This update took TOO long

I have heard from many of you about updates on Kendall and why I stopped writing the blog. Truth is....I felt like if I wrote something, then things might be over. But isn't that what we want...for it to be over. The last 8 months of my life has been turned upside down. Not to mention what it has done for Kendall...for Tammy, Whitney, Bragan and Dylan and many..many other people in her life. It has been "a journey". Today is
May 12. I'm gonna post in this post, what I wrote when we got home......


"Today is April 29, around midnight, and I am going to write the last official entry into the journey of Kendall Thomas. I know that its been a couple of weeks since the last post, I just couldn't find the words to write to you to truly express how I feel. I'm gonna give it my best shot though:

Kendall and me went to the doctor on that next Tuesday, 13th. We meet with them and she was cleared to go home. Kendall was so excited and wanted to go right then, which we couldn't, we still had to have her PICC line removed and finish gathering a few things at the apartment. None the less we did leave that same day, she was determined to get moving. And as usual, I did it to make her happy. Its been a while since she has been that happy. And knowing this in the back of my mind, I was not ready to go. I became scared about what could and can happen. How are we gonna fix it if we're in Gardendale. The doctors are in Houston and I wanted to stay around them. Kendall would have no part in it. She was ready to go. So we did.

Kendall is home now and wont go back for three months. She is still going to be tested for blood work every month. We pray that all the test show good positive things."

.....so, that's as far as I got before I had to quit. Writers block or facing reality of what is going to happen next. I just took some time to try and become normal again...with my family. It was hard to do. Me and Tammy have not hardly been together in some time and we keep getting into each others way. She had developed her routine as had I. And it didn't seem to mesh anymore. Work was hard to go back to, not knowing where Kendall was every minute of the day and wondering if she was ok. That took some time to adjust. Dylan, my baby boy.... that has grown up too fast and I feel like I missed the last moments of him being a child. He is turning out to be quite a teenager. Very independent and doesn't need his daddy anymore..or as much. Whitney and Bragan have their own families now and are not as needing anymore either. Everybody grew up...but not apart. We do feel stronger as a family. The family has even grown. Our neighbors have become closer, more like family and we have all developed a special bond during this journey. People we have meet in Houston have become family, doctors, other patients and even strangers.

Out of all of this, Kendall is fixing to return to school. Getting ready to move next week. I keep telling myself that a move to Montgomery is a lot better than a move back to Houston. Kendall has started back training and exercising for school. I know she knows I am having a hard time with it but she always tries to make me laugh by saying that she has been with me every day for 8 months and she doesn't have to see me every day anymore. She has saved them all up.

We go back to Houston in July for our first three month check up. That should be a pleasant trip. I don't know if I will ever get Kendall on a plane again.

Me and God have spend a lot of time together lately. Mostly me giving him thanks for his miracles. I never gave up on him and never will. It's easy to see how we need God when things are not going our way. He is easy to talk to and always listens. It did make me feel better trying to find scripture that would give me hope, faith and encouragement...and love. Now that things are returning to normal around, I want to keep God around more. I know he has always been there, but like the other people, neighbors, strangers and family that we have made stronger bonds with...God is one of those..too. I know I can't always get my way, but as long as I can keep God with me...it doesn't really matter
"which way" it is.

PS. This is not really the last entry...that was a little dramatic on my part!


May 13, 2010

Is This Our Final Week?

Well, I thought that we might be packing up and getting ready to drive home. Kendall went to the doctor today to have her blood work checked. The doctor said they were starting to improve but that they were not where they wanted them to be at before she goes home. So instead of packing we have one more weekend to spend in Houston. Kendall did not need any blood or platelets today and her white blood cells are really starting to climb. Some of it may have been due to Kendall being sick the last 3 days. Nothing but laying in the bed with headaches and being nauseous. When I got up this morning I noticed that she had gotten up sometime during the night and fixed popcorn, so I knew she was feeling better.

Kendall goes back to the doctor Tuesday and that might be the day we can come home, as long as her blood counts are still improving. But the doctor wouldn't say for sure. Kendall was a little upset, I know she's ready to come home. She didn't have to say anything, her facial expressions said it all. When we were in the car on the way to the apartment we talked about it a little. She was looking forward to packing up today and heading home. But she said she guessed she could stand a few more days but not many more. I'll find us something to do to take her mind off of it. But it ain't going to be easy.

