Finally Home! This is a song by Mercy Me that I have listened to daily since we left Birmingham. I told Kendall and Dylan that I was going to play this song every day until we were able to return home. Even so much as I downloaded it to my cell phone and made it my ring tone. Something to give me extra incentive to bring Kendall home. And as of this writing, we will be coming home on Wednesday. Although it will be just for the weekend, it's still a much needed trip home. Kendall is doing well enough that the doctor said to go. Kendall is still really tired but I don't think I could keep her here any longer. She is ready to see her family and friends and of course...Chase. Her blood counts are still low but they are starting to climb slowly.
Looking forward to the rest of this week...I can already see that the week is going to be nonstop. It's something Tammy and I can't wait to tackle. A little break from the daily trips to the hospital, especially for Kendall. I just hope that she is able to enjoy the next few days without any complications or any fever. We are going to try and leave all of that here in Houston.
We are so thankful and blessed to all of our family and friends who have taken time out of their life to think of Kendall and greatly appreciate everything you have done for us. Tonight I wanted to give a special thank you to all of Kendall's friends. People that she goes to school with, grew up with and shares her lifes experiences with. I read through the bible looking for something to lift you up....to remind you that someone is always there for you....and to renew your strength and faith , just as you have done for Kendall. The verse tonight is for you and I pray that it finds a place in your heart...........
Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
A Child' s Eye
No one can mistake the love in a child's eyes. Children are no doubt the work of God. No matter what they do, we will always love them. No matter how old the children become, we are all children of God and I can only imagine what He sees when he looks at us. As tired as I may become. As homesick as I may get. As depressed and sad as I am that this is happening to Kendall.....I see so much love in her eyes every time I look at her. Her eyes tell the whole story. And that is the reason I believe has changed my life. I can see God through her. Shining and smiling so brite that I believe children are Gods greatest treasure.
As we sat in the living room of the apartment today we talked about what we were going to do when we get home. Hug family and friends...and the dogs and catch up on the past 6-8 weeks of their lifes. Of course this all depends on good reports tomorrow from the doctor. Kendall said she wasn't going to even start packing until she was cleared. We are all trying to down play a little bit. Don't won't to seem too anxious...but we are all ready.
Kendall's fever stayed down today and she has felt ok. We didn't want to do anything to chance making her fever going up. Me and Tammy sanitized the apartment one last time before the weekend trip home and washed up all the clothes...you know just in case.
Reading tonight, I came across this prayer. I took these two verses out to share as they seemed to make me think more about things. To be... "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" is where I want to be. I have never been the man of God that I have wanted to be. I can tell the confidence in a man that has "that fullness". It is something that I want to fill up on.
The other part... "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" is such a blessing to know that God is here to answer our prayers...all our prayers. We just need to pray.
Ephesians 3:19-20
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
As we sat in the living room of the apartment today we talked about what we were going to do when we get home. Hug family and friends...and the dogs and catch up on the past 6-8 weeks of their lifes. Of course this all depends on good reports tomorrow from the doctor. Kendall said she wasn't going to even start packing until she was cleared. We are all trying to down play a little bit. Don't won't to seem too anxious...but we are all ready.
Kendall's fever stayed down today and she has felt ok. We didn't want to do anything to chance making her fever going up. Me and Tammy sanitized the apartment one last time before the weekend trip home and washed up all the clothes...you know just in case.
Reading tonight, I came across this prayer. I took these two verses out to share as they seemed to make me think more about things. To be... "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" is where I want to be. I have never been the man of God that I have wanted to be. I can tell the confidence in a man that has "that fullness". It is something that I want to fill up on.
The other part... "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" is such a blessing to know that God is here to answer our prayers...all our prayers. We just need to pray.
Ephesians 3:19-20
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
Sunday, September 27, 2009
What Do You Think About
Thinking good thoughts, thinking about what is the right thing to do and thanking God for the chance to do all of this. Trying to be a little upbeat tonight as I write this. Another day in the journey with Kendall almost complete. We were a little sad today as we had to take Emily to the airport. We so enjoyed her being able to spend time with Kendall. They had such a good time but it seemed to go by really fast. But just a few more days until we are able to spend time at our home. Kendall is still trying to catch a fever. I'm just glad it's not getting to high. I spring into action when it goes above 99 degrees . Call it paranoid, but now is not the time to get a fever. We don't have to go to the doctor until Tuesday, so not much planned for tomorrow.
We talked to Dylan today and he was in better spirits about his arm. We will have to take him to the doctor this week to find out whether or not his arm is broke.
I hope this verse finds its way into your day tomorrow. Not only does it have 4:8 in it, it also has "whatever" in it. Everywhere I look, I find verses that seem to put meaning into my life. Hard to imagine that so few words have such an impact on my life.
Word of God, I hear you.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
We talked to Dylan today and he was in better spirits about his arm. We will have to take him to the doctor this week to find out whether or not his arm is broke.
I hope this verse finds its way into your day tomorrow. Not only does it have 4:8 in it, it also has "whatever" in it. Everywhere I look, I find verses that seem to put meaning into my life. Hard to imagine that so few words have such an impact on my life.
Word of God, I hear you.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Pile It On
These last couple of days, I have struggled to not think about the past 6 weeks or so. Kendall has done good for the most part. There were a couple of times that her fever went up and we were on pins and needles. Kendall still seems really tired to me but she doesn't want us to think she is. Her and Emily and Tammy have laughed and talked all week. I kinda feel left out because I often find myself being on the tail end of a conversation. And then we received a call Friday night that Dylan may have broke his arm at the football game. Dylan helps out Coach Myric on the sidelines during the High School football game and this happened right before the game. My mother ended up taking him to Childrens Hospital emergency room. The doctors couldn't say whether or not it was broken because of the swelling. But they put him in a cast so he couldn't move it. It is the same arm that he broke last year when he played youth football at Gardendale.
With all of this going on and several other issues, not pertaining to Kendall, I once again become overwhelmed. I have spread my arms as far as they can go. I will continue to stand my ground and fight this as long as I can. But how much can I accomplish from so far away. At times I feel so vulnerable to the surroundings. Today, even though things seemed to be going smooth, I looked into the bible to find help to accomplish all these things. To give me guidance to make it through each and every day.
Kendall is so looking forward to her trip home next week. She has already been planning what to do each day. Hopefully this can renew her already amazing strength to finish the treatments without any problems.
Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.
With all of this going on and several other issues, not pertaining to Kendall, I once again become overwhelmed. I have spread my arms as far as they can go. I will continue to stand my ground and fight this as long as I can. But how much can I accomplish from so far away. At times I feel so vulnerable to the surroundings. Today, even though things seemed to be going smooth, I looked into the bible to find help to accomplish all these things. To give me guidance to make it through each and every day.
Kendall is so looking forward to her trip home next week. She has already been planning what to do each day. Hopefully this can renew her already amazing strength to finish the treatments without any problems.
Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn [a] of my salvation, my stronghold.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
How Great Is Your Love
Fever comes and fever goes. Well, we did not have to go to the emergency room today. Kendall's fever dropped about 3:00am this morning. Although it did go up and down all day but never reach the bad temperature. She was a little more upbeat today. We tried to get her to do something to get her moving around a little bit. So the girls went to get a pedicure. Tammy said Kendall had a good time. I did not go, I let that be a girls day out. They all came back feeling refreshed and smiling. That was our only outing for the day. Kendall's temperature starting to rise again so we made it watching tv and resting in the apartment. We managed to drop the temperature one more time and it hasn't been back. Let's hope it stays away.
It seemed like any show we watched today was dealing with some type of cancer. I don't know if it is that we are more aware of it now or what. Some times we can watch them and other times we change the channel. This far into her treatment and I still have tears pouring out of my eyes when I think about what is going on with her. How much it has affected her, our family, our friends. I'm supposed to be tough. Doesn't take much to bring me to my knees. I look around my new, temporary housing and I do mean temporary, and see so many people dealing with the same issues that I today deal with. How do they do it every day. How can I do it every day. I am beginning to realize your life is what you make of it and the choices that you make....now. The choices made now will forever change my life. I just pray that they are the right choices. The choices that will give me the strength to care for my family and keep us together.
