calling the nurse, the doctor to find out what we need to do......and you guess it. A trip to the ER. Just what we needed around midnight. Back to the car, we all load up and take the road trip to the hospital. The ER is not to full, they see Kendall fairly quick. They call in an IV nurse and she finally was able to unclog the line. The nurse said that it is normal that the lines clog up. Well, it wasn't normal for me. I was freaking out. Kendall had to have her medication and I thought maybe I did something to the line this afternoon. But the nurse said it actually happens all the time, it was normal. We get out of there right at 1:00am only to have to return this morning at 9:45am for more test.

On the way back to the apartment, we see a huge Possum in the bushes as we are pulling in. As we get out to walk up the stairs, Kendall yells "Possum" and Tammy screamed at the top of her lungs. All the neighbors are up now. Me and Kendall laughed all the way inside. Tammy was not very pleased. But it just goes to show you that Kendall is feeling real well and I'm glad that things are a little normal.

I also talked to Dylan several times tonight. He was at the football game helping out as one of the managers for the team. I want to thank Coach Myric for asking him to help out. He has been so excited all week about the game and I wish I could have seen him in action tonight on the sideline.

Proverbs 17:6
Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

AML

2009-08-27T20:52:00.003-05:00

What does AML really mean. Acute Myeloid Leukemia. That's the medical term they use but how on earth can you decipher that. I've been doing doing alot of reading up on this subject and none of it is easy. None of it makes me happy. Especially when part of the diagnosis is t8;21. That too often reminds me of my birthday, August 21. So we fight through it, picking up a little more knowledge of this disease as we go along. Every day I understand it more than the day before. I don't know if that's a good thing. I think I would rather still be in the dark on this subject....

...Kendall had a few doctors visits today including more blood work and another Lumbar Puncture and chemotherapy treatment. Her blood levels were better and worse than they were yesterday. How can they be both. I could try and explain it but I would not do it justice so I'll just settle for it was both. Kendall was told she needed more platelets today before the procedure. They took her back and we saw Adrian waiting for us. Adrian is one of the Physicians Assistants that has worked on Kendall before. He really explains things well for us. We were glad to see a familiar face back there. Then I began thinking that if we now know the names of medical people that are working on Kendall, that we must really be spending alot of time at the hospital. I think I asked Adrian a million questions today. He was probably glad to get away from me. But now that I know a little more about Leukemia, I seem to know more questions to ask about.

We went to the apartment right after and Kendall went to sleep. She has been in a little more pain today than normal. I finished up some paperwork for the hospital and Tammy read some out of a book. Not much excitement went on today. While Kendall was asleep, I did get a chance to go workout at the apartment gym. Not alot of variety but I haven't been to the gym in about a month. There are two guys I work with that probably think they are going to catch up to me. Cotton....Baker....you guy's better stay after it because I only have one number for you....405.

Kendall was up around 8:00pm and did eat some dinner. Her energy level also picked up a little but not much. Rest will probably do her a lot of good. She can sleep late tomorrow because the doctor visits won't start until 11:00am. I think we will watch another movie tonight before we go to bed and enjoy Kendall's mood for awhile.

As far as the meaning of AML. Acute Myeloid Leukemia is one definition of the word and that just sounds so bad. Even though it is what it is, I'm going to look at it from a different point of view. " Another Miracle Lord" is what Kendall needs, is what her family and friends need and Lord it's what I need......

A.S.A.P.

2009-08-26T22:44:00.002-05:00

ASAP (as soon as possible) is what the doctor said this morning while he was in Kendall's room. He was pleased that her fever was gone and again commented on her "happy" attitude. The doctor said that he wished more of his patients acted as good as Kendall did. But we didn't go home empty handed. Kendall is to continue her IV antibiotics from an outpatient status. Kendall will have to continue receiving her antibiotics through the IV instead of in pills. A nurse came around and showed us how to change out the IV and care and clean it just as if she was in the hospital. And more medications.

When we arrived at the apartment, their was a sigh of relief between the 3 of us. No, it's not home but it sure is better than being in the hospital. I began to rearrange Kendall's schedule as it all has changed a little bit. Reorganized her medications to dispense and review her new diet. The doctors haven't restricted her diet too much, but with some of the medications that she is taking we had to modify it a little. We then had to wait on a nurse to bring out all of Kendall's medication and supplies for the IV. As soon as that was done, Kendall wanted to get out for a while. We went to Target and walked around. It was good to get her moving instead of watching her sit in the bed. I think the exercise did her some good. We then ordered take out at a local Chinese restaurant and went back to the apartment to watch a movie. Dinner and a movie. I was a little sad because Dylan wasn't here to watch the movie with us. So we called the kids to see what they were doing. They had all ate together at Bragan's and Bretts house tonight. It was good to hear that things are carrying on as normal as possible in Gardendale.

I talked to some friends and family members tonight and wanted to thank all of them for keeping us in your thoughts. I feel so blessed to have a group of people not only in my life but also in Kendall's life that care about us the was you do. I had lunch with my mother today and was telling her that there are so many good people in the world and how thankful I was to just know them. Kendall's journey is definitely becoming life changing for many of us, me especially. I see things from a different angle. I'm learning more and more every day. I can't seem to find the words to describe exactly what it is that's going on but I will keep searching for them.

A.S.A.P. means exactly what it says. It may be now, an hour from now or even tomorrow. But As Soon As Possible in Gods time is soon enough for me....

Carpe diem

2009-08-25T23:59:00.001-05:00

This morning was filled with great expectations as Kendall is going to get to come back to the apartment today. I know she is getting tired of hospital visits. I made the early morning visit as usual to find Tammy and Kendall ready and waiting on the doctor to come in to tell us that we can go. The great expectation was no more. They wanted to keep Kendall one more night and continue antibiotics. Even though Kendall's fever was gone, she is still at risk and they need to monitor her. This is not what we wanted to hear. Kendall didn't say a word. She just sat in the bed with that Kendall Thomas look. You know, the face that she would give Coach Myrick during a softball game when things wouldn't go her way. That same look she would give her mother when she yelled at her from the bleachers. That same look she would give me when she got hurt. And this one hurt. Kendall wants to go home! I know it and I want to take her there so much. As soon as the doctors left, she began to cry. And of course me and Tammy right there with her. I sat on the bed and held her as we tried to talk it out. Why can't we go home? How long are we going to have to be here? Only God knows the answers to these questions. But at some point, I have to look more towards a multiple choice type of answer and say pick the best one out of three, but yet all three could be right. And then there's the "none of the above" answer in there for good measure. It's hard not knowing how to answer these questions, knowing that I should turn to God for it. I do. But it's so hard to do when it is staring you in the face...