We have to go back to a physical therapy session this afternoon to start Kendall's road to complete physical recovery. They're gonna show her how to start off slow and work into a regular training routine for exercise. Kendall is really excited about that visit. I still can't get her to go walk with me outside. I can't really blame her though. The last time I made her walk outside with me, she threw up in the parking lot and she reminds me of that every time I ask her to walk.

Kendall's going to get a nap to rest up for the appointment this afternoon. Maybe by Tuesday I will telling you that we are driving home.


Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness

The Verdict Is In

I'm sitting at work today doing some paperwork. My cell phone rings and it is MD Anderson hospital. A million things begin to go through my mind as I answer the phone. It's one of Kendall's PA's(physician assistants)calling to tell me some news about Kendall. She says that Kendall no longer needs to have anymore lumbar punctures or chemotherapy. Kendall is 100% tumor free and she has 0% leukemic cells. Speechless! All of Kendall's test results from last week were very good. At this point, I don't seem to hear anything else. The last 7 1/2 months flash before my eyes. Is it really over. Can Kendall come home to stay this time? I didn't know what to say. I hang up the phone and almost instantly get a phone call from Kendall. I will never forget the excitement in her voice as she begins to tell me what the doctor told her today. I tried so hard to reach through the phone and hug her. This is almost over and we can make that final journey back home. Then I talked to Tammy and the excitement continued. Tammy was crying so much I could barely hold mine back.

After several hours of the news sinking in...it was such a relief to finally just say out loud that Kendall's cancer is gone. Can she now resume her life before it was so abruptly changed?

Dylan and myself are going out to Houston this weekend for one last visit. Then Dylan and Tammy will come home while I finish out Kendall's journey in Houston for the next couple of weeks. It will be so great to load up the apartment and head for home.

I can't wait!!!!!!


John 16:32
But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.

The Official Last Round of Chemo

Once again, I take Kendall and Tammy to the airport for their final journey back to Houston for Kendall's last round of chemotherapy. I dropped them off this even and gave each of them a long hug and kiss and told them that I loved them. Letting go still remains hard for me to do as I know the day nears when Kendall is off to college again. That is already storing a supply of tears to fall. Kendall has been so anxious this last two weeks and is also so confident about getting started. They made it back about 7pm and safely entered the cozy surroundings of the "apartment". I am so looking forward to packing it up and moving back home.

Kendall will be at the doctor early this morning to get things started. I pulled up her schedule and the next 30 days is filling up quick with things to do. I will make sure over the next couple of days to post the last reports of her doctors visits and procedures as they happen. God has performed such a miracle already and I want to make sure that to God be the glory. He has been with my family extremely close over the last 7 months and we all have been truly blessed and touched by his power.

I always meet someone around Gardendale that asks about Kendall or the family and it is another blessing that we have received from all of you and your prayers and thoughts. I mean it when I say that you have meant a great deal to Kendall and my family as well and I hope to be able to personally thank and hug each of you and touch you as you have touched my heart.

Well as you can see by the time stamped post, its past 3:30am and I can't sleep. Anxious, nervous and praying that this goes well one more time. Good night.


Romans 15:13
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Catching Up To Do

In just over a short week, so much has happened in the way of Kendall's schedule, I wasn't sure what I needed to write because things changed so fast.

On that Friday, February 26, Kendall did have to have platelets again that morning at the hospital. But we did manage to make the late afternoon flight to come home. Wasn't sure we were even going to get to come home. Kendall has had several more infections come up and that has caused her blood counts to really be out of line. But we did come home. Kendall was still really tired and she didn't do much while we she was home. The only thing she really wanted to go and do was to see her team play softball on that Friday. They were playing at 1:00pm, nut we were late coming in. So I wanted to tell Coach we're sorry we couldn't make it but maybe we can catch one soon.