I've been working on some new pictures to post. These pictures are very hard for me to post but Kendall wanted me to post them. She has so much courage and strength in herself and her faith that I feel like she also wants to share with you. Her smile is the only contagious thing about her. When you look at these pictures you will see the smile of angel. So bright that it would light up Gardendale and beyond.
Job 29:24
When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them.
It seemed like any show we watched today was dealing with some type of cancer. I don't know if it is that we are more aware of it now or what. Some times we can watch them and other times we change the channel. This far into her treatment and I still have tears pouring out of my eyes when I think about what is going on with her. How much it has affected her, our family, our friends. I'm supposed to be tough. Doesn't take much to bring me to my knees. I look around my new, temporary housing and I do mean temporary, and see so many people dealing with the same issues that I today deal with. How do they do it every day. How can I do it every day. I am beginning to realize your life is what you make of it and the choices that you make....now. The choices made now will forever change my life. I just pray that they are the right choices. The choices that will give me the strength to care for my family and keep us together.
I've been working on some new pictures to post. These pictures are very hard for me to post but Kendall wanted me to post them. She has so much courage and strength in herself and her faith that I feel like she also wants to share with you. Her smile is the only contagious thing about her. When you look at these pictures you will see the smile of angel. So bright that it would light up Gardendale and beyond.
Job 29:24
When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Number "48"
It's funny how sometimes people become attached to different things throughout their lifetime. One of them I want to tell you about today is the number 48. To some, it's just another number. But to me it has special meaning. I first came across the number almost twenty years ago when I was hired at Gardendale Police Department. My "call" number, is 48. From there it kind of took off and began to pop up everywhere. Part of the number in our address is 48. And Kendall's softball number is 48. She took that number very earlier in her softball years. She carried it all through little league, high school and now in college . I feel like at least a part of me is always with her to protect her. And now I also look at it as the 4th day of the 8th month when we found out something was wrong with her. Go figure.
Kendall hasn't felt good today. I could tell it in her eyes this morning. I went to take her temperature and we talked as we usually do but she kept taking the thermometer out of her mouth. After a couple of times I finally got a good reading. It was 99.1. Not to bad but it steadily made a climb up throughout the day. She has taken it easy today and making sure she is drinking plenty of water. But now it's high enough that we may have to make an emergency trip run. Anytime it gets to 101, they advised us to go to the ER because of her blood counts being so low. It's not there yet and I hope that it will start to go down now. But we are close. I will keep a check on her all night to make sure the fever stays down.
So tonight while I'm looking through bible verses I found one that seemed to apply for today. Then I happened to look at the number. 48. Go figure.
Luke 8:48
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
Kendall hasn't felt good today. I could tell it in her eyes this morning. I went to take her temperature and we talked as we usually do but she kept taking the thermometer out of her mouth. After a couple of times I finally got a good reading. It was 99.1. Not to bad but it steadily made a climb up throughout the day. She has taken it easy today and making sure she is drinking plenty of water. But now it's high enough that we may have to make an emergency trip run. Anytime it gets to 101, they advised us to go to the ER because of her blood counts being so low. It's not there yet and I hope that it will start to go down now. But we are close. I will keep a check on her all night to make sure the fever stays down.
So tonight while I'm looking through bible verses I found one that seemed to apply for today. Then I happened to look at the number. 48. Go figure.
Luke 8:48
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What's Around This Corner
A day of healthcare at its best. Sometimes you just know what to expect...but you just hope for it not to happen. Another 12 hour day in the books. First thing this morning, 8:00am, Kendall was having blood taken at the hospital. We assumed her counts were going to be low...but they were REALLY low. The doctor ordered platelets as well as 2 units of blood. And we had a Lumbar Puncture to go. Emily wanted to see first hand Kendall's fun filled day of excitement at the hospital. Me and Tammy let Emily hang out with Kendall while we went to the big lobby to sit in the big comfortable chairs. I'll give you one guess what they were doing when I went to check on them. That's right...sleeping. Both of them sound asleep with a blanket pulled over their heads. I don't think the day phased Emily any. Not much excitement at all. Just laying around in the bed.
We talked to the physician's assistant about Kendall's treatment and still everything is going as scheduled. She was a little surprised that Kendall hasn't been more tired than she has due to her blood counts being low. Other than that, we are trying to stay calm about making our brief trip home next week. Just to be sure everything goes well.
With all of that being said, I'm going to turn in early to get a good nights sleep. Neither me or Tammy slept any last night. We both were just thinking about the upcoming events with Kendall and her treatment. What to expect next and trying to explore and research all the possibilities of the next big step. Sounds alot like homework. I'm expecting to make an A.
Ephesians 3:12
In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
We talked to the physician's assistant about Kendall's treatment and still everything is going as scheduled. She was a little surprised that Kendall hasn't been more tired than she has due to her blood counts being low. Other than that, we are trying to stay calm about making our brief trip home next week. Just to be sure everything goes well.
With all of that being said, I'm going to turn in early to get a good nights sleep. Neither me or Tammy slept any last night. We both were just thinking about the upcoming events with Kendall and her treatment. What to expect next and trying to explore and research all the possibilities of the next big step. Sounds alot like homework. I'm expecting to make an A.
Ephesians 3:12
In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Standing Still
One day at a time is what we said we would do. This is how we are going to fight this. To date, Kendall is winning all the rounds in my opinion. She continues to improve and perform like a winner. Her strength has given her so much determination to accomplish this journey. And I have no doubt that she will.
Emily arrived Sunday and the two of them have not been separated since. The laughter and excitement going on around the apartment yesterday was loud. I can expect more of this to happen all week. We have a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood work and a Lumbar Puncture. I hope tomorrow goes smoother than this past Friday did. You never seem to know what to expect when we go. That's all the more reason to go one day at a time. Everything can change so quickly now.
Being still is where I feel I am right now. The last few days for me have been....odd. Several "fights" I have been in lately have left me feeling almost helpless. No matter what I seem to do...I can't seem to put the pieces together. So I'm going to just be still and let God work on a few things for me. Never before have I felt that prayer has worked more for me than this past couple of months. Tomorrow is another day and I'm going to finish enjoying today and not worry anymore about tomorrow. My faith, family and friends have become the biggest part of me....so....let's get to it.
Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
Lord...I'm still....I lay this before you only to pick it up tomorrow with your blessing. Your love for Kendall is shinning so bright..I can see the way. Thank you..Amen
Emily arrived Sunday and the two of them have not been separated since. The laughter and excitement going on around the apartment yesterday was loud. I can expect more of this to happen all week. We have a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood work and a Lumbar Puncture. I hope tomorrow goes smoother than this past Friday did. You never seem to know what to expect when we go. That's all the more reason to go one day at a time. Everything can change so quickly now.
Being still is where I feel I am right now. The last few days for me have been....odd. Several "fights" I have been in lately have left me feeling almost helpless. No matter what I seem to do...I can't seem to put the pieces together. So I'm going to just be still and let God work on a few things for me. Never before have I felt that prayer has worked more for me than this past couple of months. Tomorrow is another day and I'm going to finish enjoying today and not worry anymore about tomorrow. My faith, family and friends have become the biggest part of me....so....let's get to it.
Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
Lord...I'm still....I lay this before you only to pick it up tomorrow with your blessing. Your love for Kendall is shinning so bright..I can see the way. Thank you..Amen
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Continued Healing
Sitting here tonight watching football, Kendall working on her scrapbook and Tammy working on a a puzzle....thinking about how much we miss being home. I didn't post Friday as we were at the hospital all day. What was supposed to be a routine blood work turned in to a 12 hour visit. Friday started off good with the nurses drawing the blood and even getting the lab work back fairly quick. Then we meet with the physician assistant. She told us Kendall's counts were low, which we expected and that she wanted Kendall to get 2 pints of blood. From that point on, confusion set in. The orders were wrote wrong and the communication between the lab and doctor just shut down. For about 3 hours, no one could tell us what we needed to do. Not to mention that it was Friday, the busiest day for the lab. after I got upset at the lab nurses, they figured out where the problem was and apologized to Kendall for the delay. From that point forward it went better but there was so many people. So about 9:30pm, we walked out of the hospital to go to the apartment. They said Kendall should be fine for the weekend but to watch her close due to the low counts. As soon as we got back, Kendall went to sleep. I stayed up and browsed through the Internet on AML and related research. I also started reading a book. I know...me reading a book, knitting...what else will happen to me. But the book is really good and keep me occupied while we were at the hospital.
