A Ray of Sunshine

Saturday morning. Sleep late, cut the grass, maybe swim in the pool some or just be lazy and rest up from the long work week. How quick someones life changes in the blink of an eye. You never think it is going to happen to you or to a loved one. But change can be dealt with. Change can make us grow stronger and bring us closer together. Its the worry and stress that comes along with it that's hard to deal with. I can see early on that there will probably be more worry and stress than one person should have to deal with. Kendall has been so strong all through this journey. I know the journey is just starting and we realize that it will be a long one. But I feel her strength in her family and friends. Many of you call to talk and check on Kendall. Many of you write or post on this blog. She continues to amaze us all and I say again, you are her strength.

This morning was much the same as the last few mornings. She did appear a little more worked up today and I could tell she was wanting to get out and move around. Chase would walk with her around the hospital in Birmingham and she always felt better when she got back. So I decided to do just that, we were going out for lunch....in the meantime, Tammy had to attend one of the Infusion Therapy classes today so she can help with Kendall's PICC line. While Tammy was gone, me and Kendall had some time to talk about what all was going on. This is the first time, since we've been in Houston, that I could really tell that she was scared. As she began to tear up and talk to me, I thought to myself, this is it, my time to show her how strong I can really be. Didn't work out the way I wanted it to. I teared up and cried with her. I told her it was going to be alright as I wrapped my arms around her and held on. You would think with my 20 years of being a police officer that I could find a way to protect her and keep her safe. But I can't, it's totally out of my hands. But whose hands would be better if they couldn't be mine....Gods hand. I told her I would be with her as long as it takes and that we would pray for HIM and that we believe in HIM. I then told her that I love her and we will get through this.....together......ALL of us....together. Kendall then said that we better dry it up because momma would be back any minute and she didn't need to catch the both of us "having a moment".

By the time Tammy came back, we both were better. We talked to the nurse about walking Kendall around and she gave us a furlough. We took Kendall to lunch in the cafeteria. She ate a slice of pizza then said it didn't taste right. She tried some english peas and they were a little better. After lunch we walked outside and sat in a little park area. Kendall just laid back in the chair and soaked up the sunshine. It reminded me of a picture that our neighbor drew for Kendall. Noah drew a picture at school and he drew Kendall as the sunshine. How true was that picture. Kendall was getting a solar charge from the sun and spreading her sunshine all around. I didn't think that me and Tammy was going to be enough support to get Kendall back in that hospital. It was nice as we all sat there and talked about.....well it didn't matter what we talked about. The sight of her relaxed was conversation enough. We did manage though to take her back inside and back to the room.

Tonight, me and Kendall had to gang up on Tammy so she would go back to the apartment and get some rest. Tammy has been going since Sunday morning without hardly any sleep. I could see that she was tired but it didn't matter to her. She wasn't going anywhere. I know where Kendall gets her stubbornness from. I told her that she couldn't do Kendall any good if she wasn't able to perform herself, she needs to get some rest. Tammy resisted at first and became emotional with Kendall, but did agree to go to the apartment.

It's about 11:30 and they just gave Kendall her chemotherapy treatment. She's just laying there asleep soaking it all in..... I think I'll sit back and let some of her rays reach out to me....

...my title was inspired by the picture that Noah drew for Kendall....thank you Noah!

....Tammy ...I hope your resting ok... I love you.....


1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you