...I then talked with Kendall about understanding that we could be staying in Houston for several months. We have not really talked about it since all of this has started. I told her that we needed to prepare ourselves to stay longer should she have any more complications with the treatment. We don't know how her body is going to react to the treatment. Everything can change here on a moments notice. I didn't want to discourage her, because I don't want to be here any longer than we have to, but I do want her to completely understand that just a simple fever can turn her entire treatment program upside down. I think all of us realized more than ever that no matter how long the road is, we are ready to travel it.

We had a visit today from my parents. They were in New Orleans on a scheduled vacation trip and decided to drop in on us. A 6 hour drop bye visit. I love my parents! They went to lunch with Tammy while me and Kendall stayed in the room and colored pictures.. They visited a little longer and then they took all of us out to dinner. We ate at the MD Anderson cafeteria and Kendall was able to go with us, mask and all. We had to check her out of the room but she needed to exercises anyway. Kendall hates so much that she missed out on AUM's softball bootcamp with Coach Chris. Coach, I'm going to keep her in shape so she can make that one up. After we ate, we said goodbye to Tammy and my parents as they made their way to the apartment to spend the night. Me and Kendall went back to the room and got ready to go to bed.

As much as I want tomorrow to be here to take Kendall "home", I read this and am once again reminded of my priority.

Matthew 6:33-34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God, I pray.......

2009-08-24T21:54:00.004-05:00

Started off this morning real early. The nurses came into Kendall's room all night about every hour or sooner. Taking her fever and getting her vitals. She ran a fever all night long. She woke up feeling ok but tired. The day nurse came in to tell Kendall that her blood counts were way down so she will be receiving blood and platelets this morning. After all of that and the antibiotics, her fever finally broke around lunch. The Doctor told that he was going to keep Kendall one more just for observation and may release her tomorrow, provided that she is not running a fever. The Doctor couldn't tell me what may have caused the fever but I think he was a little surprised at how good Kendall felt. He said he would be around tomorrow to check her levels again. Another day of coloring, word puzzles and the computer.

Kendall had another round of chemo in the Lumbar Puncture this afternoon and after that she really sleep the rest of the afternoon. Me and Tammy watched a movie and napped a little bit ourselves.

Today as I watched Kendall and Tammy nap, I began to re-read some of my earlier posts. Nineteen days have gone by since we found out the official diagnosis of Kendall's disease. How her life has changed, how all of our lives has changed. We have talked to many people about living with Leukemia since the beginning, Tammy especially. Everyone has had a different experience but yet all are somewhat related to one another. It affects other people the same way it has affected us.

I won't go in much detail but tonight I began to pray for everyone who has been diagnosed with Leukemia, their families and their friends. Somewhere out there, there is someone hurting because of this and I pray that God could be with that person. Nobody should have to go through this kind of Journey alone. I pray that God embraces them and makes them feel warm. I pray that He also is able to ease their pain by revealing His plan to them. They will no longer have to worry about what to do next. God will show them. God, I pray.........

Timing, it's all about timing!

2009-08-23T22:18:00.002-05:00

Where do I begin? There has been so much to happen this weekend, I can't believe it's almost over. We started out Saturday morning with a scheduled trip to the hospital. Kendall wanted to Chase to go to help answer some of the questions that he has been asking. I told Chase that the hospital trip would be long and boring but I knew there was no way we were going without him. They had to check Kendall's blood levels. They were as expected, LOW. There was a lot of people there and it took several hours to just get the results. There were a couple of issues that the doctor said needed some attention and that would be our goal the rest of the day. We went back to the apartment to be greeted by Whitney, Emily, Michelle and Dylan. The day went much as expected. We broke out the Wii for a little while. Then we got tired so we watched a movie. Followed up by more games. The kids found out that there was a Buffalo Wild Wings down here so that was on the agenda for lunch. Kendall of course couldn't go so they brought every thing back and we had our own party in the apartment. The Houston Texans were also playing last night and there was alot of traffic and people out. The stadium is only a couple of blocks from where we are staying and I almost considered taking Dylan to a game. But we decided to go swimming instead. Me and Dylan went to the pool while the rest of them stayed inside. We swam for about an hour and then Dylan became hungry. We went back to the apartment to eat with everybody. Tammy was cooking spaghetti while Kendall and Emily were taking a nap. The rest of them went out to find a Texas Longhorn shirt.We all carried on into the night and before we knew it, it was after 11:00pm. I think everyone was tired from a long but very positive day for Kendall. She was so excited and glowing to see some of her family and friends. I didn't want to go to sleep for fear that when I wake up it was going to be a sad today because everyone had to go home. I wondered how Kendall was going to be after everyone was gone and she was left with me and Tammy. But we will face that tomorrow.......

.......I woke up early today, around 6:00am and everyone was still asleep. I watched the tv for a little while and then decided to go check on Kendall. I went in her room to check her temperature, which I do about 4-5 times a day, and she was running a fever. It was over the limit that they told us to watch out for. I told Kendall to get dressed, that we had to go to the emergency room. I woke up Tammy to tell her that we needed to take Kendall back to hospital because of she was running a fever. So instead of eating breakfast with everyone and giving them a proper send off back to Birmingham, we were headed to the ER....

...The ER took us back really quick and put Kendall in a room. Nurses began coming by and drawing blood and taking her temperature. Just like old times. Didn't we just leave all of this? We stayed there patiently until one of the doctors told us they were going to admit Kendall to the hospital to run some more tests. By now, the gang has arrived and are in the waiting room. I went down to tell them the news and to let a couple of them come up to say goodbye. I stayed with Dylan in the waiting room as they all made their way up to see Kendall. Dylan has been good all weekend and now he starts to get upset. This wasn't exactly the goodbye I had in mind. Dylan began to cry and told me that he loved me. He then asked when was he going to see me again. I didn't know what to say. I started to cry and told him that it wouldn't be long. We would be home real soon. I told him not to be upset and that it will be alright. I again received a hug identical to the hug I got when they first came to the apartment. I hugged everybody else and thanked them for coming and told them that it meant alot to Kendall for them to come. Tammy then walked them out to the car to say her goodbye....