Today, we sanitized the apartment...again. Me and Tammy went to the grocery store while Kendall rested quietly for her "alone time". We wasn't gone long, the grocery store is across the street. Back in time for the Auburn game. It was a nail biter for a little bit, but the best team won....of course. War Eagle!!!
Its getting late so I'll go but just to let you know, Kendall is doing amazingly well and getting plenty of rest. She did mention today that she is going to start getting back in the gym with me. I was glad to hear that. I have been looking for a batting cage to take her to, can't let her skills get down. She just smiled and said whatever.
Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Today, we sanitized the apartment...again. Me and Tammy went to the grocery store while Kendall rested quietly for her "alone time". We wasn't gone long, the grocery store is across the street. Back in time for the Auburn game. It was a nail biter for a little bit, but the best team won....of course. War Eagle!!!
Its getting late so I'll go but just to let you know, Kendall is doing amazingly well and getting plenty of rest. She did mention today that she is going to start getting back in the gym with me. I was glad to hear that. I have been looking for a batting cage to take her to, can't let her skills get down. She just smiled and said whatever.
Psalm 25:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Home???
I began to realize today that whenever any one of us refer to where we are staying...we call it "the apartment" and not home. But the apartment is slowly becoming a home away from home due to the amount of time being spent here. But I don't want to recognize it as being home. I have a home and we all want to go there. Even though I have been taking this a day at a time, when I look back...there have been a lot of days gone by. Little by little the things that all of us have done on a daily basis are becoming lost in time. A few examples are with Dylan. We called each other a dozen times or so every day between us. Talking about our day and about Kendall. The phone calls haven't stopped...but have decreased on both sides. Seeing my K9 partner Hasso every day for the last 4 years to not at all. Small things like this go on and I know I shouldn't worry about them too much but I still think about them. But no matter where I am, at home in Gardendale or in Houston, I am at home with God. I have made him a daily concern in my life and that change has been good. There is a need to pray to Him every day for something or somebody and I will continue to do that on a daily basis.
Kendall has been "normal" today if you want to call it that. She has not been too tired or complained of any pain or discomfort...other than having Leukemia. Bragan and Candice left today so we were all a little sad. Kendall as well as Tammy and me enjoyed their company but the time went by so fast. Time spent with family and friends has really took on a new look. Everything is appreciated a little more.
Kendall has to have blood work done tomorrow to see where her counts are. I expect them to be really low, but Kendall has done so well the last few days they may surprise me. We are looking to make a trip home on September 30 if all goes as planed. So far we are on track for the trip. We will only be there through the weekend but I think it will do Kendall some good to be HOME for a few days.
I looked at this verse today that talked about being at home. Home seemed to take on another meaning instead of "the apartment". I think being Home with God is my choice no matter where I am.
Corinthians 5:8-9
We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
Kendall has been "normal" today if you want to call it that. She has not been too tired or complained of any pain or discomfort...other than having Leukemia. Bragan and Candice left today so we were all a little sad. Kendall as well as Tammy and me enjoyed their company but the time went by so fast. Time spent with family and friends has really took on a new look. Everything is appreciated a little more.
Kendall has to have blood work done tomorrow to see where her counts are. I expect them to be really low, but Kendall has done so well the last few days they may surprise me. We are looking to make a trip home on September 30 if all goes as planed. So far we are on track for the trip. We will only be there through the weekend but I think it will do Kendall some good to be HOME for a few days.
I looked at this verse today that talked about being at home. Home seemed to take on another meaning instead of "the apartment". I think being Home with God is my choice no matter where I am.
Corinthians 5:8-9
We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Beach Trip
Pressing forward through another day of Kendall's journey continues to take us all on a new journey. We receive calls, letters, text messages and emails from people that are saying prayers for Kendall every day. Some of these people are sharing their own personal experiences dealing with Cancer or any other journey going on in their life. Let me tell you, Kendall as well as Tammy and me enjoy every bit of it. The encouragement and uplifting that people can give is unbelievable. This is by itself a "healing" that should be done more often by one another. The last 20 years of my life, I have been working as a police officer. I have worked in many areas of police work. I, more often than not, usually am dealing with people that are going through very difficult times and are at their worst. I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone has troubled times, no matter who you are. And it is such a blessing for people to "lift you up" during those times. People we don't even know are praying for Kendall and sending her words of encouragement as well as me and Tammy. This is what is such a blessing to witness. As hard as this journey is for Kendall and myself, people have been carrying us through it. Not to mention my new energy for reading the bible and trying to apply scripture to everything I do.
2 Tim 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
We took Kendall to Galveston Island today. It was cloudy but that was probably better for her anyway. We drove the car out onto the beach and parked right in front of the water. Kendall and Tammy sat on a blanket while I waded in the Gulf. Bragan and Candice attempted to come out in the ocean until Candice said she stepped on something and it moved out from under her feet. That was all it took and I was alone in the ocean. The girls all laid on the blanket for a while why I just stared at the water. The beach there is not as beautiful as the Alabama coast, no sandy white beaches, but given the circumstance...it was an afternoon at the beach. We stayed for a few hours and then packed up and went to eat. We found a local restaurant to cool off.
Back to Houston we went, traffic by now was getting heavy so it took us a little longer to get back. But we made it, just in time to get a nap. Kendall laid down and rested while Tammy, Bragan and Candice dove into a puzzle. They had it out all over the table. All of them are so intense and determined to finish it before Bragan and Candice go home tomorrow. I read up on current events from the computer and listened to them laugh.
As things wind down, we prepare for tomorrow. Nothing really to do, no hospital, blood work or anything. Just have to be here for Kendall. Her medication has increased as well as me taking her temperature 4-5 times a day. I am beginning to watch her more closely as her counts start to drop lower. We will continue to handle things like we did the first round and hope that we do as good a job.
I really find this verse tonight to be my new drive. I find myself applying scripture to everything I do. And for me, that's a good thing. I had misplaced that part of me for too long.
2 Tim 3:16-17
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
We took Kendall to Galveston Island today. It was cloudy but that was probably better for her anyway. We drove the car out onto the beach and parked right in front of the water. Kendall and Tammy sat on a blanket while I waded in the Gulf. Bragan and Candice attempted to come out in the ocean until Candice said she stepped on something and it moved out from under her feet. That was all it took and I was alone in the ocean. The girls all laid on the blanket for a while why I just stared at the water. The beach there is not as beautiful as the Alabama coast, no sandy white beaches, but given the circumstance...it was an afternoon at the beach. We stayed for a few hours and then packed up and went to eat. We found a local restaurant to cool off.
Back to Houston we went, traffic by now was getting heavy so it took us a little longer to get back. But we made it, just in time to get a nap. Kendall laid down and rested while Tammy, Bragan and Candice dove into a puzzle. They had it out all over the table. All of them are so intense and determined to finish it before Bragan and Candice go home tomorrow. I read up on current events from the computer and listened to them laugh.
As things wind down, we prepare for tomorrow. Nothing really to do, no hospital, blood work or anything. Just have to be here for Kendall. Her medication has increased as well as me taking her temperature 4-5 times a day. I am beginning to watch her more closely as her counts start to drop lower. We will continue to handle things like we did the first round and hope that we do as good a job.
I really find this verse tonight to be my new drive. I find myself applying scripture to everything I do. And for me, that's a good thing. I had misplaced that part of me for too long.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I Love You Today
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
The things you do for your children are not always the popular choice. Sometimes the decisions are made based on what is better for them in the long road ahead. They may not see that far ahead and want to choose the shorter route. By choosing the longer road for them, our children often become mad because they don't understand. We all know how hard it is when our children are mad at us. I have done my share of giving in but sometimes I have to stay the coarse that I am on and weather the storm. My actions will hopefully come to a peaceful resolution during this journey and allow Kendall to once again have a normal life.
Kendall had some blood work done today and it showed that her counts are dropping. This is normal and we have been expecting them to start dropping really low over the next 4 days. A preliminary report on the last MRI Kendall had came back. A lot of medical language that I really don't understand but the doctor translated it to mean that the mass (tumor, lesion..whatever it's called) is almost resolved. Kendall does not have any more leg or lower back pain. Continued good reports. We were at the doctor for a long time today so when we came back to the apartment, Kendall took a nap. Me and Tammy cooked dinner and we all ate together. We settled into the night watching tv and talking. We talked about driving down to Galveston tomorrow to go to the beach. It's only about an hour away and it will get us out of the apartment for some recreational fun.