Kendall and Tammy flew out on Tuesday afternoon headed back to Houston. Kendall has to have another lumbar puncture with chemo in her spine and also have a bone marrow aspiration. I especially couldn't wait to get the results of the bone marrow aspiration. This test was going to assure us that Kendall was still in remission. Her last test showed that she had around 3% blasts cells (leukemic cells) in her body. They want that number to of course be at zero(0). But anything under 5% and she is still in remission. Even a lower number than the previous will shoe=w that her treatment is still working. That test was giving on the March 3rd and she had to meet with her doctor on March 4th to get the news.

On Thursday, March 4th, we received the results for the aspiration and it showed around 1% blasts cells. Which was GREAT news! It could still go a little lower and maybe when the next treatment is over it will be lower. But around 1% is just what we all needed to hear. Kendall could have left the doctor's office that day and everything would have been a great day. But then she received some other news about her blood counts, The doctor said her blood counts were too low to start the next round of chemo. She said the blood was working on its on now but that they were just not recovering enough to go through the next round. Tammy said Kendall's face turned red as they told her it would need to be post poned for a week. Then I think Kendall had steam coming from her head as the doctor told her that she needs a two week break instead and told her to go back home to rest. I knew Kendall was furious as she was so ready to start the next round to get through. Tammy called me to tell me all of this news and and I felt like I was back on the roller coaster, up and down up and down.

I booked Kendall and Tammy a flight home for Friday, March 5th and anxiously awaited their return. I spoke to Kendall later on that day and she was a little better. She was still upset and disappointed that she couldn't start chemo but was instead dealing more with being sick from the lumbar puncture. So we had a reunion on Friday only though Kendall was gone for just a few days but we still celebrated the results from the blast cells. Kendall is still in remission.

Over the next few days, we will look over her schedule on exactly what day Kendall and Tammy will be going back out. But for now I will enjoy my family all together for a short week or so. And Tammy wasn't even mad that I had not done anything on my "to do list" that she gave me because they weren't gone long enough for anything other than me to read it. I of course was working on a game plan to tackle the lists. But now that list is gone as Tammy has already revised it for a newer one.

Sleep, Rest...we need it

I thought I would be writing this post from Gardendale tonight but Kendall and me are still in Houston. Kendall and myself spent 3 wonderful nights in the hospital with Kendall's fever. Running test and drawing blood. Well her fever broke but she still had a slight infection but we were able to go back to the apartment. Although she is having to take IV antibiotics for the next 13 days. Every 6 hours. Try sleeping with that routine. The medicine is refrigerated and had to be room temperature prior to giving it, then after running for an hour it has to be unhooked and the lines flushed so they won't clog. Midnight and 6am are the toughest but so far it has been ok. An hour of sleep here and an hour of sleep there. Not to mention that Kendall has all of her other medication that she is taking twice a day.

Back to being home. The lab showed that her platelets are not recovering very fast and she is having to have them transfused every other day. Some of it was due to the fever and infection. It leaves her really tired and doesn't have a lot of energy to do anything. She has also been bleeding more than normal from her mouth as the result of low platelets. They have been low before but not for this long. The doctor said Kendall needed to stay around close because of the way her platelets keep dropping so fast. She goes back Friday for another check and maybe by then we will be able to go home. They want to start the last round of treatment next week. So much has to happen before she can start again. For now, I make sure she is resting and eating some hoping that her body pulls itself together for this last cycle.

Fevers Means Larger Hospital Rooms

Back in the hospital for those long nights,no sleeping and general discomfort. Kendall ran a fever that could not be avoided so we made the trip to the Emergency Room. 3pm till 2am is not as bad as it seems. Really, we were able to sit in the er with lots of people that even somelooked to be in more pain that Kendall. I tried to be patient>The nurse told me that she was putting us in a wing that nobody is using. I said you will forget about us and we'll be here forever. She assured me that, that would not happen. Well it did, we didn't see a nurse for hours. Finally got in the roomabout 2am and Kendall slept a little but I could not. The nerses where in her room every 39 minutes now. So I stayed up and are now feeling the affects of no sleep.

Kendall hasreceived two units of blood and 6 units of platelets and on all the antiobiodics anyone could imagine. She's doing fine,just notreal social causeshe is tired so much. Won'tkeep you long just wanted to give the quick update.