...I went back to Kendall's room only to find her laughing with Chase like nothing at all was going on. Once again she has shown that she is determined to not let any situation bring her down. Chase stayed with her until it was his time to leave. I took him to the airport around 2:00pm. We talked about Kendall, of course, and about her treatment. I did comment on his attire today. He was wearing a Texas Longhorn shirt and ball cap. I told him that was odd, knowing what a big Alabama fan he is and then I thought, maybe there's hope in converting him to the Auburn side. When We get back, I think I'll take him and Kendall to an Auburn game. Maybe that will be enough.

Well now we are at the hospital, admitted to a room. Kendall's fever is down a little bit still to high. Hasn't lost her appetite and says she feels good. We will wait it out and find out what the doctor has to say about it tomorrow. Maybe we can go back to the apartment in a day or so. Her blood counts are still down really low and they are giving her some blood. Everything looks better in the morning, well I hope it does. It sure didn't look good this morning.

Thank you for the cards that we have been receiving. Kendall thanks you as well. It still is amazing the love shown by our God and by our family and friends during this time in Kendall's journey. This would not be possible without all of you.

I found another scripture tonight that I would like to share. As I was reading it, I began to think how many times could I have placed this scripture in a situation that I was facing. Trusting the Lord, that's what this is all about. I have been active, off and on in the church my entire life. I was saved in my senior year of high school and was baptised at my church several years ago at Gardendale First Baptist Church. All of this that I have done, but have I really been listening to what I have been reading about. I believe in God and know that he has a plan for everyone out there. He has given us a path to take and it is up to us to take it. I personally want to go the path with God at my side. I know Kendall has chosen this path as well.

Isaiah 42:16
"I will lead the blind by a road they do not know, by paths they have not known I will guide them, I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I will do, I will not forsake them."

What's Happy About Today

2009-08-21T21:26:00.003-05:00

Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – (NIV)

Today was my birthday. This is the best present that I received. What else could one want? Well, I used my birthday wish on Kendall. Now you know I can't tell you what I wished for, but it's probably not to hard to figure out........

......We started early today as Whitney, Emily, Michele and Dylan arrived really early. Around 5'ish. Dylan was first to greet me with a bear hug that squeezed the breath out of me. Hard to believe that it has only been a week since I have seen him. I had to practically carry him up the stairs to the apartment. I barely got them settled into their room when Kendall woke up. She described it as waking up on Christmas morning. She peeked her head out of the room to see if anyone was there. I don't know if we were loud coming in or she was already awake. Nonetheless, the look on everyone's faces was bright and smiles all the way around. I tried to get Kendall back to sleep but their was too much excitement going on to be sleeping. I also knew that it was going to be more exciting later with the arrival of Chase. The girls wanted breakfast and went to McDonald's only to be disappointed to find out that they do not serve "gravy biscuits" out here. Not at the one they went to anyway. As soon as they were about to wind down it was time to pick up Chase from the airport. We were running a little bit behind schedule as today was the day we had to change the CVC dressing, I.V. connectors, flush the lines and still take her medicine. Not to mention that she had to fix herself up before she could see Chase. I had to threaten to leave her at the apartment because we were going to be late if we didn't go now. She then beat me to the car before we left....

....We arrived at the airport and were parking when Kendall received a text from Chase telling her that he had landed. I could tell Kendall wanted to go with me inside the airport to meet him but I was nervous enough with her just being outside. Of course, we had the mask on her but I really thought she might show up behind me anyway. I meet Chase inside and I began to talk with him about the flight. He said it was fine, no problems. We talked about Kendall as we walked out to the car. The closer we came to the car the more I could tell that Chase wasn't really paying attention to me anymore, he was looking for Kendall. We came within two rows of the car and Kendall had already got out and met Chase half way. I continued on to the car to find Tammy crying inside. After everybody collected themselves, we were off to the apartment....

...Back at the apartment, it began to storm and rain. It's like it was a huge cleansing from God to wash all the germs away so Kendall can have a good time with her family and friends. We ordered pizza and watched movies. We played dominoes and took naps. We even had birthday cake! All of this going on and I prayed that everything would be fine. I'm gonna tell you that I wasn't sure about having any kind of visitors until Kendall was "out of the danger zone" so to speak. I want to put her in a bubble to protect her from everything. I know that I can't. But that is exactly what I was going to do until I had a long talk with one of Kendall's doctors yesterday. He explained the risks to me of Kendall being exposed to bacteria while her white blood cells were down. But he didn't think that isolating her was the "best" medicine. There are ways to control her exposure through wearing masks, washing hands and just everyday cleaning. Human contact is very important to ones self healing and to keep her from any type of contact with loved ones would be placing more stress on her. He said they have had numerous successful patients come through the treatment without complete isolation. Being smart and aware is the key. I talked it over with Kendall and Tammy and it was decided that we would all be more aware of our surroundings and do what was needed to be done for Kendall. Kendall was happy with this, and deep down I was happy that she was happy but I still have my doubts.

It was so good to see everyone today and one could say that I had a good birthday. With all that is going on with Kendall, the last thing I wanted to do was celebrate a birthday. But I had both family members and friends remind me that today was a Happy Birthday to me. I love them and thank them for remembering me as well during Kendall's journey. I guess all of this kind of answered my own doubts about having contact, because I know how Blessed it made me feel to hear them and I could not possible take away those feelings from Kendall. I hope that she can forgive me for even thinking about it. Sometimes things cloud your judgement and it's always good for your family and friends to be there to pick you up when your down. I guess it's good to try and keep things as normal as possible but it's hard to do that when facing something like this. I want to make sure everything is perfect because I don't want to give any advantage to Leukemia. I pray that Kendall's journey is manageable and victorious. Any other way WILL NOT not do....

God Bless all of you tonight...

Looking for Friday

2009-08-20T23:31:00.004-05:00

......I cannot find the words to describe the events of today. No matter how I re-word it, it still comes out the same. Today, Kendall began showing some noticeable signs of her battle today. Even though she tried to hide them, they were very visible to me. The fatigue was the biggest one today. I can see it in her eyes, her posture and even her voice. Don't get me wrong, Kendall is still winning, I can just the signs more clearly. We all knew that this is going to be a tough and long fight ahead of her....

...The day started with a minor trip to the doctor for blood work and a lumbar puncture. Once we were there, we weren't able to leave until around 5:00pm. Had a few unscheduled events occur while we were there. But we did get to leave. Kendall was tired the majority of the day as Tammy and me would try and lift her spirit up. All Kendall had to do is think about her visitors coming to see her on Friday and that would bring her up to speed. I know she is excited about seeing everyone. I do hope that she is feeling better so that she can enjoy being around them.

Dinner and movie was about all that was on the agenda tonight. Everyone was off to bed right after the movie so we can start fresh for our visitors tomorrow.