Today has been hard. I knew there would be days like this that we would experience and it doesn't make them a good day or a bad day...just a hard day.
Kendall, when you read this...know that I love you today!
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
The things you do for your children are not always the popular choice. Sometimes the decisions are made based on what is better for them in the long road ahead. They may not see that far ahead and want to choose the shorter route. By choosing the longer road for them, our children often become mad because they don't understand. We all know how hard it is when our children are mad at us. I have done my share of giving in but sometimes I have to stay the coarse that I am on and weather the storm. My actions will hopefully come to a peaceful resolution during this journey and allow Kendall to once again have a normal life.
Kendall had some blood work done today and it showed that her counts are dropping. This is normal and we have been expecting them to start dropping really low over the next 4 days. A preliminary report on the last MRI Kendall had came back. A lot of medical language that I really don't understand but the doctor translated it to mean that the mass (tumor, lesion..whatever it's called) is almost resolved. Kendall does not have any more leg or lower back pain. Continued good reports. We were at the doctor for a long time today so when we came back to the apartment, Kendall took a nap. Me and Tammy cooked dinner and we all ate together. We settled into the night watching tv and talking. We talked about driving down to Galveston tomorrow to go to the beach. It's only about an hour away and it will get us out of the apartment for some recreational fun.
Today has been hard. I knew there would be days like this that we would experience and it doesn't make them a good day or a bad day...just a hard day.
Kendall, when you read this...know that I love you today!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Who's Teaching Who?
Monday night comes to a close as does the finishing of the second chemotherapy treatment. I am beginning to see Kendall's fight stretch out toward what I feel is going to be her toughest battle. The fight is leaving her tired for the fourth day in a row. But I do believe that Kendall is pushing this fight beyond all limits. Her smile still shines even though I can see in her eyes how tired she has become. I want to push her like I did when I coached her in softball when she was little. Give her that extra word of encouragement that I know she can do it. Tell her that she CAN do ALL things through CHRIST , which strengthen her. All these things....I do, but it upsets me that I can not do any of them for her. All I have are words. This fight...she must accomplish with God at her side. I pray that I have given her all the training necessary that she needs to complete this. Kendall is very determined to complete this and I will be here with her throughout her journey.
Today after we finished her treatment, we took her for a surprise. Bragan and Candice had flown out here to see her. Kendall did not know they were coming. Even as I am pulling into the airport to pick them up, we didn't tell her who was coming. Bragan has not been able to see Kendall since her wedding. Hugs and kisses and tears were coming from everyone when we met up. We went back to the car and then to lunch.
Bragan had to work last night and has not been to sleep yet. We went back to the apartment where I was sure Bragan was going to take a nap. Didn't happen. We all sat in the living room and talked for hours. About 5:30pm, Kendall as well as Bragan, decided to take a nap and that's exactly what they both did. The rest of us stayed awake and flipped through the tv channels.
Kendall woke up long enough to eat something and then went back to bed. Probably for the night. We go to the hospital tomorrow for a lumbar puncture and to get some blood lab work done. It's not until 12:30pm, so we may get to sleep in a little late. Bragan and Candace will be here through the week so I'm sure Kendall will not be bored.
I talked tonight about whether or not I have given Kendall all the "necessary training" that she needs. I look back over the last 15 years of my life. Time that I have had with Kendall to teach her these things. I know that my relationship with God hasn't always been where I wanted it to be. Especially now looking back, there was always things that I could have done differently or applied a bible verse to a particular decision that I may have been struggling with. This is the one thing, even now, that I so desperately want to give to Kendall....and that is a relationship with God. God gives us choices and it is up to us to make the right choices in what we believe to be right...in Gods eyes. We talked about God the other night and Kendall told us that she has a relationship with HIM. That relationship is hers and I do believe she has the "necessary training" to deal with this in her own way. This bible verse I try and apply even now...no matter how old our children are.
Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
Today after we finished her treatment, we took her for a surprise. Bragan and Candice had flown out here to see her. Kendall did not know they were coming. Even as I am pulling into the airport to pick them up, we didn't tell her who was coming. Bragan has not been able to see Kendall since her wedding. Hugs and kisses and tears were coming from everyone when we met up. We went back to the car and then to lunch.
Bragan had to work last night and has not been to sleep yet. We went back to the apartment where I was sure Bragan was going to take a nap. Didn't happen. We all sat in the living room and talked for hours. About 5:30pm, Kendall as well as Bragan, decided to take a nap and that's exactly what they both did. The rest of us stayed awake and flipped through the tv channels.
Kendall woke up long enough to eat something and then went back to bed. Probably for the night. We go to the hospital tomorrow for a lumbar puncture and to get some blood lab work done. It's not until 12:30pm, so we may get to sleep in a little late. Bragan and Candace will be here through the week so I'm sure Kendall will not be bored.
I talked tonight about whether or not I have given Kendall all the "necessary training" that she needs. I look back over the last 15 years of my life. Time that I have had with Kendall to teach her these things. I know that my relationship with God hasn't always been where I wanted it to be. Especially now looking back, there was always things that I could have done differently or applied a bible verse to a particular decision that I may have been struggling with. This is the one thing, even now, that I so desperately want to give to Kendall....and that is a relationship with God. God gives us choices and it is up to us to make the right choices in what we believe to be right...in Gods eyes. We talked about God the other night and Kendall told us that she has a relationship with HIM. That relationship is hers and I do believe she has the "necessary training" to deal with this in her own way. This bible verse I try and apply even now...no matter how old our children are.
Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Patience, we all have it in us.
Coming to the end of Kendall's second chemotherapy treatment brings us one step closer to being able to bring her home. I can't say that this has been easy. I feel as if everything has stopped with us and the world continues to turn. I want to try and find a way to jump back into the main stream of things. Kendall is becoming more homesick every day. She has been real tired the last couple of days which we knew was going to happen. Tomorrow is the last treatment and we should find out where her blood levels are at. This treatment has been so different compared to the first one. I don't know if she is more tired because she walks around more or if her body is more tired. Either way, she has slept alot this weekend.
She was able to spend some time with Jessica and Sierra who were out here visiting. They went to the mall one day and walked around for a while. Mostly, we just stayed inside and watched tv. We were able to watch the Auburn and Alabama games Saturday. I was able to pull them up on the Internet. Kendall watched some of the Alabama game but really wasn't interested in football. We went to treatment again this morning and it all seems to be nothing more than routine now. Seeing a lot of the same nurses and other patients almost on a daily basis now. I cooked lunch today for everybody and as far as I know everyone liked it. Cooking at the apartment is better than having to eat out all the time. Now that we have settled in enough, me and Tammy are trying to cook more. Tammy talked to all the kids and other family and friends today on the phone. Minus us not being in Gardendale, it was alot like our normal Sunday from home.
Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father
Having read this verse, Kendall's Journey has started out very strong. All of us wanting it to be over, but knowing we must hang on. I didn't write about something the other night that happened between Kendall, Tammy and me. But now I want to share this. Kendall was having a rough time the other night about being out here. She wants to go home. Other than being a little tired and losing her hair, she hasn't experienced the immediate pain that she does when she has been physically hurt ...say...playing sports. Most of the pain is immediate and you know or rather Kendall knows what is wrong with her. This....this journey has not been like other injuries. It's been complicated, new, overwhelming and frankly, just don't understand it. This "injury" has affected all of us. I know Kendall is the one having to complete it. But we all are going through it. It has made this very emotionally painful on many levels. While Kendall has been extremely strong dealing with this, there comes a time when it is all going to get to her. She has had some little incidents along the way and will probably have a few more before we are done. But I feel that these little moments are helping to mold her to further understand what is happening with her and around her. This plan that God has for her....I know is the right plan. It has put me on a plan that I never expected either. That's why I pray for patience tonight to be with Kendall. SHE WILL be able to look back at this one day and appreciate Gods plan just as I do now for HIM allowing me to be in her life.