Steady Is The Path

I don't know how this past week has slipped by me. It just seemed liked yesterday that Kendall was starting her chemo and we were getting settled in. Kendall has had, so far a good beginning. This past week, Kendall hasn't done a lot because she has been tired. She did give me a scare last night when she started to run a fever but it came down and we avoided a hospital trip. She told me that she was due a trip to the emergency room and had already packed an overnight bag to go. She is starting to become more comfortable with the realization that she has leukemia. She knows what she has do and has no problem in getting it done. I know she still gets upset about it, but I have begin to see how much she has grown through this experience. And she has handled it extremely well. I am very proud of her for the strength and courage she has shown throughout this.

Kendall's blood counts have been really low this week and haven't begun to recover yet. Hopefully by the end of the week they will start to recover. She has had to get platelets every other day. But even though she's recovering slower that usual, she has more upbeat days than down days.

We meet some new people this week at the hospital. We were laughing at how we can tell what people are new to MD Anderson and what people have been around for a long time. The new people we met are from Kentucky and have only been out here for a month. Kendall and me felt like regulars as they were asking how to get around the hospital and about things around Houston. As I carried on my conversation with them, I couldn't help but think how familiar I have really became with the hospital and even with the city of Houston. Then I began to think about how much I missed our home, our family and our neighbors. I began to get sad thinking about that so then I began to think about how close Kendall is to being through with her treatment and we can get back to all those things that we miss.

Psalm 68:13
Even while you sleep among the CAMPFIRES, the wings of my dove are sheathed with silver, its feathers with shining gold."

Gods Miracle Opportunity

How many mornings do you wake up and realize that each day is a miracle. That every day you have an opportunity to shine in Gods eyes. I was reminded of that this morning when Dylan called me at 6:45am. I was laying in the bed thinking about all the reasons why I shouldn't get out of it. Dylan's voice was so full of life, excitement....opportunity! He was walking out to catch the school bus and wanted to call me not only to see what I was doing but also to specifically ask how was Kendall doing. His voice reminded me of some of the reasons why I should get out of bed.....

....so how is Kendall doing? She has had a rough weekend. Filled with not eating or drinking anything and not having the energy to move around. She didn't run a fever or anything but was just.....tired. I was worried because she wasn't eating or drinking and I would constantly be trying to give her something. She would politely smile at me and say...no thank you. I didn't find any new hobbies or interests, I just calmly sat in the living room listening out for her to call me. I started reading a couple of different books, but Tammy knows I never finish them, I just start them. Kendall did start to stir around a little bit on Sunday and began to eat a little....and it was very little.

Kendall had a doctors appointment this morning for labwork. Her energy level was better than Sunday and she was eating more and even drinking more. She is at day 6 of treatment and I didn't think she would need blood by the way she was feeling, but she is at day 6 which is usually time for a blood transfusion. But I was right, she didn't need any. Her white blood count was at 0.1, which is really low this early but Kendall was in good spirits. She even started wearing her mask without me even having to remind her. I'm beginning to think that she don't need me anymore because she's been through so much it's almost like routine to her. Kendall doesn't have to go back until Wednesday and I'm sure she will have to have blood and/or platelets by then.

I know some mornings when I get up it's like routine to me. I go through the motions day after day without taking time to do what's really important. To take the time to thank God for the opportunity. The opportunity to care....to laugh....to cry...and to love. I've often talked about things that refer to Gods plan for the future and how it will turn out...His way. But tonight I want to take the time....the opportunity to thank him for the things in my life today. For the opportunity to live each day pleasing God. I know that some days I probably don't please God as much as other days. But I thank him for the opportunity.


Colossians 4:5-6
Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Round and Round We Go.....