Family Time

2009-08-19T22:07:00.005-05:00

If you were to tell me today that Kendall had Leukemia, there's no way I would believe you. I would probably get mad at you for even saying such a thing. Minus a little incident this morning, today was a day that I pray we continue to have until this disease is out of her completely. Kendall had a little pain this morning when we first woke up. It seemed to magnify over the next hour as I was on the phone with the hospital asking them what we needed to do. They ended up calling in a prescription to the pharmacy to help ease Kendall's pain. It was around lunch time before Kendall had any relief. After that, Kendall was the same ole Kendall the rest of the day.

I was busy today gathering and dispensing all of Kendall her medication. I also flushed her CVC, took her temperature and had to weigh her several times today. Of course, all of this I recorded into my Kendall notebook/daily planner. We cleaned her room and wiped down everything again today for good measure. And my hands, hand washing is a must. Every time we do something we are washing our hands. Whatever it takes right, or better, It's Whatever!

We rented some movies tonight and then just spent a nice, quiet evening at the apartment. No pain, no stress, no Kendall being sick. Tammy cooked breakfast and lunch and then told us we were on our on for dinner. I cannot seem to properly work the pictures tonight for some reason. I will continue to work on them so I can post them soon. I have been very tired today so I think I will turn in early because tomorrow Kendall has several doctors appointments in the morning. They will be checking her blood levels and I think she will be receiving another Lumbar Puncture.

This was a good family day but my family is not whole right now. Whitney, Chad and Karsyn, I miss all of you so much and greatly appreciate the things you have done for us. Bragan and Brett, starting out your new life together is hard enough, I want you both to know we wish we could be with you to help you share in your fresh new start with each other and we love you. Dylan, my son, I feel this is hardest on you losing not only Kendall but your mom and me as well. I so look forward to seeing you this weekend and hope that you can understand that even though I cannot be with you right now, that I will be with you soon, when Kendall is better. And that will be soon, I promise. I love all of you and promise to bring the family back together for those Sunday dinners.

Ecclesiastics 6:16 A faithful friend is the medicine of life; and they that fear the Lord shall find him.

A Step Forward

2009-08-18T21:22:00.006-05:00

Blood draws, test results and a whole bunch of new faces. As we pass the last of chemotherapy in Kendall's treatment, I must say now, looking back, we are actually on that roller coaster ride that was talked about in our last group meeting. Though we get over this one hill, I see numerous more approaching and they are approaching fast. I do want to say how relieved we are to have Kendall discharged from the hospital. I know that all of us will probably rest better knowing that we have finished this first hurdle. Kendall is so happy and the smile she has is so brite. I don't want anything to take it away from her. ...

....The doctor came in this morning and said that things are where they are supposed to be and that they see no reason to keep Kendall in the hospital any longer. They gave us a list of things that need to be done once we leave. The biggest concern is Kendall catching an infection. We have to be so careful not to expose her to anything that could harm her...germs! How do you tell a 19 year old college student, who has an abundance of loving family and friends that want to see her, that everything she does or every person she sees for the next several weeks could potentially harm her. How do you protect someone like that. Here is where all that "tactical" training, sorry Chief, that I have received over the years comes in to play. Germs are the enemy and I'm here to wipe them out. Short of buying hand sanitizer and cleaning products, I will make the apartment Kendall's safe zone. She won't have to worry about anything in the apartment, right! Who am I kidding, of course she is. The hospital gave us a strict set of rules that we need to follow and we will. This goes for the inside the apartment or outside in the big open spaces of Texas. Masks are our friends. We all at one time or another will be wearing them. It won't be easy but we will learn to deal with it.

Kendall sat on the couch tonight spending a lot of time talking to Tammy. Nothing bad just girl talk, I guess. She was also texting and emailing her friends. It was good to see the two of them relaxed a little bit and enjoying each others company outside the hospital. We also got to talk to Dylan and my parents on the web cam for a little while. Dylan is excited about coming out here this weekend. Whitney, Emily and Chase will be here as well. I hope it is a good weekend for Kendall. The doctor said that Kendall could possibly have her worse symptoms a few days after the treatment has stopped. Either way it will be good to see Dylan, I miss him. He has had a rough time as well and I pray that I can comfort him a little more when I see him.

I don't want to take away the excitement of the day for Kendall being discharged from the hospital, so I'm going to close here. I have some new pics that I will post tomorrow of Kendall leaving the hospital.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Phillipians 4:13

2009-08-17T21:46:00.004-05:00

I can do All things through Christ who strengthens me! I constantly remind myself of this every day. Every day I feel the weight pressing down on me and I keep pressing it up. I press back to the point where I think I can handle it ....and I drop it. I reach to pick it back up and it's twice as heavy as it was before. How much do we really know about Leukemia? Can this really change people's life as it has ours. Can it be worse? Can it be better? I don't know a right way or a wrong way to answers these questions but I know that God is in charge and he has lead us here to Houston for a reason.....

.....Today was the day we were supposed to take Kendall out of the hospital. I arrived at the hospital carrying empty bags to load up all of Kendall's belongings. The doctors made their rounds a little bit early today. I'm thinking every thing is going great and we might even get out of here earlier than expected. Well....that wasn't the case. They said they wanted to give Kendall another round of chemotherapy and monitor her overnight. I braced myself, because I know Kendall, and I knew that something was about to get broke. But instead, Kendall starred and the doctors and said "ok". Wow! That did not go as I expected it to either. They discussed their plans with us and said they would see us in the morning. Kendall was very calm but I could tell that she was not happy....

...Kendall was due to have chemotherapy around lunch time so we decided to go for a walk. We went down to the lobby and then back outside to our park bench. We sat there for almost an hour talking. She looked more relaxed once we were outside, I just hoped that we could stay outside a little longer. But we had to go back to the room for the last treatment.

