Phillipians 4:13

I can do All things through Christ who strengthens me! I constantly remind myself of this every day. Every day I feel the weight pressing down on me and I keep pressing it up. I press back to the point where I think I can handle it ....and I drop it. I reach to pick it back up and it's twice as heavy as it was before. How much do we really know about Leukemia? Can this really change people's life as it has ours. Can it be worse? Can it be better? I don't know a right way or a wrong way to answers these questions but I know that God is in charge and he has lead us here to Houston for a reason.....

.....Today was the day we were supposed to take Kendall out of the hospital. I arrived at the hospital carrying empty bags to load up all of Kendall's belongings. The doctors made their rounds a little bit early today. I'm thinking every thing is going great and we might even get out of here earlier than expected. Well....that wasn't the case. They said they wanted to give Kendall another round of chemotherapy and monitor her overnight. I braced myself, because I know Kendall, and I knew that something was about to get broke. But instead, Kendall starred and the doctors and said "ok". Wow! That did not go as I expected it to either. They discussed their plans with us and said they would see us in the morning. Kendall was very calm but I could tell that she was not happy....

...Kendall was due to have chemotherapy around lunch time so we decided to go for a walk. We went down to the lobby and then back outside to our park bench. We sat there for almost an hour talking. She looked more relaxed once we were outside, I just hoped that we could stay outside a little longer. But we had to go back to the room for the last treatment.

Back in the room, they came to give Kendall chemotherapy, so me and Tammy went to a group meeting consisting of several other patients and family members from the 6th floor as well as a couple of nurses. We had a chance to meet other people that have or are experiencing the same thing we are going through with Kendall. We also had a chance to ask questions to other nurses about treatment and such. I want to start off by saying that this was a very tough time to get through. It wasn't required or anything, but did make me more aware of how powerful Leukemia is. Powerful in that not only does it consume the lives of the patients and I'm very sorry that anyone should have to go through this, but also consumes the lives of family and friends. I almost had to leave because I didn't want to hear it. Tammy told me later that she almost left as well. I think this was the time that we both grabbed the other ones hand and held on tight. We both knew that this is something we needed to hear. We were the only ones that are "knew" to Leukemia. The others in the room have experienced it for quite some time. One quote from someone in the class was "this is like a long roller coaster ride and I want off!" Others were saying how long their hospital stay has been, months at a time. Some of them have had frightening, near death experiences while some of them were having no trouble at all with their treatment. All I could think about was Kendall. I wondered what kind of ride we are going to have. Then I thought about Tammy, the girls, Dylan, family and friends and then the other people that this has affected. We are not the only ones that are going through this or that have been down this road. How did we get to this point. We are so thankful to our family and friends that call or write, and check on Kendall, of course, but me and Tammy as well. Or to check on other family members. Some of these patients down here have nobody to help them. We owe everything to God. God has placed you, all of you, in Kendalls path to help show us the way.

As we three sat in the room tonight, we were all quiet. I can't help but to stare at Kendall and then at Tammy, not knowing what lays ahead for Kendall. ......

......Tammy has went to the apartment, Kendall is laying here asleep and I sit here thinking of a prayer....will you pray with me?

The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

the power and the glory,

for ever and ever.

Amen