Days 1 and 2 are in the books. Kendall has finished two or her three days of chemo this week and we are fixing to tackle day three. This treatment had the extra drug in in and Kendall has been so worried that it was going to make her sick. She was right.....it did. She went through the chills, the fever, the nausea and the pain the whole night. And she wasn't through. Chemo ran until 3am that morning. Most of all the symptoms happened while we were still at the hospital and the nurse took very good care of her. Every time Kendall moved, the nurse was there to help. When we got to the apartment, Kendall went straight to bed. She slept until the next day of chemo. So back to the hospital we go. By now she was feeling a little better and the hospital wasn't crowded at all. We went right in and she started chemo. It was now time for Grey's Anatomy. That's all she likes to watch on tv so it felt like we watched all of one season. Back to the apartment and Kendall went to sleep. I feel like we are either at the hospital or trying to catch up on sleep. One would think that after 6 months of this it would surely ease up. Sometimes I think it's getting harder for Kendall. Her body falls down quicker and it takes longer for her to recover. While she's having chemo, she stays so tired. But somehow, she presses on and wants to keep going. Some days I feel like I have to drag her to the hospital but she is so looking forward to the end of the tunnel.....

....So now we're back from day 3 and wait on the blood transfusions. By day 6 she will be needing blood and platelets. It's scary sometimes to think that I know all of this. Six months ago seems like an eternity. How much in the dark I was about this. Well, not going to go through all of that now. I'll wait until next month to do that.


2 Corinthians 5:7
We live by faith, not by sight

Rounding Third

Well, back at it. Kendall and me flew back in to Houston on Sunday night to start the next round. Two more. I told her it was like rounding third and heading home. She didn't think that was funny. Kendall was able to spend another week at home trying to be normal. For the most part she did really good. She hasn't had much of an appetite this past month but started to eat better this past week. Her energy level was really good. She was able to get out and do a lot this week. I still worry about her being out by herself. She tells me I'm paranoid but I can't help it.

We had a visit with the doctor today and got the green light to start. Her white blood count was down a little and was in discussion about whether or not to wait a few more days to start. Kendall didn't say anything but I could tell that a decision to delay would not make for very pleasant conversation around the apartment. But the doctor said she was good to go so we dropped that discussion as quick as it came up. So we left the hospital knowing that the next few days of chemo are going to be tough because the doctor said her bone marrow is not recovering as well as it has been. We'll just take it one day at a time and everything should be fine.

ALMOST THROUGH

Kendall and Tammy are getting to come home tonight. Kendall has a doctor's appointment this morning and should be able to catch their flight home tonight. Kendall has done really well this past week. A few times where she was not feeling good, but mostly was very upbeat. I called her one night and she sounded like she was having way too much fun. Her blood levels have recovered nicely and are higher than they have been the last couple of treatments. Maybe her body is working harder knowing that she is almost through. This had been a hard month for me. Working long hours and little time with the family. So I'm really looking forward to the mini reunion tonight. I'm sure Kendall will be non stop, full of things to do while she is here. She has to be back at the end of the month to start her next round of chemo. Wow! cant believe it's already down to just two left. Tammy did say that I wouldn't recognize Kendall because her hair has began to grow in really thick. I know Kendall is looking forward to family and friends and can't wait to see everyone.


Proverbs 2:11
Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

Waiting...Listening...Hearing!

Have you ever stopped and looked back at how fast time REALLY moves. It's already been a week since my last post. Since then the road to recovery has been really hard for Kendall. She continues to struggle through this round of chemotherapy. I talk to her every day and even though I can't see her facial expressions, I can tell that she doesn't feel well. The chemo has really taken it out of her this time. They seem to be getting harder for her every time. She has not been eating very well and doesn't have the energy to do a whole lot. Tammy said she had a hard time going to the doctor today. Her levels were very low today. She had to get 2 units of blood and 2 units of platelets. Tammy said that her color came back a little today after the blood transfusion. As with every treatment, she has always fought back and continues to do so this time. Her schedule is starting to run behind though as her body slowly heals back. Kendall said she is determined to get through the next couple of rounds so she can come home for good. One day at a time seems to be running into weeks. It's all going by so fast, yet sometimes during the day I don't think I will ever get to see the day come to an end.

It's been so cold in Gardendale lately, we don't get out but to go to work or school. Plus, with Tammy and Kendall in Houston, it makes for long nights. Dylan and me have been good. The house isn't a disaster and we are managing to do homework, wash clothes and make dinner. What more can you ask for.

