The low numbers are in. Kendall's doctor appointment Friday went as planned that morning. Blood work went smooth and the results came back as expected, LOW. Everything really low. Her white blood cells dropped to 0.1, lower than we thought they would go for day 8 after treatment. The lab actually thought the first tests were wrong so they ran them again. Same number. So Kendall had to get some blood and platelets so she could have a little energy this weekend. Friday night at the hospital. What else would you expect. Not like we had so many other things to do.
Kendall is still sleeping alot. This round has made her really tired. I'm pouring on the pampering, but it's not doing much for her mood. I was able to get her to go out for a little bit today while I ran some errands. I think she was glad as well to get out. Somewhere other than the hospital. After that we settled in, ordered a pizza and watched football.
I know I feel like night after night I talk about the same things as far as how I'm feeling. I've talked about the pain that I see in Kendall but how strong she is to be handling this the way she has. I also talk about how much Faith and Trust in God are important, not only in times like this but also in everyday life. Even in my job as a policeman, there are things that happen that no matter how much you train, it's hard to do. But they have to be done. Looking into your childs face.....tears rolling down their cheeks.....fear in their eyes...and pain..pain all around wondering why she has been chosen to go through this. How do I do it. I'm a physically strong person and can take a lot. But I can not prepare myself for the emotional strain that I feel right now from watching my child feel this way. How do I answer her and how do I know it's the right answer. Fighting off my own tears, I grab her and place my arms around her. I tell her that she has made the first half of her journey. I tell her that we are going to get to go home again for a few days. I then tell her that I love her, her family loves her and her friends love her. I can only tell her things that I know will make her feel better. I tell her to trust..to believe..
Exodus 4:4
Then the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand.
...trust can hurt, trust can heal, trust can be given, trust can be earned..no matter what part of trust I am at, it is a part of me. I do place my trust in Him, no matter how bad the pain gets...I trust that the healing comes..I trust that the love will remain..I trust that the laughter will stay.
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Hiya TK,
ReplyDeleteToday's quote..."There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you only do it when circumstances permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." - Anon
Kendall, I can't even try to imagine, or want to, the struggle you have, and all the things you are without...your home, school, softball, normal life, etc. Try this...make a list every day..of five different things you're thankful for...maybe it will balance out the sad.
Right off the bat...you have your family, your Chase, your friends, your mental attitude, and your physical capacity. Bonus - you have your Daryl with you and in a little while, your wonderful mom!
Today calls for two quotes...
"Pain is temporary, it may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take it's place." - Lance Armstrong
Prayers for working through the pain and hard times, for tears to cleanse, for strength to fight, for rest and for love. I ask Lord that you show your will, give guidance and understanding that will chase away the anxiety and questions, that you grant peace. Let the calmness overcome all fears and build the trust needed to finish this journey. Thank you Lord for your promises.
Lifting you up
Randy, Tina and Nicolette