She was able to spend some time with Jessica and Sierra who were out here visiting. They went to the mall one day and walked around for a while. Mostly, we just stayed inside and watched tv. We were able to watch the Auburn and Alabama games Saturday. I was able to pull them up on the Internet. Kendall watched some of the Alabama game but really wasn't interested in football. We went to treatment again this morning and it all seems to be nothing more than routine now. Seeing a lot of the same nurses and other patients almost on a daily basis now. I cooked lunch today for everybody and as far as I know everyone liked it. Cooking at the apartment is better than having to eat out all the time. Now that we have settled in enough, me and Tammy are trying to cook more. Tammy talked to all the kids and other family and friends today on the phone. Minus us not being in Gardendale, it was alot like our normal Sunday from home.
Colossians 1:11
being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father
Having read this verse, Kendall's Journey has started out very strong. All of us wanting it to be over, but knowing we must hang on. I didn't write about something the other night that happened between Kendall, Tammy and me. But now I want to share this. Kendall was having a rough time the other night about being out here. She wants to go home. Other than being a little tired and losing her hair, she hasn't experienced the immediate pain that she does when she has been physically hurt ...say...playing sports. Most of the pain is immediate and you know or rather Kendall knows what is wrong with her. This....this journey has not been like other injuries. It's been complicated, new, overwhelming and frankly, just don't understand it. This "injury" has affected all of us. I know Kendall is the one having to complete it. But we all are going through it. It has made this very emotionally painful on many levels. While Kendall has been extremely strong dealing with this, there comes a time when it is all going to get to her. She has had some little incidents along the way and will probably have a few more before we are done. But I feel that these little moments are helping to mold her to further understand what is happening with her and around her. This plan that God has for her....I know is the right plan. It has put me on a plan that I never expected either. That's why I pray for patience tonight to be with Kendall. SHE WILL be able to look back at this one day and appreciate Gods plan just as I do now for HIM allowing me to be in her life.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Act 2, Scene 1
Act 2, Scene 1. Successful! Just like the movies. The chemotherapy treatment went as scheduled yesterday. Except we were able to go home a little early. As the nurse was hooking Kendall up on the IV's she asked if we wanted to go home and do the treatment. What does that mean, Kendall asked. The nurse said that Kendall could receive the first doses at the hospital and then can carry a portable pump to receive the second dose. Well, that one didn't have to have any second thought. As Kendall was receiving the first dose, the nurse explained to me how to operate the pump for Kendall. It wasn't really hard to do. Push a button. I thought I had enough experience to handle that. When 11:30am rolled around, we were out of there. It's a good thing, I guess, the waiting room was extremely crowded.
Back at the apartment, me and Tammy cleaned a little bit more and sanitized everything. Jessica and Sierra were flying in tonight for a weekend visit.
Sorry there's not much today, the Internet was not working last night when I got ready to post. We are leaving to go to treatment but I wanted to let you know how the first day went.
Back at the apartment, me and Tammy cleaned a little bit more and sanitized everything. Jessica and Sierra were flying in tonight for a weekend visit.
Sorry there's not much today, the Internet was not working last night when I got ready to post. We are leaving to go to treatment but I wanted to let you know how the first day went.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Stepping Forward
Nobody really likes to go to the doctor, usually because there is something wrong. As much as we have been to the doctor with Kendall over the past month, I wouldn't have believed that we actually enjoyed the doctor visit today. This morning we took Kendall in early to have blood work done. The meeting after is what was the good part. Kendall is in "Bone Marrow Remission"!!!!! She has met every goal for the first part of the treatment that the doctors set for her. We are officially in part 2 of the treatment. CONSOLIDATION is what they call it. Kendall's bone marrow aspiration showed that the blasts were under 5. 5 was the magic number we were hoping for. Now, why this is very good news....we still have a long way to go to Complete Remission. She still has at least 5 more chemotherapy treatments to go spaced out over the next 4-5 months. Infection can still be very dangerous to her and we will still have to be careful with her when the counts are low. But still, it is exciting. The Physicians Assistant that was telling us this said that Kendall did extremely well and her counts recovered very fast. Kendall....I....we....owe this to God. I believe that God is with us for Kendall's Journey. To God be the glory.
It's hard for me to not get emotional over this...because I want to. But I know, it is still going to be a long road. It's like all the times I practiced with Kendall on pitching and hitting for softball. She kept working hard to improve herself to strive to be the best that she can be. I know that she believes in herself and is not going to quit "practicing" with this until she wins.
We were supposed to start the chemo today but the treatment was going to last about 6-7 hours, so the doctors changed it to tomorrow. We will start around 9:00am and go for the next 4 days. Then the repeat cleanliness begins. We've already sanitized the apartment.
I want to thank all of you again for your continued support and prayers for Kendall. You have meant more to us than you know. We owe alot of this success to you. It would not have been possible without you. At times I have struggled to write on here but I know that you have been as concerned for Kendall as we have been. I wanted to make all of you a part of this journey and hope that you continue with us. Kendall has expressed many times about how overwhelmed she has been for the love that you have shown her. I am praying for God to lay his hands on you and give you his blessings. That he continues to be with you at all times.
Deuteronomy 32:3
I will proclaim the name of the LORD.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
It's hard for me to not get emotional over this...because I want to. But I know, it is still going to be a long road. It's like all the times I practiced with Kendall on pitching and hitting for softball. She kept working hard to improve herself to strive to be the best that she can be. I know that she believes in herself and is not going to quit "practicing" with this until she wins.
We were supposed to start the chemo today but the treatment was going to last about 6-7 hours, so the doctors changed it to tomorrow. We will start around 9:00am and go for the next 4 days. Then the repeat cleanliness begins. We've already sanitized the apartment.
I want to thank all of you again for your continued support and prayers for Kendall. You have meant more to us than you know. We owe alot of this success to you. It would not have been possible without you. At times I have struggled to write on here but I know that you have been as concerned for Kendall as we have been. I wanted to make all of you a part of this journey and hope that you continue with us. Kendall has expressed many times about how overwhelmed she has been for the love that you have shown her. I am praying for God to lay his hands on you and give you his blessings. That he continues to be with you at all times.
Deuteronomy 32:3
I will proclaim the name of the LORD.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Open Doors
Bone Marrow, bone marrow, bone marrow.....How many Bone Marrow Aspirations can a girl have, was Kendall's question today. Her lower back looks like a pin cushion from all the needles they are sticking in there. Kendall was really upset today thinking she was having a biopsy instead of an aspiration. A biopsy they would actually remove part of the bone. Aspiration is when they take out just the fluid. Both of them are painful and Kendall was not looking forward to either of them today. However, when we arrived at the hospital and the nurse asked her if she was ready for the aspiration, a sigh of relief went over Kendall's face. She said at least they won't be grinding in my bones. As me and Tammy were sitting there, we began to talk to a couple from Louisiana that were there for treatment as well. Maxine Pharr has been having treatment for 11 years at MD Anderson hospital and said she has been through all of it. Mrs. Pharr has Lymphoma and it has been off and on in her body all this time. She would smile as Kendall and me aggravated one another in the waiting room. Mrs. Pharr began to ask about Kendall and then she began to tell us about some of her experiences. She talked about her children and grandchildren as well as friends of hers. Kendall went back for her procedure and we continued to talk to our new friends. When Kendall came out, ready to go, Mrs. Pharr asked if we would mind her putting Kendall on her prayer request at their church. We exchanged names and told her we would do the same and ask people we know to pray for her...
We went straight to the apartment this afternoon, no walking or anything. Kendall had been very quite this morning and said that she didn't sleep good. So I said, dinner and a movie. And that's what we did. Tammy had started a roast this morning before we left and your sure could smell it when we walked in the apartment this afternoon. Another lazy afternoon as Kendall caught up on some rest and we .....did the same.
We think they are going to start her treatment tomorrow afternoon. Kendall is on the schedule for 5:00pm. We will find out in the morning when we go for blood work. Chemo treatments will probably last 4-5 hours tomorrow, which will make out for a long day at the hospital.
We got to see Karsyn on the webcam tonight. Whitney and Chad and Emily too. Karsyn sure has grown and is even starting to roll over now. Can't wait to be able to hold her again. Dylan called as well to update me on his turtle. I got to see him last night. I'm thinking the turtle is small but when I saw it, it's alot bigger than I thought. The turtle will make a nice addition to the animals we currently have.