Back in the room, they came to give Kendall chemotherapy, so me and Tammy went to a group meeting consisting of several other patients and family members from the 6th floor as well as a couple of nurses. We had a chance to meet other people that have or are experiencing the same thing we are going through with Kendall. We also had a chance to ask questions to other nurses about treatment and such. I want to start off by saying that this was a very tough time to get through. It wasn't required or anything, but did make me more aware of how powerful Leukemia is. Powerful in that not only does it consume the lives of the patients and I'm very sorry that anyone should have to go through this, but also consumes the lives of family and friends. I almost had to leave because I didn't want to hear it. Tammy told me later that she almost left as well. I think this was the time that we both grabbed the other ones hand and held on tight. We both knew that this is something we needed to hear. We were the only ones that are "knew" to Leukemia. The others in the room have experienced it for quite some time. One quote from someone in the class was "this is like a long roller coaster ride and I want off!" Others were saying how long their hospital stay has been, months at a time. Some of them have had frightening, near death experiences while some of them were having no trouble at all with their treatment. All I could think about was Kendall. I wondered what kind of ride we are going to have. Then I thought about Tammy, the girls, Dylan, family and friends and then the other people that this has affected. We are not the only ones that are going through this or that have been down this road. How did we get to this point. We are so thankful to our family and friends that call or write, and check on Kendall, of course, but me and Tammy as well. Or to check on other family members. Some of these patients down here have nobody to help them. We owe everything to God. God has placed you, all of you, in Kendalls path to help show us the way.

As we three sat in the room tonight, we were all quiet. I can't help but to stare at Kendall and then at Tammy, not knowing what lays ahead for Kendall. ......

......Tammy has went to the apartment, Kendall is laying here asleep and I sit here thinking of a prayer....will you pray with me?

The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

the power and the glory,

for ever and ever.

Amen

One more day?

2009-08-17T17:05:00.003-05:00

Hey everybody, wanted to let you know that the doctor told Kendall that she needed one more treatment. So we won't be taking her to the apartment tonight. It's quite a long story so I will update as usual tonight. Just wanted to let everyone know.

Sunday in the South

2009-08-16T21:30:00.004-05:00

Another day almost officially over. The day seemed especially long today for some reason. Could it be that we are anticipating taking Kendall out of the hospital? Or is it that this will be her last chemotherapy treatment? Whatever it was, it made for a long day. Kendall was a little more tired today than the previous ones. I see that each day is growing harder for her, but she still smiles and laughs looking forward to Monday. Tammy came in this morning a little after 8:00am and said that going to the apartment didn't work. She slept for a little bit, but was up around 3:30am and could not go back to sleep. I think I would've had more sleep if Kendall had stopped hitting me with the pillow. Apparently, I have a snoring problem and kept her up. But Kendall sleep really good other than that. She said it's the most she has slept since we've been here. We did get up and share a midnight snack together. Doritos!!

We tried to get Kendall to go walk today and she said she didn't want to. She was quiet most of the day but did manage to color several more pictures. The nurse went over some of the procedures for being discharged tomorrow and said that the whole Leukemia team of doctors would meet with us to go over Kendall's treatment. She advised us of some of the things Kendall was going to have to do on a daily basis.

Not much else happened today, I'm leaving a little early to try and prepare the apartment a little more for Kendall's arrival tomorrow.

Philippians 4:13. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

A Ray of Sunshine

2009-08-15T22:12:00.007-05:00

Saturday morning. Sleep late, cut the grass, maybe swim in the pool some or just be lazy and rest up from the long work week. How quick someones life changes in the blink of an eye. You never think it is going to happen to you or to a loved one. But change can be dealt with. Change can make us grow stronger and bring us closer together. Its the worry and stress that comes along with it that's hard to deal with. I can see early on that there will probably be more worry and stress than one person should have to deal with. Kendall has been so strong all through this journey. I know the journey is just starting and we realize that it will be a long one. But I feel her strength in her family and friends. Many of you call to talk and check on Kendall. Many of you write or post on this blog. She continues to amaze us all and I say again, you are her strength.

This morning was much the same as the last few mornings. She did appear a little more worked up today and I could tell she was wanting to get out and move around. Chase would walk with her around the hospital in Birmingham and she always felt better when she got back. So I decided to do just that, we were going out for lunch....in the meantime, Tammy had to attend one of the Infusion Therapy classes today so she can help with Kendall's PICC line. While Tammy was gone, me and Kendall had some time to talk about what all was going on. This is the first time, since we've been in Houston, that I could really tell that she was scared. As she began to tear up and talk to me, I thought to myself, this is it, my time to show her how strong I can really be. Didn't work out the way I wanted it to. I teared up and cried with her. I told her it was going to be alright as I wrapped my arms around her and held on. You would think with my 20 years of being a police officer that I could find a way to protect her and keep her safe. But I can't, it's totally out of my hands. But whose hands would be better if they couldn't be mine....Gods hand. I told her I would be with her as long as it takes and that we would pray for HIM and that we believe in HIM. I then told her that I love her and we will get through this.....together......ALL of us....together. Kendall then said that we better dry it up because momma would be back any minute and she didn't need to catch the both of us "having a moment".

By the time Tammy came back, we both were better. We talked to the nurse about walking Kendall around and she gave us a furlough. We took Kendall to lunch in the cafeteria. She ate a slice of pizza then said it didn't taste right. She tried some english peas and they were a little better. After lunch we walked outside and sat in a little park area. Kendall just laid back in the chair and soaked up the sunshine. It reminded me of a picture that our neighbor drew for Kendall. Noah drew a picture at school and he drew Kendall as the sunshine. How true was that picture. Kendall was getting a solar charge from the sun and spreading her sunshine all around. I didn't think that me and Tammy was going to be enough support to get Kendall back in that hospital. It was nice as we all sat there and talked about.....well it didn't matter what we talked about. The sight of her relaxed was conversation enough. We did manage though to take her back inside and back to the room.

Tonight, me and Kendall had to gang up on Tammy so she would go back to the apartment and get some rest. Tammy has been going since Sunday morning without hardly any sleep. I could see that she was tired but it didn't matter to her. She wasn't going anywhere. I know where Kendall gets her stubbornness from. I told her that she couldn't do Kendall any good if she wasn't able to perform herself, she needs to get some rest. Tammy resisted at first and became emotional with Kendall, but did agree to go to the apartment.

It's about 11:30 and they just gave Kendall her chemotherapy treatment. She's just laying there asleep soaking it all in..... I think I'll sit back and let some of her rays reach out to me....

...my title was inspired by the picture that Noah drew for Kendall....thank you Noah!

....Tammy ...I hope your resting ok... I love you.....

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you

Kendall's Journey part 1

2009-08-15T16:44:00.003-05:00

After many hours of computer work, I finnaly figured out how to post the pics to music. Once I did it it was so easy, I don't why I couldn't figure it out earlier. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first part of many to come. I think my favorite part is of course going to the part when we bring her home!

Day's are growing longer

2009-08-15T00:07:00.004-05:00

I'm sorry it's so late tonight. I just had so much to get done. ....