We still aren't sure when Kendall will try and make a trip home after this treatment. With the schedule running behind, it's harder to try and plan anything. Over the next week, we should be able to firm things up. Although we know that everything can change on a moments notice. We have at least adapted to that.

Tammy is holding up alright. She does tell me though that it's hard out there when Kendall is sick. But Tammy has plenty of puzzles that occupy her time. Well, now I'm just rambling so I'll just say thank you for thinking of Kendall and we appreciate all of you more than you know.


Job 32:11
I waited while you spoke, I listened to your reasoning; while you were searching for words,

I do that alot...waiting...listening...and understanding...trying to understand what has happened in the past 5 months. I could name a ton of important stuff that has happened in the past 5 months, but probably everyone would forget in the next 5 months. The things that I choose to mention are the love for my family, the warmth from our friends and the faith from God above.

Just a Post, No Title

Is it not normal to assume that the more you do something the easier it becomes to do? That as you develop a routine or a pattern in your life, that you get better at it. Well....this was not the case this past Sunday as Dylan and I came back home from Houston. Kendall was at the hospital starting her chemo. As the time drew near for us to go I could tell by Kendall's facial expression that this was not going to be an easy goodbye. I went to hug her and felt her tears fall on my arm. It was almost more than I could handle. I told her that it's almost over and that she will be home soon. I didn't want to let go because now, I once again felt like I was helpless. She told me she would be ok and to go. I did manage to leave the room before my tears began to fall. I quickly wiped my eyes before I met Tammy and Dylan in the lobby.

Dylan and me caught a cab to take us to the airport and as we pulled away I saw Tammy standing on the second floor lobby waving goodbye. This is that part of not getting any easier. It gets harder. But Dylan was excited, this was his first cab ride. And was he ever excited. He watched in amazement as we winded through Houston to the airport. Not only was this his first cab ride but his first airplane ride. We went through check in ok and then boarded the plane. He sat in the window seat and could not have made his smile any wider. He was bouncing around and I had to tell him to be still. The trip was smooth, no bumps and Dylan said from now on that's how he wants to travel...is by plane.

Kendall finished up her treatments and is now settling in for the recovery part. She was not feeling good the first couple of days but started feeling a little better last night. I hope this part of it is easier for Tammy and Kendall this time. I still can't help but worry about both of them, though.

Dylan and I will have a chance to bond some more with his new Christmas present that Santa brought him.....so Chase...all I can say is "game on". We also will get a chance to enjoy this cold weather for a change...maybe it will snow in Gardendale this time.


1 John 4:18
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... "

Happy New Year!!!

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. As I try and catch you up with Kendall, I also want to thank you for everything you have done for Kendall and our family during this time. The holidays was even more of an opportunity to spend time with family, friends and loved ones.

Kendall, Tammy, Dyan and myself made the long drive back out to Houston on December 30th. Kendall was able to spend Christmas and her birthday at home. Which is what she wanted. She was constantly on the go. But her blood counts and energy level were good so she was able to do a lot. None of us were looking forward to the long drive. But Kendall was a little anxious to get started so she can be through. Dlyan is still out of school so what better way than to bring in the new year than in Houston. Ok, so I can think of several things that would be better than having to be in Houston,but we were all together.

Kendall did her blood lab workup on New Years Eve and everything is fine. Everything has about returned to normal. We were able to clear up some confusion about the remainder of Kendall's stay. Is it 6 treatments or 7 treatments......well it's both. It's 6 consolidation treatments with 1 induction treatment for a total of 7. So Kendall will have to be out here for another month or so taking it to late March for her treatments to be through.

Tammy is going to stay out here with Kendall for the next round so I can be home with Dylan for a while. Besides, I told Kendall that she could no longer be in the bald club unless she cuts her hair. Her hair has started growing in really thick now and I was feeling lonely because she could now brush her hair and I still could not. I guess I really noticed it on her birthday. I had went to work that day and when I got home, I went in her room to see how her day had went. I looked at her and noticed that she had "fixed" her hair. It was brushed down. It was beautiful. Those eyes were so big and bold and she was glowing with her smile. I could tell she was really excited that she was able to "fix" her hair.

Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."