An early day as well as a long day expected at the hospital tomorrow so I want leave you with a quick prayer and verse.
Revelation 3:8
I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.
Lord, I'm asking for an open door to heal. Please place healing on our new friend, Mrs. Maxine Pharr.
John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
Lord, I'm asking for an open door to heal. Please place healing on Kendall.
We went straight to the apartment this afternoon, no walking or anything. Kendall had been very quite this morning and said that she didn't sleep good. So I said, dinner and a movie. And that's what we did. Tammy had started a roast this morning before we left and your sure could smell it when we walked in the apartment this afternoon. Another lazy afternoon as Kendall caught up on some rest and we .....did the same.
We think they are going to start her treatment tomorrow afternoon. Kendall is on the schedule for 5:00pm. We will find out in the morning when we go for blood work. Chemo treatments will probably last 4-5 hours tomorrow, which will make out for a long day at the hospital.
We got to see Karsyn on the webcam tonight. Whitney and Chad and Emily too. Karsyn sure has grown and is even starting to roll over now. Can't wait to be able to hold her again. Dylan called as well to update me on his turtle. I got to see him last night. I'm thinking the turtle is small but when I saw it, it's alot bigger than I thought. The turtle will make a nice addition to the animals we currently have.
An early day as well as a long day expected at the hospital tomorrow so I want leave you with a quick prayer and verse.
Revelation 3:8
I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.
Lord, I'm asking for an open door to heal. Please place healing on our new friend, Mrs. Maxine Pharr.
John 16:24
Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
Lord, I'm asking for an open door to heal. Please place healing on Kendall.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Who You Looking At
Today is a day that definitely had Kendall Thomas written all over it. We went back to the doctor today for another Lumbar Puncture (chemotherapy treatment) after a long weekend. By now, it's been a few days since I shaved all of Kendall's hair off. She has been sensitive around people most of the weekend. She did open up to Chase some but for the most part, had a hoodie or a toboggan on. So as we were leaving today to go to the doctor, I was a little shocked when Kendall came out of her bedroom and walked right past me with nothing covering her head. I said, Kendall, you forgot your toboggan. And she said I'm not wearing one. She strutted out the apartment down to the car. When we arrived at the hospital, she again was walking with so much confidence it was breathtaking. She was almost daring you to look at her. Of course she looked beautiful and I think everyone else who saw her was saying the same thing. It reminded me of that word Kendall and her friends would say, "swagger". She really had it today.
We went back to the apartment for a while before going to walk around Target. By now I could see that she was getting tired and ready to go back. We don't want to overdo it but I know she enjoys getting out some. Being couped up in the apartment all day is not good for anybody. Her physical strength is coming back more, knowing only to take another hit when we start round 2. I hope this next roller coaster ride is as gentle to her as the first one was. We don't know her completed schedule yet as we will have to wait on the results from today and tomorrows tests. But could possibly start round 2 as early as Thursday.
I have taken some more pictures over the last week and haven't posted them because some of them are with Kendall's head shaved. But she has said that it wouldn't bother her for me to post them. I'm not so sure so I'm giving her some time to think about it. Over the next few days I will work on putting them together and will post only with her permission.
One more thought, as Kendall was laying in the hospital bed today after her procedure she talked to me about the posts I've been making. She said that I have been really short with the last couple of them and asked if something was wrong. What was I supposed to say, No. After our conversation she fell asleep. All I could think about is how much I love her. Going through having Leukemia and all the accessories that it carries, she still has the time to ask me how am I doing. She seems to know me best when I'm not feeling right and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. Kendall has grabbed a hold of this journey and she knows what she has to do and is determined to do it. Kendall is becoming more the teacher and me the student.
1 Chronicles 25:8
Young and old alike, teacher as well as student, cast lots for their duties.
No matter how much I have taught Kendall in the past, I am never above learning even from her. She is taking me to school for this journey.
We went back to the apartment for a while before going to walk around Target. By now I could see that she was getting tired and ready to go back. We don't want to overdo it but I know she enjoys getting out some. Being couped up in the apartment all day is not good for anybody. Her physical strength is coming back more, knowing only to take another hit when we start round 2. I hope this next roller coaster ride is as gentle to her as the first one was. We don't know her completed schedule yet as we will have to wait on the results from today and tomorrows tests. But could possibly start round 2 as early as Thursday.
I have taken some more pictures over the last week and haven't posted them because some of them are with Kendall's head shaved. But she has said that it wouldn't bother her for me to post them. I'm not so sure so I'm giving her some time to think about it. Over the next few days I will work on putting them together and will post only with her permission.
One more thought, as Kendall was laying in the hospital bed today after her procedure she talked to me about the posts I've been making. She said that I have been really short with the last couple of them and asked if something was wrong. What was I supposed to say, No. After our conversation she fell asleep. All I could think about is how much I love her. Going through having Leukemia and all the accessories that it carries, she still has the time to ask me how am I doing. She seems to know me best when I'm not feeling right and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. Kendall has grabbed a hold of this journey and she knows what she has to do and is determined to do it. Kendall is becoming more the teacher and me the student.
1 Chronicles 25:8
Young and old alike, teacher as well as student, cast lots for their duties.
No matter how much I have taught Kendall in the past, I am never above learning even from her. She is taking me to school for this journey.
Monday, September 7, 2009
A New Week
Today was the last day of a very restful weekend. Today was also the day that Chase left to go back home. This morning, as I tried to sleep in late, I laid in the bed and could hear Chase and Kendall laughing in the living room. They were having such a good time, I hated to spoil it by going in there. They were aggravating one another and laughing so loud like nothing else was going on in the world. We ordered pizza for lunch and watched tv until it was time to take Chase to the airport. I thought Kendall would go with me but she chose to stay behind. They said their goodbyes and off we went to the airport. Me and Chase talked about Kendall again and about her treatment. Chase was better this time around and I know he made Kendall feel better.
Back at the apartment we caught up on some sleep and watched a movie. Dylan called to tell me about his turtle that he got over at my mother's house. He was so excited telling me about it. And of course he wants to keep it inside.
Kendall has several tests scheduled this week and we hope to find out the results of the MRI and Bone Marrow Aspiration this week. Not much other than that going on.
Back at the apartment we caught up on some sleep and watched a movie. Dylan called to tell me about his turtle that he got over at my mother's house. He was so excited telling me about it. And of course he wants to keep it inside.
Kendall has several tests scheduled this week and we hope to find out the results of the MRI and Bone Marrow Aspiration this week. Not much other than that going on.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Looking for Peace
I've had a few days to think about what I want to say on here tonight. Kendall has been doing really good. Her energy level is increasing. Her mood has been great. And her confidence level is increasing daily about her losing her hair. I really expect her to not be wearing anything on her head in a few days only showing her ability of how strong she is. She is such an incredible young lady....
We have been out a few times around town. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings Saturday afternoon to eat before the football game. Then back to the apartment to watch football. I did learn one thing. Chase gets very excited about Alabama football. Me being an Auburn fan, the only Auburn fan here, had to sit by the computer to listen to Auburn because I could not overpower all of them for the tv.
We woke up early this morning to get ready to go to church. Kendall hasn't really been able to get out alot except for the past few days, so we decided to go visit a local church. We went to Houston's First Baptist Church and had a nice time at the service. We then picked up some KFC for lunch and went back to the apartment.
Kendall and Chase took a nap so me and Tammy had a chance to talk about everything going on. We had agreed not to talk about it until everyone has left but it came up anyway. So many questions and concerns. Today, being Sunday, is usually the day we come together and eat and Tammy's mother and daddy's house for lunch. Whitney took the laptop down there and we did get to webcam together. It still wasn't the same as being there but it was nice to see and hear all of them laughing and talking.
I guess I didn't write yesterday as it had been a month since we found out about Kendall having Leukemia. Almost been a month since I've been home. I know things are going good right now but I just want to take my family home. Being apart has been hard, not only for us but for the ones that were left at home. I hold my composure together on the outside knowing that I struggle every day on the inside. I'm not the only one who feels that way. Tammy was on the porch today for longer than normal. Kendall went to check on her and told me that she was having a moment. She came in and went to the bedroom. I went in there with her and layed down beside her on the bed. I could tell that she had been crying. We talked for a while and she said to me, "Don't you just have those moments where you want to cry?" I didn't say anything. I just got up and walked off.