......This morning was about the same as yesterday. I came in the hospital to Kendall sleeping and Tammy in the chair. Tammy said it was another long night and they didn't get much sleep. I sat their and stared at Kendall as me and Tammy quietly talked about all that's going on. I had to take my test today on being able to perform Infusion Therapy on Kendall. I passed! Kendall looked real nervous but I knew I could do it. So the nurse then gave me a package that contained about an 8 week supply of medical "stuff" to keep Kendall performing at top speed. Kendall looked really tired but she said it was only because they wouldn't let her sleep last night. They did the chemotherapy late again last night. Other than being sleepy, Kendall was feeling really good. ...

.....The doctor came in about 10:00am and told us that they were also going to give her chemotherapy through a spinal tap. They wanted to attack the Leukemia really hard. So Kendall is now getting chemo in the morning and at night. The doctor did tell Kendall that she liked coming in her room because she was always smiling. All the blood work so far is going according to schedule. Monday looks better by each day. Kendall also received some blood today and still an awful lot of pills.

Chuck stayed at the hotel with me last night and was able to visit with Kendall some before I had to take him to the airport. Chuck, we really want to thank you for bringing our car out here. So while Chuck was here, I got him to help me move into our apartment. I felt bad because by the time I finished the paperwork he had already taken all the heavy bags up to the room. Thanks again! I also wanted to give out our address. Some of the family and friends wanted to send Kendall some stuff so here it is:

2255 Braeswood Park Drive, # 2325
Houston, Texas 77030

You can address it to anyone of us and it will be fine.

So there wasn't much that went on today, it was just a long day for me. But Kendall doing as well as she is, I'd take it any day. I have been trying to add some more pictures and forgot how I did them last night. Hope to have them up before to long.

A Good Day

2009-08-13T22:37:00.003-05:00

...As I lay in bed this morning, alone in the hotel room, I keep thinking that if I stay in the bed and don't get out that maybe we can skip this day in Kendall's journey. I mean, if I don't get out of bed, it must still be a dream. Those thoughts didn't last too long as I received a call from Dylan at 6:30am. Dylan began to talk as if he has been up for several hours. His voice was excited and he was eager to tell me to have a good day and that he loved me. He was feeding the dogs, usually my job, before he went to school. He made sure to tell me to tell Kendall hi and that he loved her too. He then said he had to call and he would call me later. That was enough to get me out of the bed and to get ready to go see Kendall....

..... Last night was Kendall's first chemotherapy treatment and I just knew it was going to be rough this morning, wondering how many of those side effects she was experiencing. She had also told me that she would call me when she got up this morning so I can expect to be up early. But Kendall's phone call never came. I walked in the hospital room a little after 8:00am to find Kendall still asleep. Tammy was awake and sitting in the chair. Tammy said that it was a rough night. The nurses were in the room all night and neither one of them got much sleep. I kissed Kendall on the head and she rolled her eyes up at me and I knew we were in for a long day.Tammy also looked like she was going to have a rough day as well. So I sat there quietly and flipped through some Leukemia paperwork until it was time to go to Infusion Therapy class.

Infusion Therapy class is exactly what I thought it would be like. It was a room full of people learning how to take care of a PICC Line for their loved one. What was interesting was that these people have the same blank and confused look on there face as I did mine. We all sat through it and listened to the nurse explain the procedure. Then we were told we had to complete a second class and then take a test for the third class to be "able" to properly care for the PICC Line.
It's Whatever it has to be because I'm going to go through it all. I went back to the room and Kendall was stirring around a little bit. She said she was feeling a little bit better and hungry. That's a good sign right?Hungry? Anyone that wants to eat has to be feeling ok. I went to the second class and it was the same as the one before. They just want you to have 2 logged in sessions of the class to make sure we understand. So I'm set to take the test and perform my first PICC Line change and flush on guess who? That's right, Kendall!!! I don't think she was very excited about that and asked if a nurse was going to be in here...

....By this time it was near 4:00pm and I had an appointment to look at some apartments. Besides that, Chuck, had drove our car out here and was back at the motel waiting on me. I take care of that and back to the hospital to see Kendall and Tammy. We all sat in the room for a while and talked and Kendall was glowing. No, not from the chemotherapy. She was just overwhelmingly in a good mode. Talking, laughing, texting and being herself. It was wonderful. She has made a complete turn around from this morning. I can only hope that she feels like this all the time. It was so refreshing to have her be in a good mood. Oh YEAH,....I forgot to tell you. The doctor came in to tell us that IF the treatment goes well and all the bloodwork is normal, we maybe able to take Kendall out of the hospital sometime Monday. Now there is alot of things that can happen between now and then but it was good news to hear. Life at the apartment will be very different but manageable. Adjustments will have to be made and it will throw Kendall out of her comfort zone a little but she is looking forward to leaving the hospital.

....Overall, it was a good day. Kendall turned in a positive day with minimal side effects, Dylan still loves me for leaving him in Birmingham, we were able to see a friend from Gardendale and are still receiving phone calls and emails of support from all of you. I want to thank you again for thinking of us and want you to know that we could not be here without you. Thank you!

I will post some information tomorrow with better details on donating blood. The doctors said that Kendall will possibly need blood and platelets during this time and that if anyone would be willing to donate, it would be a great help. There is a way that when you donate, it can be credited for Kendall to receive but could also help others with Leukemia as well. I will post more information on this tomorrow.

Don't forget to look at the pictures I put up !

The Results Are In

2009-08-12T19:46:00.003-05:00

.....Wednesday morning....6:15am...I wake up in the hospital laying in a chair bed next to Kendall. She is the first thing I see. She is looking over in my direction....either out the window or at me. I tell her good morning and was not expecting what I heard next. The first thing out of her mouth was "I'm ready to get started with this." No time to wake up, get adjusted or even get a cup of coffee. She has made up her mind and is 100% ready to take on the big "C". When it comes to Kendall being ready to do something and she has it on her mind, there's no stopping her. I hope that I could be as confident as her in continuing this journey. She shows no fear. Now me, I want to do some recon on the subject and figure out the best way, tactically, to defeat it. But it has been very apparent today that the doctors here at MD Anderson have done all the recon necessary to help Kendall fight her battle. ...
......Tammy slept at the hotel last night as it was my turn to hold watch. I hope she got some rest because tonight could be the night that sets the pace for the first of Kendall's many treatments....

