I have heard from many of you about updates on Kendall and why I stopped writing the blog. Truth is....I felt like if I wrote something, then things might be over. But isn't that what we want...for it to be over. The last 8 months of my life has been turned upside down. Not to mention what it has done for Kendall...for Tammy, Whitney, Bragan and Dylan and many..many other people in her life. It has been "a journey". Today is
May 12. I'm gonna post in this post, what I wrote when we got home......
"Today is April 29, around midnight, and I am going to write the last official entry into the journey of Kendall Thomas. I know that its been a couple of weeks since the last post, I just couldn't find the words to write to you to truly express how I feel. I'm gonna give it my best shot though:
Kendall and me went to the doctor on that next Tuesday, 13th. We meet with them and she was cleared to go home. Kendall was so excited and wanted to go right then, which we couldn't, we still had to have her PICC line removed and finish gathering a few things at the apartment. None the less we did leave that same day, she was determined to get moving. And as usual, I did it to make her happy. Its been a while since she has been that happy. And knowing this in the back of my mind, I was not ready to go. I became scared about what could and can happen. How are we gonna fix it if we're in Gardendale. The doctors are in Houston and I wanted to stay around them. Kendall would have no part in it. She was ready to go. So we did.
Kendall is home now and wont go back for three months. She is still going to be tested for blood work every month. We pray that all the test show good positive things."
.....so, that's as far as I got before I had to quit. Writers block or facing reality of what is going to happen next. I just took some time to try and become normal again...with my family. It was hard to do. Me and Tammy have not hardly been together in some time and we keep getting into each others way. She had developed her routine as had I. And it didn't seem to mesh anymore. Work was hard to go back to, not knowing where Kendall was every minute of the day and wondering if she was ok. That took some time to adjust. Dylan, my baby boy.... that has grown up too fast and I feel like I missed the last moments of him being a child. He is turning out to be quite a teenager. Very independent and doesn't need his daddy anymore..or as much. Whitney and Bragan have their own families now and are not as needing anymore either. Everybody grew up...but not apart. We do feel stronger as a family. The family has even grown. Our neighbors have become closer, more like family and we have all developed a special bond during this journey. People we have meet in Houston have become family, doctors, other patients and even strangers.
Out of all of this, Kendall is fixing to return to school. Getting ready to move next week. I keep telling myself that a move to Montgomery is a lot better than a move back to Houston. Kendall has started back training and exercising for school. I know she knows I am having a hard time with it but she always tries to make me laugh by saying that she has been with me every day for 8 months and she doesn't have to see me every day anymore. She has saved them all up.
We go back to Houston in July for our first three month check up. That should be a pleasant trip. I don't know if I will ever get Kendall on a plane again.
Me and God have spend a lot of time together lately. Mostly me giving him thanks for his miracles. I never gave up on him and never will. It's easy to see how we need God when things are not going our way. He is easy to talk to and always listens. It did make me feel better trying to find scripture that would give me hope, faith and encouragement...and love. Now that things are returning to normal around, I want to keep God around more. I know he has always been there, but like the other people, neighbors, strangers and family that we have made stronger bonds with...God is one of those..too. I know I can't always get my way, but as long as I can keep God with me...it doesn't really matter
"which way" it is.
PS. This is not really the last entry...that was a little dramatic on my part!
May 13, 2010