John 14:1
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
As hard as I found it to write tonight I found these two verses that inspired me to continue. The last few days with Kendall have been great, she has felt good and no problems have came up. So why do I still feel the pain inside. I guess until this is over there will always be a troubled heart inside.
We have been out a few times around town. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings Saturday afternoon to eat before the football game. Then back to the apartment to watch football. I did learn one thing. Chase gets very excited about Alabama football. Me being an Auburn fan, the only Auburn fan here, had to sit by the computer to listen to Auburn because I could not overpower all of them for the tv.
We woke up early this morning to get ready to go to church. Kendall hasn't really been able to get out alot except for the past few days, so we decided to go visit a local church. We went to Houston's First Baptist Church and had a nice time at the service. We then picked up some KFC for lunch and went back to the apartment.
Kendall and Chase took a nap so me and Tammy had a chance to talk about everything going on. We had agreed not to talk about it until everyone has left but it came up anyway. So many questions and concerns. Today, being Sunday, is usually the day we come together and eat and Tammy's mother and daddy's house for lunch. Whitney took the laptop down there and we did get to webcam together. It still wasn't the same as being there but it was nice to see and hear all of them laughing and talking.
I guess I didn't write yesterday as it had been a month since we found out about Kendall having Leukemia. Almost been a month since I've been home. I know things are going good right now but I just want to take my family home. Being apart has been hard, not only for us but for the ones that were left at home. I hold my composure together on the outside knowing that I struggle every day on the inside. I'm not the only one who feels that way. Tammy was on the porch today for longer than normal. Kendall went to check on her and told me that she was having a moment. She came in and went to the bedroom. I went in there with her and layed down beside her on the bed. I could tell that she had been crying. We talked for a while and she said to me, "Don't you just have those moments where you want to cry?" I didn't say anything. I just got up and walked off.
John 14:1
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
As hard as I found it to write tonight I found these two verses that inspired me to continue. The last few days with Kendall have been great, she has felt good and no problems have came up. So why do I still feel the pain inside. I guess until this is over there will always be a troubled heart inside.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Beautiful,simply beautiful!
Today is a day that will no doubt be remembered by me as Beautiful. We started out the day with a visit from Keith and Deb. They came over to the apartment today to spend the day with Kendall. They had to go home today and I could see the look of frustration in their faces knowing that neither of them wanted to leave. We sat around and talked and then decided to go to lunch. I assumed that Kendall and Chase would go and me and Tammy would stay behind so they could spend some time with her. But then they invited us to go as well. I was excited to go because I didn't want to miss out on any fun. Kendall wanted Mexican so we found another place down the street. It was really good and we all laughed and made jokes. For those of you that don't know. Keith and Deb and Tammy and me have bought Kendall a couple of "Cranial Prosthesis" which is the medical word for a wig. Kendall still has some hair but it has been coming out over the last few days. Kendall was wearing one, and honestly I can not tell the difference, because the cut is the same as her real hair. We were being seated at a table and none of us really payed any attention that there was a large fan right over the table. I wasn't even thinking when I went to the side without the fan, because I didn't want to sit next it. Then Kendall walked right over in front of it....and well.... the fan was blowing really fast. But Kendall was quick enough to make an adjustment and nothing went wrong. We all began looking at one another until Kendall started laughing and then we all started laughing as well. We had a good lunch. We then went to the apartment to get the rest of Keith and Debs stuff because they had to go to the airport to go home.
This is the part I was not looking forward to. They said their goodbyes, hugged and kissed and told each other they loved one another. I began thinking how hard this must be for both of them as they were walking out the door. How I am going to dread doing this myself or for Tammy when the time comes. I'm really glad Keith and Deb were able to come out, we really did have a great time together. I know Kendall is looking forward to the next visit.
So with the mood being a little bit down, what's the best thing to do....go get ice cream. So that's what we did. Chick-Fil-A and ice cream and shakes. That always make you fell better.
The rest of the afternoon goes by kinda fast. We watched a movie, I'm making an Auburn toboggan and we discussed cutting Kendalls hair. Kendall is ready to shave her hair off as it has really began to come out. I had brought a shaver, because that's what I use for mine...well the side of my head anyway. So Kendall is anxious to do this but doesn't want anyone to see it but me. So Kendall and me go in the bathroom and I began to shave her hair. Inside, I'm wanting to bust out crying because I know she is going to see what I've done to her and she is going to get upset. She said the razor felt good as I went over the top of her head. She said it was like someone scratching her head. But the more I shaved the more beautiful she became. She was already beautiful and the first thing I said is look at those big beautiful eyes. She has had her head down during most of the shaving. As soon as she looked in the mirror she placed her head down again and started crying. I got on my knees in all that hair on the floor and just held her. I wanted to cry with her but I needed to be strong, for her, for me. I told her how beautiful she was with or without hair and I don't how anyone could think anything other. I asked her to look at me and her eyes were filled with tears. She had tracks on her face from the tears falling. No mistaking those blue eyes for brown anymore. I told her that she was going to get through this. She shook her head and I wiped her tears away. She said she that she was alright. I told her to get a shower and wash all the hair off of her as I cleaned up the bathroom.
Chase, Tammy and myself were in the living room when she came out of her room. She had taken a shower and was ready for bed. As she came through the door, her smile was as big as I have ever seen it. She had a hooded sweatshirt on with her head covered. She was displaying so many emotions on her face. But one thing was for sure...is that she was beautiful.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
This is the part I was not looking forward to. They said their goodbyes, hugged and kissed and told each other they loved one another. I began thinking how hard this must be for both of them as they were walking out the door. How I am going to dread doing this myself or for Tammy when the time comes. I'm really glad Keith and Deb were able to come out, we really did have a great time together. I know Kendall is looking forward to the next visit.
So with the mood being a little bit down, what's the best thing to do....go get ice cream. So that's what we did. Chick-Fil-A and ice cream and shakes. That always make you fell better.
The rest of the afternoon goes by kinda fast. We watched a movie, I'm making an Auburn toboggan and we discussed cutting Kendalls hair. Kendall is ready to shave her hair off as it has really began to come out. I had brought a shaver, because that's what I use for mine...well the side of my head anyway. So Kendall is anxious to do this but doesn't want anyone to see it but me. So Kendall and me go in the bathroom and I began to shave her hair. Inside, I'm wanting to bust out crying because I know she is going to see what I've done to her and she is going to get upset. She said the razor felt good as I went over the top of her head. She said it was like someone scratching her head. But the more I shaved the more beautiful she became. She was already beautiful and the first thing I said is look at those big beautiful eyes. She has had her head down during most of the shaving. As soon as she looked in the mirror she placed her head down again and started crying. I got on my knees in all that hair on the floor and just held her. I wanted to cry with her but I needed to be strong, for her, for me. I told her how beautiful she was with or without hair and I don't how anyone could think anything other. I asked her to look at me and her eyes were filled with tears. She had tracks on her face from the tears falling. No mistaking those blue eyes for brown anymore. I told her that she was going to get through this. She shook her head and I wiped her tears away. She said she that she was alright. I told her to get a shower and wash all the hair off of her as I cleaned up the bathroom.
Chase, Tammy and myself were in the living room when she came out of her room. She had taken a shower and was ready for bed. As she came through the door, her smile was as big as I have ever seen it. She had a hooded sweatshirt on with her head covered. She was displaying so many emotions on her face. But one thing was for sure...is that she was beautiful.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A Good Report
Well, today was the day we have been waiting for. First round of chemotherapy is complete. We arrived at the hospital about 7:30am and went through the usual blood labs. We then went to eat a quick breakfast down in the cafeteria. Kendall had her usual, gravy biscuits. We were not due to see the doctor until 10:00am, but we went to her office anyway hoping they might have tell us something earlier. A little after 10:00am, the doctor came in to talk to us. She said that Kendall's "blasts" were down a little from the bone marrow aspiration test, but not to the level that they were hoping for. But they were down. They want to do another bone marrow aspiration next week, anticipating that the "blasts" will be down even more. The spinal fluid showed no signs of Leukemic cells at all. They want to start the second part of her treatment next week. Overall, it was a good report. The doctor said that Kendall has responded beautifully to the treatment with little side effects and that it was working. The doctor said that it would even be alright if Kendall wanted to take a trip home towards the end of her second cycle, provided it works as well as it has the first time. So if all goes well, Kendall can home for a visit at the end of the month for about 10 days. Kendall's blood levels have improved even more since Tuesday and are working on their on.