.....The doctors came in today around lunch time and explained to us what exactly what Kendall will be dealing with. Leukemia 8;21 was the final results of all this testing and retesting. The doctor said that it's a very "favorable" treatment but it will be intense. The first part of treatment is called Induction. It will be 5 days of chemotherapy treatment with 3 different types of anti-cancer drugs. They will monitor her blood for the next few weeks to see how she responds to the treatment. There's a chance that she will be discharged from the hospital next week but will be on limited action for 3 to 4 weeks. She will ,however, be with us at an apartment. The doctors then said if the first treatment worked then we can move on to part 2. So then part 2 will consist of 5 more additional treatments spanned out over the next 6 to 7 months. Each treatment consisting of a 4 day spell back in the hospital. The treatments should be about every 4 to 6 weeks apart. And in between these treatments we will be having to go to different doctors to draw and monitor blood about every 2 to 3 days. Dont let me forget that they will be performing bone marrow aspiration about every treatment period.....I know it sounds like alot and believe me we have another notebook full of information about what to do. I think you need to go to medical school just to understand it.

SO...with all of this fresh in our mind, what does Kendall think about....Hey, lets go cut my hair! Here we go again, wheeling her down to the beauty shop. This time no excuse was going to work. Kendall had about 5 inches of her hair cut off. Kendall said she wanted to start off gradually. I had left her with Tammy while I went off to handle some other business and when I returned I had to look twice to make sure this person was Kendall. I know it's only 5 inches but Kendall has always had long hair. The more I stared at her the more beautiful it looked......

.....Back in the room we still had some other doctors and her case manager came in going over more information. Kendall decided she wanted to take a nap so me and Tammy went and looked at some different places to stay that the case manager gave us to check out.

About 8:00pm, the nurse, Susan, came in to give Kendall her first treatment. The nurse gives her about 8 or so pills, put drops in her eyes, placed a couple of more bags on the IV poll and gave her several shots. As I prepare to leave Kendall with Tammy tonight, I cant help but think about what else I'm suppose to do for her. But right now its just to sit with her and learn about as much about this as I can.

Today was especially hard for a couple of reasons. Dylan started school today and I wasn't there to be with him. I can't hug him or see him get on or off the bus. I can't be there to see his facial reactions about his first day and I'm sorry. This is nobody's fault but I want to tell him I wish I could be there with him as well but I will see him soon. I love you Dylan.

I want to thank our family and friends for their continued support and prayers for Kendall. Know that we think about all of you every day and thank God that we have been blessed with loving people in our lives....

What Day Is It?

2009-08-11T20:39:00.003-05:00

As day 2 in Houston comes to a close, I sit here, going through my notebook, trying to figure out what is the next move. I can't even remember what day it is, how long we've been here or what needs to get done now. I take notes when the doctors are in. I try and write down things they tell me I will need to do in the future with Kendall. Today, the doctors were telling us about the classes we need to take to be able to clean the pic line that is connected to Kendall. About how we needed to make sure something is flushed out and something is changed regularly. About how much we will have to do for this thing and how we need to handle that thing. I'm hurriedly making chicken scratch in one section of the notebook for care and then in the hospital personnel section when we meet a new nurse or doctor. All I could think is that I'm not even the patient and I have to do all of this. I cannot even begin to think how Kendall must feel. I want to take away her pain so much and I can't. So I look at Kendall to try and offer a smile of encouragement or to tell her that I love her and she looks so relaxed and comfortable like none of this is bothering her. The strength that she must have to take all this in is unbelieveable. I need to be taking lessons from her.......

.....So the doctors do more tests, more blood work and have even done more MRI's. They told us today that all the final test results should be in late tomorrow or Thursday morning. They will tell us what type exactly of Leukemia she has and how they are going to treat it. They also said that she could possibly make it to outpatient status in a few weeks. Outpatient status means we still have to be in Houston but she will not have to be admitted in the hospital. We will have to bring her in for daily treatments and doctors appointments. This could all last up to 4 to 6 weeks if everything goes well. All of this, of course, could change tomorrow and it could be that we have to be here for 6 months. It's Whatever it is cause I'm here for the long haul. We are staying in a motel right now, well I mean our stuff is there, but we are looking for something for an extended stay. The social services department has been wonderful meeting with us and helping us get adjusted. We have even meet some other people in the hospital and they have told us about their expierences living with Leukemia. Some of their expierences have been amazing while some of them have been stuggling for a year. I then began to wonder what kind of expierence ours is going to be with Kendall. If I know Kendall, it is going to be amazing because fighting for something has always been right up her alley. All I can say is watch out Leukemia, here comes Kendall.

They have been giving Kendall some chemo pills to help with her white blood count so they don't get too high. She says that she is losing her taste buds, nothing taste right anymore. Then she really became mad and said she was going to hurt someone if she wasn't able to taste Sumo's anymore. Sumo's is her and Chase's favorite place to eat. I swear I think they could eat there about every night. ...
......Kendall went to the beauty shop today with the intention of getting a hair cut. They have told her that she will probably lose it. I, of course, was against it and want her to wait. They closed at 5:00pm and it was about 4:20 when we went down. I was pushing her in the whell chair and told her I was going to push it real fast but instead, I took as much time as I could. I was even going to purposely get lost on the way down so She couldn't get it cut. Little did I know that the beauty shop was staring us in the face when we stepped out of the elevator. So much for that idea. However, the lady working said it was too close to closing time and she wouldn't have time to do all of that. So Kendall settled for a wash instead, but told she would be back. That gives me a little time to think up of another excuse. ....
.....I have been taking pictures and wanted to have some of them posted by now but I left the usb cable in the luggage that we weren't allowed to bring. I should hope to have some up by thursday so B.O.L.O for them. ...
....Tammy was alot better today as we discussed the "Kendall journey". I know she's worried about Kendall, Dylan, Whitney Chad and Karsyn, Bragan and Brett, her family and friends, her job, our neighbors and a dozen other things that I see in her face. I see the pain in her as well and am trying so hard to take her pain away . ...Tammy, I know you have a hard time reading these post without crying so I want to tell you that I love you, I support you, honor and cherish you.. We will make it through this and be laughing about all of this several months from now as we take Kendall HOME!!!! She will probably force us to let her drive home so she can get their faster and honestly, that will be ok with me. I will gladly pay for a speeding ticket if she gets one....

.....I came across this scripture while looking for inspirational bible verses that I would like to share:
Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

God does have a plan for Kendall, this might not have been what Kendall has planned for but I trully believe that there is a plan and that it is in Gods hand. He is holding her hand and I have no doubt that Kendall will follow......

"Houston, We have a problem!"