This first round has had both ups and downs. Has been difficult for Kendall learning how to deal with her new lifestyle. But it has been positive. Kendall has been overwhelmingly strong through this and I am so proud of her for being able to handle this the way that she has. Not that I had any doubts that she couldn't.
Kendall went with me to pick up Chase at the airport. She was really glad to see him. Chase talked about his flight and we made small talk but Kendall wanted him to herself so I walked up ahead a little bit, not that they were paying me any attention anyway. We went back to the apartment where we joined Tammy, Keith and Deb for dinner. Tammy had cooked Chicken and Rice for everybody. We ate, watched a little football and talked through the evening.
All in all the reports were good, a work in progress. We know this is going to take awhile. We're still looking at 6 months worth of chemotherapy treatments to go. But one day at a time we will deal with it the best way that we can. Now that we have been through this first part, and especially the way Kendall has responded to the treatment, me and Tammy have talked about one of us going home for awhile. How hard is that going to be, leaving one of your children with something like this. As sure as I have been with God leading our path, I trust in Him that he will guide us to the right decision.
John 8:16
But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.
This first round has had both ups and downs. Has been difficult for Kendall learning how to deal with her new lifestyle. But it has been positive. Kendall has been overwhelmingly strong through this and I am so proud of her for being able to handle this the way that she has. Not that I had any doubts that she couldn't.
Kendall went with me to pick up Chase at the airport. She was really glad to see him. Chase talked about his flight and we made small talk but Kendall wanted him to herself so I walked up ahead a little bit, not that they were paying me any attention anyway. We went back to the apartment where we joined Tammy, Keith and Deb for dinner. Tammy had cooked Chicken and Rice for everybody. We ate, watched a little football and talked through the evening.
All in all the reports were good, a work in progress. We know this is going to take awhile. We're still looking at 6 months worth of chemotherapy treatments to go. But one day at a time we will deal with it the best way that we can. Now that we have been through this first part, and especially the way Kendall has responded to the treatment, me and Tammy have talked about one of us going home for awhile. How hard is that going to be, leaving one of your children with something like this. As sure as I have been with God leading our path, I trust in Him that he will guide us to the right decision.
John 8:16
But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What's Wrong with Me
I'm reading through the Bible tonight looking for passages and verses that continue to keep me pressing through this Blog of Kendall's Journey. I playback the days events, the phone calls and the talks we have had today. I try and keep up with the world going on outside of Houston. And the world has not stopped. Everyone still has to live their life, moving forward. It bothers me sometimes to think how easy it is to get caught up in something and not take the time to see what's really important. My life is what I make it. Sure, I can mess up the plan that God has for me or I can continue to drive towards his light doing good for his purpose. Kendall's Journey is showing me what is really important in my life.....
....This family continues to work together for the purpose that has been placed before us. The love is shinning down at every minute of the day onto us. So much is happening around us, I wish you could see it as I do.
Friends and neighbors are supporting and loving our every need. How great is the love and friendship of neighbors. So great, that I long for the day to embrace each of you to try and express how much you have meant to all of us.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Kendall slept in a little late this morning from the long day at the hospital yesterday. Keith and Deb came over to the apartment to visit with her for a while. She was so happy to see them. That smile of hers continued to glow. We sat around and talked about Kendall and her doctors, normal hospital cancer treatment stuff. We talked so much that Kendall wanted to get out of the apartment for a while. Keith and Deb took her out for an afternoon on the town. Me and Tammy decided to go the grocery store while they were gone. They went to eat at Olive Garden, one of Kendall's other favorite places to eat. They also got some exercise walking around Houston.
Not much went on after that. A quite evening at the apartment and turning in early. Thursday we meet Kendall's doctor to hopefully find out the results from the test earlier this week.
What's wrong with me is I always seemed to know what a loving family we have. We have always been close. Our friends are dear to us and we talked often, even before all of us. Our neighbors have always looked out for us as we have looked out for them. In a sense you could say that even our friends and neighbors are FAMILY as well. But....to see what I'm seeing now, I don't know what I've done to deserve the blessings that you are showing to Kendall and to us. From the deepest part of my heart, I say thank you, I love you and God Bless You!
....This family continues to work together for the purpose that has been placed before us. The love is shinning down at every minute of the day onto us. So much is happening around us, I wish you could see it as I do.
Friends and neighbors are supporting and loving our every need. How great is the love and friendship of neighbors. So great, that I long for the day to embrace each of you to try and express how much you have meant to all of us.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Kendall slept in a little late this morning from the long day at the hospital yesterday. Keith and Deb came over to the apartment to visit with her for a while. She was so happy to see them. That smile of hers continued to glow. We sat around and talked about Kendall and her doctors, normal hospital cancer treatment stuff. We talked so much that Kendall wanted to get out of the apartment for a while. Keith and Deb took her out for an afternoon on the town. Me and Tammy decided to go the grocery store while they were gone. They went to eat at Olive Garden, one of Kendall's other favorite places to eat. They also got some exercise walking around Houston.
Not much went on after that. A quite evening at the apartment and turning in early. Thursday we meet Kendall's doctor to hopefully find out the results from the test earlier this week.
What's wrong with me is I always seemed to know what a loving family we have. We have always been close. Our friends are dear to us and we talked often, even before all of us. Our neighbors have always looked out for us as we have looked out for them. In a sense you could say that even our friends and neighbors are FAMILY as well. But....to see what I'm seeing now, I don't know what I've done to deserve the blessings that you are showing to Kendall and to us. From the deepest part of my heart, I say thank you, I love you and God Bless You!
Working Through It
We started out this morning with a change in the schedule. I called the doctors office to confirm the tests and they had been changed. We didn't have to be there until 3:00pm. They had reworked the schedule so we wouldn't have to be at the hospital all day. So what do you do when you doctor's appointment is changed. Go shopping! We drove over to a strip mall close to the apartment and walked around. This, of course, was after breakfast at IHOP. International House of PANCAKES, right. Well Kendall orders gravy biscuits and grits. But they were good, Kendall said. It reminded me of us going to the Mexican restaurant in Gardendale and Dylan always ordering a corn dog.
So we're walking around the strip mall and Kendall finds a toboggan. And she buys it! What about my toboggan? Just kidding, I know she still likes mine, even though the one she bought looked better. We walked around for about an hour an a half and went back to the apartment to get a nap. Kendall was tired, or was it me.
We went to the hospital a little early so I could give blood. They were having a blood drive and I thought I would give my pint. They even gave me a t-shirt for it. Kendall has her bone marrow aspiration and then we went to have more blood work done before the MRI. All of this would last until 9:00pm. Hopefully, we should know the results of these tests on Thursday.
Keith and Deb flew in tonight to Houston. I'm sure we will have a full day of activities for tomorrow as we do not have any doctors appointments.
Kendall was still losing some of her hair today and we mildly tried to laugh about it as she would usually be the one laughing first. Tonight before she went to bed, she became upset about it and is not really ready for it to come out. She said she hopes it stays in a little longer, at least until Chase is here. I know she is upset but has handled it rather well. She will continue to work through it, one day at a time.
John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
So we're walking around the strip mall and Kendall finds a toboggan. And she buys it! What about my toboggan? Just kidding, I know she still likes mine, even though the one she bought looked better. We walked around for about an hour an a half and went back to the apartment to get a nap. Kendall was tired, or was it me.
We went to the hospital a little early so I could give blood. They were having a blood drive and I thought I would give my pint. They even gave me a t-shirt for it. Kendall has her bone marrow aspiration and then we went to have more blood work done before the MRI. All of this would last until 9:00pm. Hopefully, we should know the results of these tests on Thursday.
Keith and Deb flew in tonight to Houston. I'm sure we will have a full day of activities for tomorrow as we do not have any doctors appointments.
Kendall was still losing some of her hair today and we mildly tried to laugh about it as she would usually be the one laughing first. Tonight before she went to bed, she became upset about it and is not really ready for it to come out. She said she hopes it stays in a little longer, at least until Chase is here. I know she is upset but has handled it rather well. She will continue to work through it, one day at a time.
John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
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