2009-08-10T17:46:00.003-05:00

.........As we close in on the night of August 9th, we were told by the nurse at the hospital that a bed has become available in Houston. We were told that we will be leaving in a few hours!. Now, that just did not set well with me because we were told we would have a 12 hour window to prepare. Somewhere, someones owes me about 10 hours.....So as Tammy and me scramble to the house to get the luggage, Kendall becomes upset because she now believes that she is going to leave without getting to say goodbye to her friends. AT&T's switchboard probably came close to blowing a fuse because at that precise moment all the cell phones in the hospital began to call someone at the same time.

As I'm following Tammy to the house I begin to cry because I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I had not packed anything yet because I still believe that the hospital mixed up Kendall's records with someone else and at any moment they were going to realize that they had made a mistake. I just don't know what to say or do or how to be strong in front of Kendall. I tried to tell myself that there are no mistakes because God has a plan. He doesn't have to tell me what it is...I just have to trust in him and believe that this is in God's hands......
........So back to the hospital we go to find that Kendall is surrounded once again by her friends, family and loved ones. And to top it off...she is laughing and cutting up just like any other day. I began to look at several familiar faces in the crowd and started to cry again as I saw the love and support flowing through that room. One by one the crowd thins out as they say their goodbyes to Kendall. Kendall reassuring them that it will be alright....It's whatever.

Around 1am, we are finally in the air on our way to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, Texas. Tammy and Kendall try and sleep as I try to imagine what is in store for Kendall. The plane lands around 2:38am and an ambulance is waiting to whisk her away. MD Anderson welcomes Kendall with a trip through the emergency room. Here is where we will sit what seems like an eternity. Kendall has finally went to sleep as I hope this time it will be longer than an hour before someone wakes her up. Tammy is trying to sleep in the little chair but not having a lot of success at it. Kendall sleep until 9 o'clock this morning. The nurse tells us that the doctor should be in shortly and will talk to us and then all we have to do is wait on a bed to open up. Well I thought that is why we were here was because that a bed had opened up. Now that Tammy and me have passed the 24hour mark without sleep I'm beginning to think once again that all of this is going to get cleared up so we can go home. Not our luck..

....From about 11:30am to 2:00pm, Kendall's' day became a whirlwind. We met Jan! Jan is Kendall's nurse practitioner in the leukemia center. Jan began to talk and explain more about this disease than I really wanted to hear. But Jan is right. We needed to hear what is going on. I must finally accept that this is really happening and it is really happening to Kendall. Jan gave Tammy a big hug as she began to cry about the leukemia. Jan started out by doing another bone marrow biopsy on Kendall. This is the third one she has had in less than a week. Kendall then gave more blood followed up by them placing a pic line in her right arm. Jan said that the pic line will be used for them to run through the chemotherapy treatment. I think at this point there is no turning back, we are here for the long haul. Kendall's doctor then began to explain her overview of this whole situation. The only thing my mind remembers is that .." for the next nine months to a year." Is it really going to take that long to heal her.?

After the doctor left, me and Tammy began to try to plan our life for the next several months. I know this will work out and we will all come through this together.

Kendall Thomas

2009-08-09T09:52:00.000-05:00

I started this blog so that the family and friends of Kendall can join her in her journey. I am new to this "blogging" so please be patient with me as I record her journey. I am Daryl Sutton, Kendall's stepfather. I have had the pleasure of helping to raise her for quite some time now and love her very much. Nothing is more important to me than helping her overcome this so she may continue to have the life of her dreams. With God in our hearts and your prayers and thoughts, I know she will come through this, as it is Gods plan. I will be with her through this entire journey as I know many of you will as well.

On Friday July 31, 2009, Kendall, her mother(Tammy) and myself went to the doctor to speak with them about an MRI that Kendall had the day before. Kendall was having back pain and leg pain for several weeks now. We were initally told that there was a small spot(tissue mass) at or near the base of her spine. Once at the doctors office, we laughed and joked around waiting for the doctor to come in.Kendall was commenting on how good the tie looked that I was wearing. It was the tie that she had given me for Fathers Day. Then the doctor came in and looked at Kendall, checked her out and asked her to go over the symptoms again. The doctor then told us that it was not what they originally expected. There was a large tumor mass tissue in her lower back and pelvis area. The doctor said it was pressing on the nerves and that is what is causing the majority of her pain. He then said he wanted to do surgery to remove part of the tumor from the nerves and then biopsy it to find out what it is. He said it could possibly be Lymphoma and that was about all I heard until Tammy interrupted him. Tammy asked, "Isn't that a form of cancer?" The doctor said yes. He talked for a while longer and showed us some films of the tumor. He asked if we had any questions and I had a million of them but couldn't say anything. He politely excused himself and said his nurse would be in to clear up some details. The very second the door closed behind him, all of us busted out in tears. None of us knew what to say, we just held each other for a while.........So then we make arrangements for surgery......

On August 4, 2009, we show up at the hospital for surgery. Waiting...waiting ..and more waiting for Kendall to come back when we saw the doctor who now tell us that Kendall can not have surgery because her blood is for a lack of better words "out of wack". They admitt her to a room and later that morning they perform a bone marrow biopsy. They said we would not know anything for another 24 hours.....

....On August 5, 2009, around lunch, Kendall was told by her doctor that she has leukemia. AML - Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. They also told us they wanted us to go to MD anderson Hospital in Houston, Texas. They are one of the best leukemia hospitals in the country.....

....On August 7, 2009, Kendalls sister, Bragan, is getting married. Kendall is the maid of honor but she cant leave the hospital. But we were able to get through the wedding with Kendall still here. I set up a web cam so Kendall could watch and the people at the wedding could see her. There was a little delay in the wireless feed but it worked out well. Bragan and Brett even went by the hospital to have pictures with Kendall in her dress. I would also like to add that Bragan, you looked beautiful, Brett, I'm glad to have you in our family...I love you both!

.......So now, August 9, 2009...we wait for a place to open in Houston. They want us out there as soon as possible. We were told that it could be at any time, so to be ready.

I also would like to thank the many family and friends that have came by to see her and called us to check on her. All of your calls and visits mean very much to Kendall, as well as to Tammy and me. You have made us feel very blessed to have the support and love of family and friends.

I will continue to post updates on Kendalls journey and as I become more familiar with this "blog".

I want to say one last thing about Kendall: I have always told Kendall a bible verse that I feel strongly about and hope that it has helped her in good times and in bad. I have always been a little private with her in regards to matters of the heart. But I feel as if I should share with you what I have always told her. The verse is from Philippians 4:13. It states that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Kendall is one of the strongest people I know and I know her faith is strong as well.